Fear and Failure

12/16/19 • 29 min

Peak Performance Habits - Jackie Ulmer

Fear and Failure

We all have thoughts around fear and failure that keep us stuck.

All fear is rooted in a past experience...

Other than the startling reflex, we are born largely fearless.

Failure is not in our vocabulary and we are confident we can become and achieve whatever we want -

Astronaut Wonder Woman

What happens to detail us from these positive beliefs?

Here is a definition of fear -

"Fear is an unpleasant emotion based on the belief that there is danger, pain or a threat that is imminent... "

Emotion won't kill you, even the most negative ones...

How will you overcome the WORST emotion you might feel?

Emotions aren’t real. The feeling feels real, but most fear is not actually happening in the present moment.

Close your eyes and imagine your life without fear. What action steps would you take? What would you do differently?

Real fears - fire, physical threat. True danger or threat and happening now.

What are your fears? Be honest, take an inventory and write them down. Get out a piece of paper and let’s journal and write out our fears.

What fears do you have in your business?

Rejection Hearing No Social Shame Haters and Trolls Failure

What is REALLY a rejection of you? What really has to do with you?

What fears do you have in your life? Relationships?

When you feel fear, ask yourself -

What is the emotion I am feeling?

Is it real? OR am I asking “what if....?”

What if it did happen? What’s the worst that could happen?

On a scale of 1-10, how does this emotion feel, with a 10 being the worst feeling.

Will this feeling, even as a 10, kill me? Can I survive it?

New Mantra

WHATEVER HAPPENS TO ME, GIVEN ANY SITUATION, I CAN HANDLE IT!

What if we make this slight shift in how we SEE and handle fear?

What if we took the time to evaluate what is really going on; what is true and not true, and, the story we make up about it?

We are going to re-educate our minds to shift from thinking that we must overcome FEAR, and realize that fear is a fact of life, and NOT a barrier to our success.

When you take a chance, and get bold, and take steps despite your fears, you begin to change the way you experience fear, and the hold that it has on you.

3 Levels of Fear

Level 1 - facts of life fears and action fears

Fact of life fears are things like aging, children leaving home, death and dying, natural disasters. They are things that happen, and are often inevitable and out of our control.

Level 2 - Action fears are those things we must take action on in order to experience - rejection, success, failure, disapproval, loss of self image.

We must DO something in order to actually experience this fear as a reality, and not just think it will happen.

Level 3 fear is one thing - I won’t be able to Handle it!

And, when you break it down, all fears come down to this ONE thing - I won’t be able to handle it!

I won’t be able to handle rejection!

I won’t be able to handle the death of a loved one!

I won’t be able to handle it if someone says something negative about me and my business.

Who knows why we stop trusting ourselves, but often we do.

Let’s just change that from here going forward.

New Mantra - Whatever happens to me, in any situation, I can handle it!

IF we wait for our fears to go away before we take action, we will never advance, because fear does not go away, necessarily.

5 Truths About Fears

Truth #1 - Some degree of Fear will never go away, even as I am growing and moving forward.

Truth #2 - The only way to get rid of the fear of something is to just go out and do it! Take action.

Truth #3 The only way to feel better about myself is to go out and do it!

Truth #4 - Not only will I experience fear whenever I do something outside of my comfort zone, so does everyone else! Discomfort is okay. In fact, it is necessary for success.

Truth #5 - Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from feeling helpless!

Shifting from Pain to Power

Fear is not the problem. How we feel and hold onto fear is.

Shift your self talk. What are you unable to do vs unwilling to do?

Change - I can’t to I won’t

Change - I should to I could

Change - it’s not my fault to I take responsibility

Change - life’s a struggle to life’s an adventure

Change - it’s terrible to it’s a learning experience

Rate each fear on a scale of 1 to 10 and work to move toward a 10 each day.

Each day, do something that you once viewed as scary, or risky. Take small baby steps and see how you feel!

Get my confidence series - ConfidenceDecoded.com

Let...

Fear and Failure

We all have thoughts around fear and failure that keep us stuck.

All fear is rooted in a past experience...

Other than the startling reflex, we are born largely fearless.

Failure is not in our vocabulary and we are confident we can become and achieve whatever we want -

Astronaut Wonder Woman

What happens to detail us from these positive beliefs?

Here is a definition of fear -

"Fear is an unpleasant emotion based on the belief that there is danger, pain or a threat that is imminent... "

Emotion won't kill you, even the most negative ones...

How will you overcome the WORST emotion you might feel?

Emotions aren’t real. The feeling feels real, but most fear is not actually happening in the present moment.

Close your eyes and imagine your life without fear. What action steps would you take? What would you do differently?

Real fears - fire, physical threat. True danger or threat and happening now.

What are your fears? Be honest, take an inventory and write them down. Get out a piece of paper and let’s journal and write out our fears.

What fears do you have in your business?

Rejection Hearing No Social Shame Haters and Trolls Failure

What is REALLY a rejection of you? What really has to do with you?

What fears do you have in your life? Relationships?

When you feel fear, ask yourself -

What is the emotion I am feeling?

Is it real? OR am I asking “what if....?”

What if it did happen? What’s the worst that could happen?

On a scale of 1-10, how does this emotion feel, with a 10 being the worst feeling.

Will this feeling, even as a 10, kill me? Can I survive it?

New Mantra

WHATEVER HAPPENS TO ME, GIVEN ANY SITUATION, I CAN HANDLE IT!

What if we make this slight shift in how we SEE and handle fear?

What if we took the time to evaluate what is really going on; what is true and not true, and, the story we make up about it?

We are going to re-educate our minds to shift from thinking that we must overcome FEAR, and realize that fear is a fact of life, and NOT a barrier to our success.

When you take a chance, and get bold, and take steps despite your fears, you begin to change the way you experience fear, and the hold that it has on you.

3 Levels of Fear

Level 1 - facts of life fears and action fears

Fact of life fears are things like aging, children leaving home, death and dying, natural disasters. They are things that happen, and are often inevitable and out of our control.

Level 2 - Action fears are those things we must take action on in order to experience - rejection, success, failure, disapproval, loss of self image.

We must DO something in order to actually experience this fear as a reality, and not just think it will happen.

Level 3 fear is one thing - I won’t be able to Handle it!

And, when you break it down, all fears come down to this ONE thing - I won’t be able to handle it!

I won’t be able to handle rejection!

I won’t be able to handle the death of a loved one!

I won’t be able to handle it if someone says something negative about me and my business.

Who knows why we stop trusting ourselves, but often we do.

Let’s just change that from here going forward.

New Mantra - Whatever happens to me, in any situation, I can handle it!

IF we wait for our fears to go away before we take action, we will never advance, because fear does not go away, necessarily.

5 Truths About Fears

Truth #1 - Some degree of Fear will never go away, even as I am growing and moving forward.

Truth #2 - The only way to get rid of the fear of something is to just go out and do it! Take action.

Truth #3 The only way to feel better about myself is to go out and do it!

Truth #4 - Not only will I experience fear whenever I do something outside of my comfort zone, so does everyone else! Discomfort is okay. In fact, it is necessary for success.

Truth #5 - Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from feeling helpless!

Shifting from Pain to Power

Fear is not the problem. How we feel and hold onto fear is.

Shift your self talk. What are you unable to do vs unwilling to do?

Change - I can’t to I won’t

Change - I should to I could

Change - it’s not my fault to I take responsibility

Change - life’s a struggle to life’s an adventure

Change - it’s terrible to it’s a learning experience

Rate each fear on a scale of 1 to 10 and work to move toward a 10 each day.

Each day, do something that you once viewed as scary, or risky. Take small baby steps and see how you feel!

Get my confidence series - ConfidenceDecoded.com

Let...

Previous Episode

Changes and Growth in Life and Business

On today’s show, I’m going to share what I’ve learned over the last 14 years of coaching others to transformation and success with confidence, business and Social Media; and where I am today.

My hope is that you will find some tools to assist you in your growth.

You’ll find the show notes at - http://348.StreetSmartWealth.me

I’m Jackie Ulmer, a business and confidence transformation coach. Entrepreneurs and Leaders coach with me to help them shift their negative thoughts around body image, comparanoia, imposter syndrome and feelings of not being good enough. We reprogram their minds and beliefs, allowing them to thrive in life and business. Social Media has done a head trip on a lot of people when it comes to comparison and measuring up.

Here are the key points we’ll cover:

Confidence and the struggles so many have

Body Image Confidence and the disruption this plays in our lives

Social Media and the toll it has taken

Mindset and Beliefs

My business focus today

Grab your favorite beverage and let’s get busy!

Next Episode

Routines, Systems and Planning for Success

Success leaves clues.

Show notes - 350.StreetSmartWealth.me

My Routines and Systems -

First, I do a thought download every day.

Set a timer for 5 minutes and just free flow write.

The power in writing it down in your handwriting vs an app or typing. The imprint in your mind and psyche is powerful.

Choose a small notebook that fits in your purse or briefcase.

Gets stuff out of your head, onto paper and releases it from you; and gives you the ability to look back; find patterns and identify what’s critical and what matters and needs your immediate attention.

From there, I create a prioritized “To Do” list and then I always know next steps.

2019 has been about change for me.

My products, programs and coaching, and cleaning up my 3 different websites.

StreetSmartWealth.com

TheConfidenceCatalyst.com

JackieUlmer.com

My JackieUlmer.com site will become more of a resume and resource page, which will guide people where they need to be.

StreetSmartWealth.com - still my favorite name and site, and my first one.

I have moved my blogging, coaching programs and future podcasts there.

And, the TheConfidenceCatalyst.com where I am coaching on confidence in business and relationships.

I have a number of business cards and funnels I use online and offline and so I really needed to get things cleaned up so I was not confusing my audience.

So, my thought download is what allowed me to just free flow write out what needed to be done; so then I could prioritize it and get busy and get it done.

The challenge many of us have is getting bogged down and over analytical with our process of developing anything, in our business; fitness; most areas.

I’ve let go of the word balance and I focus on harmony in the areas of my business.

My thought download on a daily basis allows me to create more harmony.

I use my 5 Fs in the process.

Faith

Family and Friends

Fun

Fitness

Finance

I weigh in on what needs to be done in each area of my life; and then I can create my marketing and social media content calendar based on these areas.

Makes everything so much more simplified!

I ask myself daily:

What do I want in each area of my life?

How do I want to be showing up in my faith?

How do I want to be showing up in my relationship with family and friends? With my husband? My coaching clients?

How can I make each day and all that I do fun?

Next is fitness, and fitness encompasses a lot of areas for me. Certainly Health, Wellness and Fitness; from a longevity perspective and operating at Peak Performance.

I’m fully committed to 10,000 Daily Steps as an average, as well as working out 5 times weekly with weights, sculpting and toning my body and muscles.

And, fitness in eating well, to fuel my body and not just stuff it with food.

My own version of Bulletproof Coffee, which I call Fat Blaster, Brain Booster coffee, and high quality, organic meals as much as possible.

Finance is my final area, and that is my business and all that goes into the money side of life.

In addition to the thought download, I also journal daily. This is where Gratitude; days events; goals and other things go.

Vision and clarity is such a very big part of what is needed for success.

And, Clarity is

So, my daily routines and systems from a business perspective involve 3 key areas -

Programs and Products - what do I sell? Are they created?

Marketing Efforts - how do I find and attract my tribe to me, to create sales?

Follow Up - this makes those ongoing sales.

And, consistency is key always!

Create, Market and Close Sales

What do you sell? Do you know? Are you clear and know how to communicate it?

Once you know what you sell, how are you marketing it? Online and offline?

Are you involved in Networking? BNI, the Chamber of Commerce and other areas?

Online - what are your strategies for marketing your business online and building relationships?

Create themes for your marketing plan so you know each day, week and month what you are creating content around?

You want your messaging to build a pattern of consistency in your messaging.

This leads very naturally into Authentic Selling, which I teach specifically in the Street Smart Wealth Academy.

Your messaging, when clearly laid out, is strategic and streamlined, and creates that slight edge mentality that will create top performer status for you.

So your marketing calendar will help you develop those routines and systems ahead of time so you are set up for success.

Do you have a plan? Is it clear? ...