127. Life with Herpes with Alexandra Harbushka
08/15/22 • 37 min
We have an awesome guest on this podcast today! We have talked about this topic before, with Coutney Brame where he took us through his herpes journey and gave us a lot of guidance around all the things. Alexandra reached out to me recently and asked if she could share some more light around this topic.
Alexandra’s life was sent into upheaval when she received a call from her doctor diagnosing her with herpes. She was left scared shitless and with a new mission; to share her story with people just like her, and to let them know that their feelings were normal, natural, and that they were not victims. With that mission in mind she founded Life With Herpes, an online community consisting of a podcast, website, YouTube channel, wellness products to support the skin condition and and online community that provides support, all dedicated to shattering the stigma of living life with herpes.
You hear all the time if you’re careful, you’re not going to get an STI, but sometimes that’s just not the case. Herpes spreads from skin to skin contact, and that is what we do as humans. It’s just part of living, it really doesn’t have anything to do with being careful. It’s common that people don’t even know they have herpes, so the only way to completely avoid it is to make sure you and your partner test before having any sexual contact.
What are the different types of herpes?
There are two types.
Type 1 or HSV1 is most commonly known as oral herpes, cold sores, fever blisters. 2 out of 3 people have this virus, and it most commonly like the oral region, but that doesn’t mean it stays oral, it can move to the genitals.
Type 2 or HSV2 is most commonly known as genital herpes. 1 out of 6 people have HSV2 and it most commonly likes the genital region, but it can move to the oral region.
Getting Tested
They don’t test for it on the regular panel, so you have to ask for it. They don’t have it on the regular panel because so many people have it, and it’s not life threatening. So the aftermath of learning you have herpes ban be far more severe than someone who’s asymptomatic. 90% of people who have HSV2 will never be diagnosed. The majority of people are asymptomatic which means you have the antibodies, you can spread it because of asymptomatic shedding, but you’ve never had an outbreak. There can also be people who have so few and far between breakouts, or breakouts that don’t look or seem like blisters, or blisters that aren’t on the vagina or penis.
Life With Herpes
"I was floundering, I was struggling. There’s no reason to be that, and there’s no reason to feel alone. All the feelings that we feel are very valid. And there’s a way out of it, there’s a way to live with it, and there’s a way through that herpes journey. It was very important to provide information that wasn’t sterile. Making a community that embraced this over ostracizing it. It’s confidential, secret, and to become a friendship. There’s been people who have dated in the community, and there are people from all over the world. We all have our unique story, but the topic is the same thing. Let’s detach ourselves from that stigma and continue living your beautiful life. " - Alexandra
Be compassionate, be understanding, and don’t judge somebody. You don’t know what they’re dealing with.
Connect with Alexandra!
Website: Life With HerpesInstagram & Toktok: @alexandraharbushka
Youtube: Alexandra Harbushka
Co
Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: [email protected]
We have an awesome guest on this podcast today! We have talked about this topic before, with Coutney Brame where he took us through his herpes journey and gave us a lot of guidance around all the things. Alexandra reached out to me recently and asked if she could share some more light around this topic.
Alexandra’s life was sent into upheaval when she received a call from her doctor diagnosing her with herpes. She was left scared shitless and with a new mission; to share her story with people just like her, and to let them know that their feelings were normal, natural, and that they were not victims. With that mission in mind she founded Life With Herpes, an online community consisting of a podcast, website, YouTube channel, wellness products to support the skin condition and and online community that provides support, all dedicated to shattering the stigma of living life with herpes.
You hear all the time if you’re careful, you’re not going to get an STI, but sometimes that’s just not the case. Herpes spreads from skin to skin contact, and that is what we do as humans. It’s just part of living, it really doesn’t have anything to do with being careful. It’s common that people don’t even know they have herpes, so the only way to completely avoid it is to make sure you and your partner test before having any sexual contact.
What are the different types of herpes?
There are two types.
Type 1 or HSV1 is most commonly known as oral herpes, cold sores, fever blisters. 2 out of 3 people have this virus, and it most commonly like the oral region, but that doesn’t mean it stays oral, it can move to the genitals.
Type 2 or HSV2 is most commonly known as genital herpes. 1 out of 6 people have HSV2 and it most commonly likes the genital region, but it can move to the oral region.
Getting Tested
They don’t test for it on the regular panel, so you have to ask for it. They don’t have it on the regular panel because so many people have it, and it’s not life threatening. So the aftermath of learning you have herpes ban be far more severe than someone who’s asymptomatic. 90% of people who have HSV2 will never be diagnosed. The majority of people are asymptomatic which means you have the antibodies, you can spread it because of asymptomatic shedding, but you’ve never had an outbreak. There can also be people who have so few and far between breakouts, or breakouts that don’t look or seem like blisters, or blisters that aren’t on the vagina or penis.
Life With Herpes
"I was floundering, I was struggling. There’s no reason to be that, and there’s no reason to feel alone. All the feelings that we feel are very valid. And there’s a way out of it, there’s a way to live with it, and there’s a way through that herpes journey. It was very important to provide information that wasn’t sterile. Making a community that embraced this over ostracizing it. It’s confidential, secret, and to become a friendship. There’s been people who have dated in the community, and there are people from all over the world. We all have our unique story, but the topic is the same thing. Let’s detach ourselves from that stigma and continue living your beautiful life. " - Alexandra
Be compassionate, be understanding, and don’t judge somebody. You don’t know what they’re dealing with.
Connect with Alexandra!
Website: Life With HerpesInstagram & Toktok: @alexandraharbushka
Youtube: Alexandra Harbushka
Co
Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: [email protected]
Previous Episode
126. Create Your Sex Timeline
This is going to be a bit of a mini episode this week! I’m wanting to share with you all a new offer that I have coming as well as a tool I’ve been using in my coaching for quite some time now. Creating Your Sex Timeline is actually a tool that I learned when I was going through my certificate program for sex therapy and sex education.
What do you remember about the very first time you had sex?
I’m willing to bet that your answer to this is likely the same exact way that you’re having sex now. Most people aren’t willing to take the time or do the work to expand what sex means to them and what their sex life looks like. But I'm also willing to bet that because you're listening to this episode now, that means you're probably the people that The Sex Timeline is meant for.
In working with clients in the last few months, a common theme is coming up around the sex timeline and how much clarity, understanding and validation it gives to the people that are going through this. I’ve also been thinking more on this and how much I love seeing the growth from the people who go have used this tool.
Who will this tool be good for?
Someone who wants to dip their toes a bit into sex therapy, who maybe aren’t ready to do a deep dive for whatever reason you might have.
Someone who is experiencing something in your current sex life that just isn’t lining up and it just isn’t what you want it to be.
Maybe you’re feeling shame or guilt around taking on pleasure for yourself.
You can hear the voices of people who were there for guidance when you were growing up in your head telling you that sex or pleasure is bad, or that you shouldn’t touch yourself, or that you should wait until marriage to have sex.
You’re struggling to achieve an orgasm, to connect with your partner, or with erectile dysfunction.
All these things that we’ve heard as young adults, they all play a part in who we are as a sexual person you are today. The sex timeline can uncover so much for people and can allow you to connect the dots into what is going on in your sex life right now.
Where can I get the Sex Timeline Guide and What's in it?
This tool is available on my website, and is really the short and sweet, quick and easy segue into what sex coaching could look like.
When you purchase this from my website, it’s going to walk you through some journal prompts based on the things you we’re told about sex growing up. Then it will move into things like what you remember from the first and the last time you had sex. The more detail you can go into this, the better, when you’re doing this if a story pops into your mind I’m really inviting you to journal on this.
When you get to the second portion of this where you send me your timeline, it’s really going to help me have so much more insight and give you even deeper clarity on what is happening now in your sex life.
Not only will you get the Sex Timeline Guide, you’ll get 1 week of Voxer.
Voxer is an encrypted app where we can send texts and voice notes that is going to allow me to pull back the layers of your sex timeline and offer you clarity and give you guidance and solutions to the things you want to change in your sex life.
This is truly going to give you so much insight, but really is quick and easy. The cost of this is $111 for both the Creating your Sex Timeline Guide and the 1 week of Voxer support with me. If you still want more, there will be an option to add on a zoom call or even start one on one coaching.
Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: [email protected]
Next Episode
128. How & Why to Use a Yoni Egg
I am so pumped to talk to you about the Yoni Egg practice. I got into this more spiritual side of sexual health to help strengthen my own business as a sex coach and sex therapist and to really expand my knowledge. But the personal growth I got out of this experience was honestly unexpected.
If you have not gone to chakrubs.com, you need to. It’s where I got my rose quartz wand and my clear quartz Yoni Egg. I got a guide with my Yoni Egg, and that’s what I’ll be using as my resource for this episode. It really helped me connect correctly, deeply, and intimately with my Yoni Egg, and without it I would just be lost!
If you’re listening to this and thinking “What the hell is a Yoni?”
The word Yoni translates to womb or sacred temple in Sanskrit. Your Yoni egg represents a new method for strengthening your womb connection and links you to ancient wisdom through a practice that has been passed down for millennia. Honor this history and know you can connect to this erotic intelligence at any time.
On a spiritual level, a regular Yoni egg practice can help you come into greater understanding of you inner workings, release shame and trauma stored in the womb and restore emotional balance.
On a physical level a regular Yoni Egg practice can help you strengthen your pelvic floor muscles, to enhance sexual pleasure help you achieve orgasms more easily, recover from childbirth and improve urinary incontinence.
The shape of the egg is a universal symbol of new life and growth, it represents the source from which we have all emerged, it is a seed of manifestation from which anything can be born, as you meet your Yoni egg for the first time think about what it is hatching within you and acknowledge your being as the sacred temple that it is. Yes, you are the sacred temple.
One thing you should know first is that when you go to order a Yoni Egg, it’s going to ask you if you want it drilled or not drilled.
Drilled means that there will be a very tiny hole drilled at the top, thinner part of the egg, and that is there so that you can actually insert a string through the egg. I recommend getting a drilled egg if you’re someone who is not used to doing pelvic floor exercises or if you’re someone who has a fear of something getting stuck up in you.
What do you do when your first get your Yoni Egg?
After cleaning it. I would also recommend really doing some intentionality around it. What was the meaning behind you purchasing this Egg? Why do you want this in your life? What prompted this purchase in the first place? Why did you choose the crystal that you chose? What is going on at this point in your life that you decided you needed a Yoni Egg?
You can also ask yourself what were your initial thoughts upon first seeing your egg? What was the energy of your Yoni Egg? What did you feel when you were opening your egg for the first time?
After your first experience, I invite you to journal it out. Ask yourself what were the feelings around this and spending some time really looking into the symbolization.
You don’t need to do this just as a self pleasure practice. If you’re wanting to use it like this with journaling, intention setting, and gratitude and meditation around it, I think that is going to serve you in such a helpful way. On the other hand, wearing this Yoni Egg around going on with your normal day, you’re going to see the benefits and effects as well.
Resources
Sexual Confidence Academy
Connect with Rachel!
Instagram: @The_Rachel_Maine
Website: https://linktr.ee/WellnessSexpertise
YouTube: YouTube.com/@OwningYourSexualSelf
Facebook: Rachel Maine
Email: [email protected]
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