EP 126: Navigating Relationship Conflict and Infidelity while Mothering, Co-Regulation, and Self-Preservation with Livia Shapiro

In this episode, Kimberly and Livia discuss Livia’s latest book “The Somatic Therapy Workbook” and how it came to be during a difficult marital separation. Livia shares how writing her book was an anchor in the midst of relationship chaos, all while mothering and how to co-regulate with children at developmentally appropriate ages. Livia walks us through her ultimate decision to separate from her ex-partner as healthy self-preservation, as well as the difficulties of doing so within a family unit.

Bio

Livia Shapiro is a mother, long time yoga practitioner and teacher, somatic psychotherapist and author. Livia writes on the intersection of yoga, somatics, and psychology. She is the author of “The Somatic Therapy Workbook: stress-relieving exercises for strengthening the mind-body connection and sparking emotional and physical healing.” Her article “Yoga-Based Body Psychotherapy” is published in the International Journal of Body Psychotherapy and is a tool for weaving yoga and psychotherapy into a seamless psychotherapeutic model. As a Somatic Psychotherapist Livia works holistically, helping women reorient and repair their nervous systems to live more vibrantly and powerfully.

What They Share

— Betrayal and infidelity in a marriage while mothering

— How to co-regulate with children verbally and physically during crises

— Separating and single parenting/co-parenting

— Living with actual reality vs. desired reality

— Preserving Oneself as ultimate act of Mothering

What You’ll Hear

— Livia shares writing “The Somatic Therapy Workbook” during a life crisis

— Dealing with difficult pregnancy physically and emotionally

— Experiencing miscarriage as grace

— Livia’s “Fully incarnate” soul into body as a woman, therapist, mother, human

— Blighted ovum miscarriage

— Break-up of relationship with ex-partner and daughter’s father

— Family secrets and developmentally appropriate honesty with children

— Boundaries, privacy, and protection with children

— Betrayal and shock during marital crisis and mothering

— Repairing after marital arguments in front of children

— Spousal separation while parenting

— Giving children language during difficult times

— Single parenting

— Co-regulation as acknowledging difficult emotions for children

— Confirming realities instead of hiding for children

— Lack of confirmation leading to cultism, narcissism, binary thinking

— Growing up without honest conversations between parents and children

— Teaching verbal and bodily ways to shake out a tense situation

— Sharing space both individually and together with children

— Needing individual and emotional space from children

— Healing, repairing, and recalibrating from infidelity

— Infidelity as a power struggle

— Self-preservation within a family dynamic

— Discovery trauma occurs when told of betrayal

— Grieving future sibling loss with same parents as a result of separation

— Difficulty accepting potentially new parents in child’s life after separation

— Family in-tact doesn’t necessitate individual being in-tact

— Kimberly’s desire for marriage and leaving relationship with child’s father and Brazil

— Being first person in lineage to divorce

— Evaluating relationship difficulty vs. needing to leave traumatic situation

— Leaving unhealthy environments as necessity and self-preservation

— Accepting what is true and not what wished was true

— Claiming self as mother, wife (ex-wife), author

— Need for Applied Psychology for all body-workers and somatic professionals

— Yoga teachers as somatic practitioners

— “The Somatic Therapy Workbook” for all practitioners (yoga, birth, therapists)

— “The Somatic Therapy Workbook” complimenting and pairing with “Call of the Wild”

Resources

Website: http://ecstaticunfoldment.com/

IG: @liviashapiro

Email: [email protected]