22. Social Justice with Your Asian Parents ft. Irving Chong (Asians in Space)
Explicit content warning
04/11/21 • 57 min
Irving Chong from Asians in Space joins us to share his experience growing up in Alberta, Canada as one of the few Asian kids in the neighbourhood. We discuss what a “rotten banana” is, growing up inside a bubble, shaming people in “doing the right thing”, and how we can talk about social justice with our Chinese parents.
Highlights:
- What does it mean to be an Asian Canadian Millennial?
- Growing up as a Chinese Kid who loved Black culture in a White conservative city
- What is the role of social media activism?
- Angie feeling ashamed of liking hip hop music
- How the Chinese cultural revolution affects the way we communicate with our parents about social justice
Takeaways:
- Culture and identity is less about where you are from and more about where you belong
- Be curious about why someone else might think differently from you
- It takes multiple conversations to get through the cultural, generational, (and maybe language) barriers
- Bring kindness, compassion, and patience into any conversation
- The point isn’t for your parents to agree, it’s for your parents to understand your perspectives and for you to see theirs too
Resources:
- Asians in Space (Podcast)
- The Asn Canadian (Instagram)
- Fresh Off The Boat by Eddie Huang (Book)
- For the Culture by Irving Chong (Paper on What it means to be an Asian Canadian Millennial)
- Unlocking Us: Shame & Accountability by Brene Brown (Podcast)
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Email: [email protected]
Send us an audio message by clicking here!
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Irving Chong from Asians in Space joins us to share his experience growing up in Alberta, Canada as one of the few Asian kids in the neighbourhood. We discuss what a “rotten banana” is, growing up inside a bubble, shaming people in “doing the right thing”, and how we can talk about social justice with our Chinese parents.
Highlights:
- What does it mean to be an Asian Canadian Millennial?
- Growing up as a Chinese Kid who loved Black culture in a White conservative city
- What is the role of social media activism?
- Angie feeling ashamed of liking hip hop music
- How the Chinese cultural revolution affects the way we communicate with our parents about social justice
Takeaways:
- Culture and identity is less about where you are from and more about where you belong
- Be curious about why someone else might think differently from you
- It takes multiple conversations to get through the cultural, generational, (and maybe language) barriers
- Bring kindness, compassion, and patience into any conversation
- The point isn’t for your parents to agree, it’s for your parents to understand your perspectives and for you to see theirs too
Resources:
- Asians in Space (Podcast)
- The Asn Canadian (Instagram)
- Fresh Off The Boat by Eddie Huang (Book)
- For the Culture by Irving Chong (Paper on What it means to be an Asian Canadian Millennial)
- Unlocking Us: Shame & Accountability by Brene Brown (Podcast)
Enjoyed this episode? Share with a friend! Hit subscribe to get the latest episodes. Leave us a comment and let us know your favourite episode!
----
Tell Kristy & Angie what cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics you want to listen to!
Email us, DM, or Record a 60-second voice message. Send us an audio message by clicking here!
Instagram @shitwedonttellmom
Email: [email protected]
The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble tea, we would love that too.
----
Instagram @shitwedonttellmom
Email: [email protected]
Send us an audio message by clicking here!
----
We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it really easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card!
We also use Descript as our editing software because editing with text is much easier than with soundwaves. We are not audio geniuses and want to focus our energy on creating content rather than editing. Sign up today and get your first 3 months free!
Yes these are affiliate links because we like them and we use them too.
Previous Episode
21. Managing Expectations as an Asian Millennial ft. Natalie Cheung (Yellow Bee Pod)
Natalie from Yellow Bee Pod joins us to share her experience transitioning out of her civil engineering job to an outspoken supporter of Asian identity and women in STEM. We talk about what our parents’ expectations of us are growing up, our own expectations of what our life will look like, and how those expectations have changed as we approach milestones in our adulthood.
Highlights:
- Natalie kept her new job secret for six months before telling her mom
- Keeping your career plans to yourselves because it's easier than explaining it to your immigrant parents
- What we thought being an adult would be like versus what it’s actually like
- What emigrating was like for our moms when they were young
- We open up a safe space to discuss what we know and what we should know about Asian incels
Takeaways:
- Turning away from the expectations of your parents can happen at any time in your life
- Our parents never had a open-communication relationship with their parents, so it’s up to us to initiate that as our generation’s contribution
- Good grades, good university, and good job does not always equal happily ever after
- Our immigrant parents craved stability but did not have it and now they want that stability for us
- Median warps representation of all groups, whether it’s religion, incels, or our own communities
Resources:
- Natalie's Yellow Bee Pod
- Yellow Bee Pod (Instagram)
- Rice to Meet You Pod with Evelyn Mok and Nigel Ng (Instagram)
- Never Have I Ever (Netflix)
- To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before
- Asian America: The Ken Fong Podcast
Enjoyed this episode? Share with a friend! Hit subscribe to get the latest episodes. Leave us a comment or review and let us know your favourite episode!
----
Tell Kristy & Angie what cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics you want to listen to!
Email us, DM, or Record a 60-second voice message. Send us an audio message by clicking here!
The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble tea, we would love that too.
----
Instagram @shitwedonttellmom
Email: [email protected]
Send us an audio message by clicking here!
----
We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it really easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card!
We also use Descript as our editing software because editing with text is much easier than with soundwaves. We are not audio geniuses and want to focus our energy on creating content rather than editing. Sign up today and get your first 3 months free!
Yes these are affiliate links because we like them and we use them too.
Next Episode
23. Masculinity ft. Lance Gee & Eric Wu (Off the Wok)
2 Asian men get vulnerable with us and share their fears, shames, and insecurities. Lance Gee and Eric Wu from over at Off The Wok discuss losing a job, feeling suicidal, de-sexualization of Asian men, and starting all over from failures. Check out this hilarious episode that takes a turn for a deep dive into the Asian male psyche as Lance and Eric get super vulnerable with us. Content warning: suicide
Highlights:
- Going back to school and restarting a career with a family
- Eric’s fear of water (what?) but he takes showers every day
- Losing your job as the “man” of the family
- Asian male representation in media
- Lance and Eric overcoming the lowest points of their lives
Takeaways:
- The shame comes from comparisons and it ruins us
- Our judgements of others are projections of our own insecurities
- People don’t give a crap, so give a crap about yourself
- Provide non-judgmental support and a safe space for the men in your life
- Everyone’s low point is different but they are all painful and valid
Resources:
- Off The Wok (Podcast)
- Off The Wok (Instagram)
- Why I’m Done Trying to Be “Man Enough” (Ted Talk)
- Crisis Centre Helpline (Canada)
- Suicide Prevention Lifeline (USA)
Enjoyed this episode? Share with a friend! Hit subscribe to get the latest episodes. Leave us a comment or review and let us know your favourite episode!
----
Tell Kristy & Angie what cringy and uncomfortable conversation topics you want to listen to!
Email us, DM, or Record a 60-second voice message. Send us an audio message by clicking here!
Instagram @shitwedonttellmom
Email: [email protected]
The best way to support this show is by listening and sharing with a friend. If you would like to buy a coffee or bubble tea, we would love that too.
----
Instagram @shitwedonttellmom
Email: [email protected]
Send us an audio message by clicking here!
----
We use Buzzsprout as our host because they seamlessly link to major podcast platforms and make it really easy to read analytics. They also have an awesome support team. Sign up today and get a $20 Amazon gift card!
We also use Descript as our editing software because editing with text is much easier than with soundwaves. We are not audio geniuses and want to focus our energy on creating content rather than editing. Sign up today and get your first 3 months free!
Yes these are affiliate links because we like them and we use them too.
Shit We Don't Tell Mom - 22. Social Justice with Your Asian Parents ft. Irving Chong (Asians in Space)
Transcript
So I think with my mom, she's still very much thinks and feels about social justice as a very person, to person interactions, as opposed to systemic thing. But I also can't be like, no, mom, we need to tear everything down because I know her response will be okay, what comes after And like, she'll expect me to have an answer for her, which is ridiculous because no one person's. Can solve all of the injustice in the world.
Kristy Yee<If you like this episode you’ll love
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