239. Q&A: How can I support my child's self-confidence when she calls herself dumb?

09/19/24 • 26 min

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

The urge may be to talk your child out of thinking they're "dumb," but it can be helpful to stay with this feeling and lean into being curious about her experience.

How to zoom out and determine if your child is speaking out of frustration and is just emoting or if they actually have internalized that they think they aren't smart.

How to talk with your child in a way that helps build back their confidence in themself when they are struggling to learn something new, like reading.

We also want to try not to catastrophize this situation either - just because your child is saying this doesn't mean they will permanently have a poor self-image.

You can boost your child's self-confidence by feeling confident in their ability to handle the challenges they face.

How to get clear with your kid about what they think "smart" and "dumb" means, and building flexibility around those ideas.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

👉🏻 If you're interested in exploring whether your child could benefit from a Neuropsychological Evaluation, CLICK HERE to learn about what we offer at Upshur Bren Psychology Group or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.

📚 BoyMom: Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity by Ruth Whippman

🎥 Inside Out and Inside Out 2

WANT TO LISTEN TO MORE EPISODES ON THIS TOPIC:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when your child says "I hate myself"

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about learning styles and what the research reveals are the best methods for teaching children with Dan Willingham

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangerous and pressures of achievement centered systems with Jennifer Breheny Wallace

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

The urge may be to talk your child out of thinking they're "dumb," but it can be helpful to stay with this feeling and lean into being curious about her experience.

How to zoom out and determine if your child is speaking out of frustration and is just emoting or if they actually have internalized that they think they aren't smart.

How to talk with your child in a way that helps build back their confidence in themself when they are struggling to learn something new, like reading.

We also want to try not to catastrophize this situation either - just because your child is saying this doesn't mean they will permanently have a poor self-image.

You can boost your child's self-confidence by feeling confident in their ability to handle the challenges they face.

How to get clear with your kid about what they think "smart" and "dumb" means, and building flexibility around those ideas.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

📚 BoyMom: Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity by Ruth Whippman

🎥 Inside Out and Inside Out 2

WANT TO LISTEN TO MORE EPISODES ON THIS TOPIC:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when your child says "I hate myself"

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about learning styles and what the research reveals are the best methods for teaching children with Dan Willingham

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangerous and pressures of achievement centered systems with Jennifer Breheny Wallace

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Previous Episode

238. Temperament, personality, and parenting: What you do (and don’t) have control over as a parent with Dr. Koraly Pérez-Edgar

How can you honor who your child is while still equipping them with the tools they need to thrive in our fast-paced world?

That's exactly what I'm talking about with my guest, McCourtney Professor of Child Studies and Professor of Psychology at Penn State, Dr. Koraly Pérez-Edgar.

In this episode, we dive into:

What temperament actually is from a psychological standpoint (it’s probably not what you think it is!) and the factors professionals use to measure and map it out.

What impact temperament has on the way sensitive, shy, or explosive children regulate their emotions and respond to their environment.

How parents can create opportunities for their child to become self-actualized and why focusing on self-actualization is the precursor to helping them achieve and thrive.

Inhibited versus exuberant - how finding the right niche for a child’s unique temperament can define their success, even if it doesn’t align with traditional expectations.

How to find that middle ground between pushing your child when they need a bit of encouragement and nurturing them when they need more support and scaffolding.

Tune in for valuable insights that will help you navigate the complexities of parenting with more confidence and compassion!

LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. KORALY PÉREZ-EDGAR:

https://www.catlabpsu.com/our-team-1

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 How understanding your child's sensory sensitivities can strengthen their emotional intelligence with Alyssa Blask Campbell

🎧 Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) with Dr. Eli Lebowitz of the Yale Child Study Center

🎧 Debunking the myth of learning styles with Dr. Dan Willingham

Next Episode

240. Processing birth trauma: How to make sense of, heal, and move forward after a difficult birthing experience with Dr. Sterling

Dr. Sterling, ObGyn and founder of Sterling Parents, dives deep into the complex relationship between stress, trauma, pregnancy, and birth.

In this episode we explore:

The impact of stress and anxiety on fetal development and pregnancy outcomes.

What birth trauma is, how frequently it occurs, and common symptoms people may feel (and may not even realize is trauma).

Dr. Sterling shares her own deeply personal and inspiring experience struggling with and working to heal from the trauma she experienced after the birth of her first child.

Why so many women downplay and minimize their symptoms, and how this can inadvertently be a block to their healing.

Practical tips for what you can do during pregnancy to reduce the potential risk of experiencing birth trauma.

Steps you can take immediately after birth, or even years later, to begin healing from trauma.

You do not have one shot at having an empowering birth - how to make meaning of what happened to you so you can shift your birth trauma into a positive experience for yourself!

LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. STERLING:

https://sterlingparents.com/about-us/

JOIN DR. STERLING'S MEMBERSHIP PROGRAM:

https://sterlingparents.com/waitlist/

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

🤳 DOWNLOAD my free postpartum mental health checklist

🎧 LISTEN to my first interview with Dr. Sterling about the physical and emotional challenges of pregnancy and postpartum

🎧 LISTEN to an episode about using Internal Family Systems to emotionally support mothers with the creators of The Mothercentric Approach

WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT PARENTING COACHING AND INDIVIDUAL THERAPY?

👉🏻 If you're interested in exploring support options, feel free to reach out to us at Upshur Bren Psychology Group for a free 15-minute consultation so we can suggest a treatment plan for your unique needs.