Interview Your Kids

02/04/19 • 17 min

Speaker 1: What's up everybody This is Rad dad secrets, episode seven. Have you interviewed your kids
Speaker 2: So the big question is this, how do regular dads like us who weren't given a playbook on parenting will only have 24 hours in a day to make it all happen How do we provide for our families in a way that will allow us to raise happy, successful children and have a thriving marriage while still being a man and doing the things we love That is the question and this podcast will give you the answers. This is Rad dad secrets.
Speaker 3: All right everybody. I'm here and I'm here with Eric Wagner and we were talking
Speaker 1: a while ago about something that, that Eric does that I think is really cool. Then I'm going to implement it into my family. He basically. Well, you know what I'm going to let him explain what he does with his kids. Eric, go ahead. Take it away. All right, so. So here's, here's what I started doing and I had heard about it a while ago, but honestly started at the beginning of this year and it is literally one of the best things I have done as a dad. So one of the things that I'm noticing and everybody tells me is that your kids grow up really, really ridiculously fast, right And it's happening right before my eyes. I have a 13 year old, five years is going to be 18 and heading out of the house, you know, in our church, we typically serve missions between 18, 19 years old.
Speaker 1: He's going to be gone just like that. So it's happening fast. And the problem is that as your kids get older, that you start to have this gap of communication, right And I'm starting to notice it with my team where it's getting a little bit more difficult to communicate. And there's moments where I'm like, okay, aliens have abducted my child and they left somebody else in his place because this is not the same kid. Um, he's definitely still in there, but the communication is getting a little bit more difficult. And the thing I started doing is a weekly interview now these interviews, it's not so much important exactly how I do it. I think as I explained this, I want you guys, everybody's listening. I want you to get your own style. I want you to get your own flavor. You're a personality mixed with your children and figure out this, this interview style that's going to be for you.
Speaker 1: And I used the word interview, but I mean really it's a friendly chat session where where everything is safe. So I'll explain a little bit, but the purpose behind this, you want to start them young and if your kids are already old, you know what the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. When's the second best time Right now you're, you're, there's this gap, right And you want to bridge the gap of communication so that when they're teens, there is no gap. The communication is completely there. When you start doing these interviews, you're essentially, they learned that you're their friend, right And I know in the last we talked about being a parent first and you can never forget that, but it's super critical that you're also their friend and when you do these interviews, they're going to realize that you're, you're their friend, you're easy to talk to because kids don't think you're easy to talk to you.
Speaker 1: I remember growing up thinking it was really hard to talk to my parents at times, but they're going to think you're easy to talk to. It builds trust and it shows them that you truly do care, and I'm going to tell you what these interviews are not, so this is not a time to discipline or criticize your children to sit there and point out their faults and you want to make sure that they're aware that no feelings and no thoughts are off limit. Everything's fair game right There's no judgments in that room. What happens in the interview stays in the interview to build that competence, one of the important things too is to make sure that they're&

Previous Episode

Start with Why

Speaker 1: What's up everybody This is Eric and Jefferson coming at you with episode number five. Start with why and find your purpose as a dad
Speaker 2: So the big question is this, how do regular dads like us who weren't given a playbook on parenting will only have 24 hours in a day to make it all happen How do we provide for our families in a way that will allow us to raise happy, successful children and have a thriving marriage while still being a man and doing the things we love That is the question and this podcast will give you the answers. This is Rad dad secrets. Hey, every body, Jefferson harmon here. I'm here with Eric Wagner, who want to kind of go over something that's pretty important to us. Should be
Speaker 1: I'm a huge Tony Robbins guy. I listen to a podcast a while back and he was talking with this individual about having an extraordinary life is an extraordinary dad life possible for you. You know, is. How do you define that Is it different for everybody Can you achieve it What does fulfillment as a father look like to you As he was talking with this individual It basically led him to this statement that he said, you have to start with your why. The why is the key to this is is the key to success. You have to find something that you value more than yourself. It's not all about you. In fact, when you make it, when you make it about you, it does not work, so you need to find your passion. What are you passionate about What gets you going What wakes you up in the morning, and then you just want to scream like, oh my gosh, I love today.
Speaker 1: Today's going to rock. What is that If you don't have that, find somebody that does have passion. Find somebody that has passion. Surround yourself with that person and figure out like, why What, what makes them tick I think you need to model what works, right If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Success leaves clues, and so what we want to go through today is just some, some things on how to figure out what your why is. If you already have that figured out, things that you can do on a daily basis that get you waking up in the morning excited about life, excited about being a dad, excited about, about being a productive member of society. If you guys can't tell I'm. This subject gets me jacked up like I am a. my wife calls me a self-help junkie. Like I love reading and listening to stuff that helps me become a better person.
Speaker 1: Jefferson, you know what you said that I loved. Success leaves clues and you got to figure out what your why is. Find that purpose. And I took a course a couple years ago, I think I mentioned in a previous podcast, but what it did for me in six, I'm. I'm a self help junkie too. I love the stuff and what this course did for me is, is I took these clues that all this success left for me, but I had to do the work myself. Right And you, if you haven't done the work for yourself, you've got to do that. And I'm gonna tell you right now, it's not always easy to figure this stuff out, but when you dig deep, when you really dig deep and find and think, figure out what your beliefs are, figure out what your purpose as a father is because I guarantee you have one.
Speaker 1: You wouldn't be here. You wouldn't be listening to this right now if you didn't have a purpose as a father and maybe you already know it, maybe you don't, I don't know, but if you haven't written it down, you have got to get that pen to paper and take the time. Sit down and really think about what your purpose is, your personal purpose as a father to your children. What is that What does that look like and what does that mean to you To me it means it means the world, and I do have this written out. I took a ton of time. I'm not going to read through everything here, but I will tell you a few of the things that I have written down right here in front of me and a few of the things, my my purpose as a dad come

Next Episode

Use Your Trials to Make You Stronger - Interview with Dr. William Wagnon

Speaker 1: All right, what's up all your Rad dads. This is episode eight and I've got a special interview for you guys.
Speaker 2: So the big question is this, how do regular dads like us who weren't given a playbook on parenting will only have 24 hours in a day to make it all happen How do we provide for our families in a way that will allow us to raise happy, successful children and have a thriving marriage while still being a man and doing the things we love That is the question and this podcast will give you the answers. This is Rad dad secrets. All right everybody. Welcome to the podcast. I told you have a very special interview in that we do and the man that we're interviewing today happens to be a totally rad, bad and not just that
Speaker 1: he happens to be the biggest hero in my life and it's my dad and I was lucky enough and blessed to have a dad that was as amazing as him that taught me everything that guided me. Married an awesome woman, took good care of her four kids. The best part. He has a huge story because he had no example and he did this completely on his own and completely I Marvel at what he has done and it's something that I think we can all glean from his wisdom and what he has done and I want to introduce to you guys. My Dad, he's a chiropractor, inspired me to be a chiropractor. Dr William Wagnon. Welcome Dad.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 1: So let's jump right into this. So give us a brief history. Where. Where'd you come from What What made you decide to be a father Give us your story.
Speaker 3: I'll start off fairly brief through other things will pop into my head, but I grew up without a dad. Basically. My father left when I was seven years old. Never time again until I was 39 and I didn't get a Christmas card or not a word from him and so didn't know how to be a father. Really Yeah. But I did know what not to do. Yeah. You know, and after I met your mother, I know that she was absolutely gorgeous. In fact, I could take, take you to the place where I first met her and I remember she was driving a a light blue Volvo, but I knew she was beautiful. She's kind, she's sweet. As I got to know her, I realized that she'd be at it. Fantastic wife and a fantastic mother and she could help me learn what I needed to do, but she could pick up where I was faltering, which I knew there was going to be places.
Speaker 1: I've heard that story many times. I love it. I wish we can go into more detail on that, but what were you hoping. I mean, I know you, you didn't have a father to give you the example and you met my mom and she was awesome. You knew that she'd be kind of the Yin and the Yang. She'd be able to balance out in those ways, and I know you guys have worked together and I've been married 15 years now and I know it's no easy road and parenting and all that, but when you got married, what were you hoping to be able to the most as a dad and before you had kids at what Going into that What were you hoping or wanting to accomplish
Speaker 3: I wanted my children to know who their dad was, what and where he was at all times. One of them I know that I love him with all my heart and as much as I could possibly love anything,
Speaker 3: but I wasn't sure. I was kind of afraid, you know, I had some, some external struggles and trials to go through and it must, like everyone in first gets married. I was 23 year old and your mother turned 21 four days after three days after we got married. I struggle with a lot of things, you know, making money, how to support, going to school at the same time always held down a job. I have to pay the rent. Uncertainty of, you know, how to provide for me and my wife and the struggle of possibly bringing children in, which we knew we do sometime and so it was kind of a gamble on my part and not having that example, but the internal struggle that I had,
Speaker 3: