Parenting Teens: Advice Redefined for Today's Complex World - #11 "Navigating Blended Families: A Candid Conversation on Parenting After Divorce" with Kim Elder

#11 "Navigating Blended Families: A Candid Conversation on Parenting After Divorce" with Kim Elder

12/19/23 • 52 min

Parenting Teens: Advice Redefined for Today's Complex World

#BlendedFamily #ParentingAfterDivorce #StepParenting #DivorceTrauma #CoParentingJourney #FamilySupport #TeenMindRedefined #GracefulParenting

Kim's Journey to Blended Family Life:
- Kim shares her personal journey, starting with her first marriage, divorce, and the challenges of being a single mother to her son.
- Meeting her second husband, navigating a blended family with his two teenagers, and the complexities of bringing together children ranging from 5 to 18 years old.
The Importance of Extending Grace:
- Kim emphasizes the significance of extending grace to oneself, partners, and ex-partners in blended family dynamics.
- Acknowledges the evolving nature of parenting and the commitment to supporting each other for the well-being of the children involved.
Dealing with Divorce Trauma:
- Sharing her experience of processing the trauma of her first marriage's end due to infidelity.
- Emphasizing the importance of separating personal emotions from the child's experience, focusing on providing a stable environment for her son.
Step-Parenting Challenges:
- Discussing the challenges of step-parenting and the misconception of trying to replace a child's biological parent.
- Highlighting the unique bond of love that can exist in step-parenting while respecting the child's relationship with their biological parents.
Putting Yourself in the Child's Shoes:
- Kim stresses the importance of empathizing with the child's perspective, acknowledging their feelings, and not trying to erase their hopes of their parents reuniting.
- Sharing a personal experience of guiding her stepdaughter through the realization that she is not a replacement for her biological mother.
Understanding Kids Acting Out:
- Exploring the concept that children may act out more with the parent they feel safest with, as a way of expressing their emotions freely.
- Highlighting the need for parents to provide a secure space where children can express themselves without fear of rejection.

Understanding Behavioral Patterns:

Kim Elder emphasizes the difficulty of breaking learned behaviors and patterns in older kids.

Creating a Safe Space for Expression:

The hosts discuss the importance of recognizing when kids express themselves and the significance of providing a safe environment for them to do so.

Dealing with Loyalty Issues:

Cheryl reflects on the impact of divorce on her relationship with her son, noting the intense loyalty he felt towards his dad. The hosts explore the challenges of managing different parenting styles post-divorce.

Regrets About Delaying Therapy:

Cheryl expresses regret about not seeking therapy for her kids earlier in the divorce process. Kim shares her perspective on the timing of therapy and the importance of giving children the option to seek it when needed.

Adjusting Parenting Styles in Blended Families:

Kim talks about adapting her parenting style when step-parenting and navigating the dynamics with her ex-husband's new partner. The hosts emphasize the importance of being flexible and choosing battles wisely.

Navigating Disciplinary Roles:

Cheryl and Kim discuss the challenges of refraining from disciplining stepchildren and the significance of maintaining a united front. They highlight the need to communicate effectively with partners about parenting decisions.

I am so grateful for you taking your time to listen and I would love your input, feedback , suggestions for topics. We are in this together.

https://www.instagram.com/cheryl.a.pankhurst/

https://www.facebook.com/cheryl.a.pankhurst/

[email protected]

Free Resources link below

https://cherylpankhurst.aweb.page

Editing credit Gabbi Greco

#BlendedFamily #ParentingAfterDivorce #StepParenting #DivorceTrauma #CoParentingJourney #FamilySupport #TeenMindRedefined #GracefulParenting

Kim's Journey to Blended Family Life:
- Kim shares her personal journey, starting with her first marriage, divorce, and the challenges of being a single mother to her son.
- Meeting her second husband, navigating a blended family with his two teenagers, and the complexities of bringing together children ranging from 5 to 18 years old.
The Importance of Extending Grace:
- Kim emphasizes the significance of extending grace to oneself, partners, and ex-partners in blended family dynamics.
- Acknowledges the evolving nature of parenting and the commitment to supporting each other for the well-being of the children involved.
Dealing with Divorce Trauma:
- Sharing her experience of processing the trauma of her first marriage's end due to infidelity.
- Emphasizing the importance of separating personal emotions from the child's experience, focusing on providing a stable environment for her son.
Step-Parenting Challenges:
- Discussing the challenges of step-parenting and the misconception of trying to replace a child's biological parent.
- Highlighting the unique bond of love that can exist in step-parenting while respecting the child's relationship with their biological parents.
Putting Yourself in the Child's Shoes:
- Kim stresses the importance of empathizing with the child's perspective, acknowledging their feelings, and not trying to erase their hopes of their parents reuniting.
- Sharing a personal experience of guiding her stepdaughter through the realization that she is not a replacement for her biological mother.
Understanding Kids Acting Out:
- Exploring the concept that children may act out more with the parent they feel safest with, as a way of expressing their emotions freely.
- Highlighting the need for parents to provide a secure space where children can express themselves without fear of rejection.

Understanding Behavioral Patterns:

Kim Elder emphasizes the difficulty of breaking learned behaviors and patterns in older kids.

Creating a Safe Space for Expression:

The hosts discuss the importance of recognizing when kids express themselves and the significance of providing a safe environment for them to do so.

Dealing with Loyalty Issues:

Cheryl reflects on the impact of divorce on her relationship with her son, noting the intense loyalty he felt towards his dad. The hosts explore the challenges of managing different parenting styles post-divorce.

Regrets About Delaying Therapy:

Cheryl expresses regret about not seeking therapy for her kids earlier in the divorce process. Kim shares her perspective on the timing of therapy and the importance of giving children the option to seek it when needed.

Adjusting Parenting Styles in Blended Families:

Kim talks about adapting her parenting style when step-parenting and navigating the dynamics with her ex-husband's new partner. The hosts emphasize the importance of being flexible and choosing battles wisely.

Navigating Disciplinary Roles:

Cheryl and Kim discuss the challenges of refraining from disciplining stepchildren and the significance of maintaining a united front. They highlight the need to communicate effectively with partners about parenting decisions.

I am so grateful for you taking your time to listen and I would love your input, feedback , suggestions for topics. We are in this together.

https://www.instagram.com/cheryl.a.pankhurst/

https://www.facebook.com/cheryl.a.pankhurst/

[email protected]

Free Resources link below

https://cherylpankhurst.aweb.page

Editing credit Gabbi Greco

Previous Episode

#10 "Empowering Families: Overcoming School System Challenges with Mindful Parenting" With Guests Marci Mitchell & Debbie DiManno

#RisingStrong, #CoreExperience, #CoreTraining, #EFT, #HeartBrainCoherence, #Meditation, #Journaling, #Grounding, #SocialEmotionalLearning, #Mindfulness, #Parenting, #Teenagers, #MentalHealth.

In this episode, hosts Debbie DiManno, Marci Mitchell share their journey from a book club to founding the non-profit organization, #CoreExperience.

The trio's commitment to making a positive impact on teens, parents, and communities through #CoreTraining.

Reminiscing about the book that brought them together, Brene Brown's "Rising Strong," in 2015.

The birth of Core Training after realizing the need to translate discussions into action.

The evolution into the non-profit, Core Experience, in 2019.

Shifting from live workshops to a digital platform due to COVID-19 challenges.

Marci Mitchell details core tools: #EFT, heart-brain coherence, meditation, journaling, and grounding.

Empowering individuals to recenter and respond effectively to life's challenges.

Cheryl Pankhurst emphasizes the importance of instilling mindfulness in teenagers.

Advocating for the incorporation of #SocialEmotionalLearning (SEL) in schools from an early age.

Personal experiences with mental health struggles among teenagers.

Urgency in addressing mental health issues in schools and communities.

A powerful message about the impact of SEL skills and the significance of parental involvement.

Debbie DiManno's Background: Medical sales, unconventional problem-solving in the school system.
Cheryl Pankhurst's Perspective: Community-building, disrupting norms, award-winning educational disruptors.

Podcast Concept:

Focus on building communities for information dissemination.
Global recognition as educational disruptors, an award for challenging norms.

Evolution to Core Experience:

Transition from #CoreTraining to #CoreExperience, adapting to digital platforms.
Addressing pandemic challenges through the non-profit organization.

Core Tools for Well-being:

Exploration of tools like #EFT, heart-brain coherence, meditation, journaling, and grounding.
Empowering teenagers, parents, and communities to be effective problem solvers.

Mindfulness and SEL:

Significance of mindfulness and #SocialEmotionalLearning (SEL) in school systems.
Advocacy for SEL integration for emotional intelligence and resilience.

Personal Experiences:

Candid discussion on teenagers' mental health struggles.
Urgency in addressing mental health challenges within schools and communities.

Parental Involvement:

Cheryl Pankhurst emphasizes instilling mindfulness in teenagers as a crucial life skill.
Importance of parental involvement in children's mental well-being.

Advocacy and Conflict Resolution:

Advocacy for SEL practices in schools for a healthier learning environment.
The power of the #pause in parenting and conflict resolution.

Success Stories:

Debbie's daughter's transformative journey using heart-brain coherence after a severe accident.
Positive impact on Debbie's daughter's friends who carry these tools into adulthood.

Additional Topic: Navigating Gender Identity:

Cheryl Pankhurst's personal experience with a queer daughter.
Advocacy for respecting children's choices in gender identity and fostering open communication.

Conclusion:

Shift towards mindful practices and life skill development for teenagers.
Urgent need for addressing mental health issues within schools and communities.

Where to find Debbie and Marci

courexperience.org

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-warrior-parent-podcast/id1690477268

I am so grateful for you taking your time to listen and I would love your input, feedback , suggestions for topics. We are in this together.

https://www.instagram.com/cheryl.a.pankhurst/

https://www.facebook.com/cheryl.a.pankhurst/

[email protected]

Free Resources

https://cherylpankhurst.aweb.page

Editing credit Gabbi Greco

Next Episode

#12 "Unlocking Change: Insights on Self-Awareness and ADHD Management in Teens" with Stefan Glazer

From Chaos to Clarity: Tools for Parenting Neurodivergent Teens with ADHD
Introduction:
- Stefan Glazer's journey of discovering severe inattentive ADHD at age 39.
- Emphasis on the importance of tools for managing neurodivergent challenges.
Neurodivergent Tools:
- Safety nets, backup systems, and habit-building techniques for effective management.
- Challenges faced when approaching meditation and mindfulness.
- Value of therapeutic conversations in overcoming neurodivergent struggles.
Navigating Neurodivergence Book:
- Glazer's book as a personal guide and insight into his experiences.
- A resource for those facing similar neurodivergent challenges.
Broadening the Audience:
- Cheryl Pankhurst acknowledges the need to expand the podcast's audience beyond neurodiverse teenagers.
- Recognizing that everyone faces struggles, whether diagnosed or not.
Unique Challenges for Women:
- Discussion on challenges faced by neurodivergent women, including masking behaviors and societal expectations.
Shiny Object Syndrome:
- Exploration of the common trait among neurodivergent individuals.
- Positive and negative aspects of Shiny Object Syndrome.
- Glazer's personal experiences and its potential as a "cheat code" to find passion.
Embracing Unique Strengths:
- Encouragement for individuals to embrace their unique strengths and find their "thing."
- Real-world examples, including Glazer's journey into pet photography.
Writing the Book:
- Central focus on Glazer's book-writing process.
- Tips for neurodivergent writers, such as limiting distractions and creating a conducive environment.
Importance of Self-Acceptance:
- Glazer emphasizes self-acceptance, acknowledging the variability in daily productivity.
- Avoiding self-criticism on days with no writing.
Communication Strategies:
- Stefan Glazer highlights the importance of clarifying communication to avoid personal attacks.
- Strategies to calm situations and make conversations more productive.
Self-Awareness and Change:
- Discussion on the 'change game' inspired by Joe Dispenza's work.
- Emphasis on self-awareness and the ability to change reactions and behaviors over time.
Parenting Insights:
- Cheryl Pankhurst relates communication strategies to parenting, especially with teenagers.
- Significance of not taking things personally and understanding the child's perspective.
Inner Dialogue and Mental Health:
- Glazer discusses the internal struggle with thoughts and the importance of managing inner dialogue for mental well-being.
Medication and ADHD:
- Shift to the use of medication in managing ADHD.
- Acknowledgment of medication benefits, particularly for young people struggling with focus and social interactions.
#CommunicationStrategies
#SelfAwareness
#ParentingTeens
#InnerDialogue
#ADHDMedication
#Neurodivergence
#ADHD
#MentalHealth
#ShinyObjectSyndrome
#WritingProcess
#SelfAcceptance
#Mindfulness
#UniqueStrengths
#NavigatingChallenges
I am so grateful for you taking your time to listen and I would love your input, feedback , suggestions for topics. We are in this together. https://www.instagram.com/cheryl.a.pankhurst/ https://www.facebook.com/cheryl.a.pankhurst/ [email protected] Free Resources link below https://cherylpankhurst.aweb.page Editing credit Gabbi Greco