Confidence + Setting Boundaries in Teen Girls, with Erica Berchtold

05/31/20 • 47 min

In today’s episode we’re speaking with The Iconic’s CEO and mother of 3, Erica Berchtold, about the role confidence plays in setting boundaries for teenage girls.

Erica shares with us insights into her own experience setting both personal and professional boundaries, and looks back on own youth to determine whether she was intentional about devising her boundaries or whether they were ‘circumstantial’.

Straight afterward, Dr Diane Harner and I dive into my favourite nine minutes of every week: her ‘9 Minutes of Neuroscience’ where we really start looking at the psychological building blocks that need to be put in place early on to empower a young girl to set, and keep, personal boundaries.

As we know, boundaries really represent our individual values and principles, and it’s essential that they are in place in order to lead lives that not only we can be proud of, but that show how much we respect ourselves.

I was especially fascinated in this episode to dig into the role that confidence plays, and how much one really needs in order to shape and stick to their boundaries, as well as look at specific strategies parents can utilise to support their daughter to do so.
00:58 Introduction

04:40 Interview: Erica Berchtold, CEO of The Iconic

34:47 About our Stronger Than You Know Course

36:10 9 Minutes of Neuroscience with Dr Diane Harner

46:19 Wrap-up

FREE RESOURCE
Diane's put together a fantastic a setting boundaries reference sheet that maps out the steps your daughter can take in order to set her own boundaries, and hold them.
ABOUT OUR SPECIAL GUEST: ERICA BERCHTOLD
Erica Berchtold is the CEO of THE ICONIC, previous Managing Director of the Sports Division at Super Retail Group, currently a director of Sydney FC Football Club and proud mum of two daughters and a son.

She’s incredibly passionate about supporting women in both business and sport, and actively mentors women within both fields. She’s also an accomplished keynote speaker who values courage, humility, resilience and curiosity.

In today’s episode we’re speaking with The Iconic’s CEO and mother of 3, Erica Berchtold, about the role confidence plays in setting boundaries for teenage girls.

04:40 Interview: Erica Berchtold, CEO of The Iconic

34:47 About our Stronger Than You Know Course

36:10 9 Minutes of Neuroscience with Dr Diane Harner

46:19 Wrap-up

Previous Episode

Confidence + Assertiveness in Teen Girls, with Katura Halleday

Assertiveness is a topic that comes up a LOT when I’m speaking with parents of girls I work with. They know their daughter has interests and passions, but when it comes to speaking up, sharing an opinion, pursuing something important to them, something often holds them back.

Some parents worry that ‘you’re either born with it, or you’re not’, and others worry that their daughter could be perceived as ‘bossy’ or unlikable if she demonstrates assertive behaviour.

Today’s episode really fleshes out both of these concerns, while covering SO MUCH MORE!

This week I had two special guests join me to flesh out the relationship between Confidence and Assertiveness: 15 year old Katura Halleday, and her mum, Kyron. Katura is one of those teenage girls you can't help but be drawn to, with a kind, inclusive and considerate personality.

Then you read through her list of incredible life achievements (see below) and think "Hold up, this girl knows exactly when to get assertive to get results!" In our discussion we cover the following, and LOADS more:

Assertiveness boils down to a decision one makes to act
The importance of considering what may go *right*, instead of wrong
The three 'C's' of Assertiveness that Katura practices, and how to apply them to any situation
Kyron's insights around how to raise assertive kids, and her role in Katura's emotional processing of rejection and failure

This week's 9 Minutes of Neuroscience with Dr Diane Harner was a piece Di and I were particularly excited to get into, as there are a number of chemical reactions kicking off within the teen girl brain that will determine whether she ‘rides the dopamine wave’ or not.

FREE RESOURCE FOR LISTENERS:

Diane's put together a fantastic Assertiveness Quick Reference sheet that maps out some really fascinating statistics and aspects of happiness that are going to be great for you to reflect on after this episode.
Also don't forget to sign up to our mailing list. You'll get a reminder of new podcast episodes each week as well as more great confidence resources and information for both yourself and your daughter!

ABOUT OUR SPECIAL GUEST: KATURA HALLEDAY:

Katura Halleday, is a 15 year old humanitarian and social justice advocate, using her voice to highlight educational equality. She is passionate about two things in life, art and the education of young women in developing countries.

In 2018 she combined the two and started a social enterprise “8x8 to Educate” donating 100% of the profits to education in Developing Nations. The organisation has four main income streams: Katura as a Keynote speaker, a book that she illustrated called Rina’s Story, an annual Art Competition and personal and company Sponsorship.

She is a 5x International Stevie Awards Winner and has been a finalist across a slew of awards including: Gold Coast Citizen of the Year 2018, the Women in Business Rising Star for 2018, and 7 News Young Achiever.

She was a Guest Speaker at the Perm International Forum for Volunteers in Russia, Australian representative for Golden Rule day, is a m

Next Episode

Confidence + Social Media for Teen Girls, with Dr Kristy Goodwin

In this episode of Raising Girl Shaped Flames we’re deep-diving into the relationship between confidence and social media for teenage girls, and I can’t stress enough how comprehensive and informative the discussion I had with Dr Kristy Goodwin was for this episode!

In this discussion we look at SO MUCH – but the highlights certainly were:

// How Kristy developed from a shy introvert to an award-winning public speaker
// The amplification of confidence challenges for girls in the current online landscape
// Social media's negative impact on sleep
// Why consuming social media at night prevents logical emotional processing
// Humans are hard-wired to imitate, increasing importance of positive content
// Zip-lock bags to take phones into the shower due to inability to disconnect
// A key design principle that is increasing social media addiction
// Opportunity Cost: What are our girls sacrificing in order to be (and stay) connected
// Kristy's '3 B's' to guide parents through this tricky landscape with their daughters

(I was not kidding about how much we got through!)
Also 2 important resources I mention in the episode:
#1: Girl Shaped Flames Connection Kit
(And you can also download our FREE "10 Strategies to Successfully Navigate Conversations With Your Daughter" resource here.)
#2: Dr Kristy Goodwin's Switched On Parents Portal
And of course, don't forget to sign up to our mailing list to be notified each time a new episode lands!
About Our Guest: Dr Kristy Goodwin
Dr Kristy Goodwin is one of Australia’s leading digital wellbeing and performance experts, and a mum who also deals with her kids’ techno-tantrums! Kristy draws on cutting-edge neuroscience and research to explain the profound impacts technology has on our performance and health and is on a mission to empower people to foster healthy and realistic digital behaviours.

Kristy worked as an educator before becoming an academic and speaker, and has worked with clients including Apple, Westfield, Bank of Queensland, and NSW Department of Education.

She’s spoken at national and international conferences, schools, workplaces and medical conferences throughout Australia and as a researcher, author, speaker and media commentator, she provides science-backed solutions to optimise wellbeing and productivity in a digital world.