59: Divorce: Marriage problems; how to talk to a teenager about what’s happening.
10/11/23 • 37 min
Deciding to split can be an incredibly challenging time for any married couple, but knowing the impact it can have on our kids can make it even harder to navigate the complex untangling of a life together.
We were asked by one listener to talk about it, because she has a family member who's planning to divorce once their teen has finished their main exams, but keeping it quiet in the meantime. It's a tricky question; do we stay together for the kids, when do we tell them, and how?
In this episode we talk about a news article that claims teenagers are the ultimate marriage wrecker, the impact on teens who live with parents in an unhappy marriage, and whether they are better or worse off than those in a single parent family.
We talk about the best way to tell your teen you are splitting, an innovative way of dealing with it called nesting, which allows the kids to stay at home whilst the parents move in and out, and the new apps that can ease the burden of communication.
Whatever path you choose, one of the best bits of advice I always give divorcing couples, is to try and choose a legal service that's trained in reconciliation to reduce the fighting, and cost, of going through such a difficult process.
THINGS THAT MIGHT HELP:
A few apps; but there are many out there:
- https://supportpay.com/
- https://www.cozi.com/
- https://www.custodyxchange.com/
- https://www.onwardapp.com/
www.separatespace.co.uk Legal and mental health professionals who specialize in divorce.
www.restoredlives.org online courses for people going through break-ups
https://raisingchildren.net.au/grown-ups/family-diversity/parenting-after-separation-divorce/helping-teens-adjust-separation#:~:text=If%20you%20and%20your%20partner%20separate%2C%20the%20ups%20and%20downs,not%20coping%20with%20the%20transition.
https://www.custodyxchange.com/topics/divorce/worst-divorce-age.php#:~:text=The%20school%2Daged%20years%20are,feel%20like%20a%20personal%20attack.
https://evolvetreatment.com/blog/divorce-impact-adolescents/#:~:text=Effects%20of%20Divorce%20on%20Children&text=During%20and%20after%20the%20separ
Thank you so much for your support.
Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.
I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.
My email is [email protected]
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/
Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:
www.amindful-life.co.uk
Deciding to split can be an incredibly challenging time for any married couple, but knowing the impact it can have on our kids can make it even harder to navigate the complex untangling of a life together.
We were asked by one listener to talk about it, because she has a family member who's planning to divorce once their teen has finished their main exams, but keeping it quiet in the meantime. It's a tricky question; do we stay together for the kids, when do we tell them, and how?
In this episode we talk about a news article that claims teenagers are the ultimate marriage wrecker, the impact on teens who live with parents in an unhappy marriage, and whether they are better or worse off than those in a single parent family.
We talk about the best way to tell your teen you are splitting, an innovative way of dealing with it called nesting, which allows the kids to stay at home whilst the parents move in and out, and the new apps that can ease the burden of communication.
Whatever path you choose, one of the best bits of advice I always give divorcing couples, is to try and choose a legal service that's trained in reconciliation to reduce the fighting, and cost, of going through such a difficult process.
THINGS THAT MIGHT HELP:
A few apps; but there are many out there:
- https://supportpay.com/
- https://www.cozi.com/
- https://www.custodyxchange.com/
- https://www.onwardapp.com/
www.separatespace.co.uk Legal and mental health professionals who specialize in divorce.
www.restoredlives.org online courses for people going through break-ups
https://raisingchildren.net.au/grown-ups/family-diversity/parenting-after-separation-divorce/helping-teens-adjust-separation#:~:text=If%20you%20and%20your%20partner%20separate%2C%20the%20ups%20and%20downs,not%20coping%20with%20the%20transition.
https://www.custodyxchange.com/topics/divorce/worst-divorce-age.php#:~:text=The%20school%2Daged%20years%20are,feel%20like%20a%20personal%20attack.
https://evolvetreatment.com/blog/divorce-impact-adolescents/#:~:text=Effects%20of%20Divorce%20on%20Children&text=During%20and%20after%20the%20separ
Thank you so much for your support.
Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.
I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.
My email is [email protected]
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/
Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:
www.amindful-life.co.uk
Previous Episode
58: Teen dating. Talking about relationships or 'help, my son's come home with a hickey!'
Stacy messaged to tell us that her son had come home with a hickey for a second time, and she wasn't sure whether her reaction was the right one. My goodness, parenting can be hard.
Remember when you had your very first date? The butterflies, the nervous laughter, and the constant fear of saying the wrong thing? Now imagine your teen going through the same rollercoaster of emotions.
In our latest podcast, we take a look at the words being used for dating, what teens are getting out of it; which is a lot of personal growth, excitement, and status.
Don't miss the top tips on how to be the best parent possible to a teen who's started dating.
RESOURCES:
https://srcd.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/cdev.12930
https://www.taylorfrancis.com/books/mono/10.4324/9781315102023/gender-linda-lindsey
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1532-7795.2011.00737.x
https://www.onlinedivorce.com/blog/percentage-of-high-school-relationships-that-last/
https://www.newportacademy.com/resources/empowering-teens/teenage-love/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7557791/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/living-single/201710/teen-dating-and-sex-hit-record-lows-recent-decades
https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/love/is-teen-love-real-can-it-last/
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/230230368_The_Salience_of_Adolescent_Romantic_Experiences_for_Romantic_Relationship_Qualities_in_Young_Adulthood
https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/teenagers-love
https://study.com/academy/lesson/teen-relationships-psychology.html
https://quizlet.com/66713147/adolescence-emerging-adulthood-ch-9-love-and-sexuality-flash-cards/#
https://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2017/love-actually-science-behind-lust-attraction-companionship/#:~:text=According%20to%20a%20team%20of,lust%2C%20attraction%2C%20and%20attachment.
https://www.bodyandsoul.com.au/relationships/what-is-three-love-theory-and-how-could-it-change-your-relationships/news-story/fe088627a70e02b
Thank you so much for your support.
Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.
I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.
My email is [email protected]
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/
Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:
www.amindful-life.co.uk
Next Episode
60: Triggers and emotional spirals, also mobile phone bans and do schools know what to teach kids anymore?
In most episodes Rachel uses her journalistic background to trawl through studies and find out what a range of experts think about a topic. Susie brings her wealth of knowledge and experience of mindfulness and parenting to the microphone. Together, the two of us talk about the reality of parenting.
We're going to continue with that, but thought it might be nice to broaden the format to talk about current affairs topics, and how they affect us and our listeners.
In this episode we chat about the latest in teen slang; which can be hilarious. We also discuss the banning of mobile phones in schools, why it's happening, why it hasn't happened before, and what the benefits and issues are that surround it.
Also, we talk about exams. With the shift towards AI, is our education system really offering our teens what they need to equip themselves for being an adult? Are the subjects we study, and the way in which they are studied, still fit for purpose? Given that we can't get rid of AI, should we be incorporating it into the school curriculum?
We don't promise answers, but we're very keen to think about it, because these issues directly affect our teens.
We really enjoyed making this episode. What do you think? Shall we do it more regularly, or do prefer the research episodes? Would you like to hear more interviews? We're here for you (and to learn for our own sakes.)
CHAPTERS:
2:01 Teen lingo
7:10 Reviews
9:07 The things that trigger us are an opportunity to know ourselves better.
12:32 Getting stuck in an emotional spiral.
15:57 Mobile phone ban in schools
Thank you so much for your support.
Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.
I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.
My email is [email protected]
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/
Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:
www.amindful-life.co.uk
Parenting teenagers untangled. 🏆 The audio hug for parents of teens and tweens. - 59: Divorce: Marriage problems; how to talk to a teenager about what’s happening.
Transcript
Hello and welcome to Teenagers Untangled , the audio hug for parents going through the teenage years . I'm Rachel Richards parenting coach , mother of two teenagers and two bonus daughters .
Susie AsliHi there , I'm Suzie Azli , mindfulness coach , mindful therapist and musician , and mother of three teenagers , two of them are twins .
RIf you like this episode you’ll love
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