I'm Pissed Off! Don’t Tell Me to Calm Down! (Episode 81)
03/11/25 • 25 min
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Dr. Ed Daube, senior psychologist with 32 years of experience at the California Youth Authority, joins us for an eye-opening conversation about the true nature of emotions and how to master them. Drawing from decades of clinical expertise, Dr. Daube dismantles the common myth that emotions control us, revealing instead how we can strategically work with our emotional responses.
The emotions cycle begins with our brain's constant scanning for threats—a hardwired survival mechanism. When the amygdala perceives danger, it triggers physical responses before we're even consciously aware of feeling anything. But unlike our cave-dwelling ancestors who faced primarily physical dangers, most modern threats are psychological. This is where mastery becomes possible: by physically stepping back and taking a deep breath, we create space to assess whether the perceived threat is real before choosing our response.
Dr. Daube makes a fascinating distinction between anger's validity and justification. Our anger is always valid because it reflects our perception, but it may not be justified if based on misunderstanding. He explores the spectrum from mild annoyance to full rage, noting how our capacity for rational choice diminishes as intensity increases. Particularly illuminating is his research on women's anger, revealing how society often forces women to find indirect ways to express and address legitimate grievances without facing labels like "difficult" or "emotional."
For teenagers struggling with anger management, Dr. Daube offers practical wisdom: if your anger creates more problems than it solves, it's time to step back and examine what perceived threats are triggering your reactions. The key insight? Nothing outside ourselves "makes" us angry—our perception creates the emotional response, putting the power and responsibility for emotional mastery squarely in our hands.
Ready to transform your relationship with anger? Visit emotionsdoctor.com or check out Dr. Dalby's book "Beyond Anger Management: Master Your Anger as a Strategic Tool" on Amazon to continue your journey toward emotional intelligence.
To learn more about Dr. Ed Daube, please click on the link below.
If you are hearing impaired, have data limitations, or connectivity challenges, we made a Podcast Blog just for you!
To learn more about what I do besides podcasting, please visit https://www.FatimaBey.world
If you have any comments, topic suggestions, or would like to be a guest on the show, please go to:
https://www.MindShiftPowerPodcast.world
Follow me on social media
https://smartlink.metricool.com/public/smartlink/fatimabeythemindshifter
Subscribe to my YouTube channel, where you will find 200+ videos of my words of wisdom and life lessons.
https://www.youtube.com/@TheMindShifter
Thank you for listening.
Send an anonymous text message
Dr. Ed Daube, senior psychologist with 32 years of experience at the California Youth Authority, joins us for an eye-opening conversation about the true nature of emotions and how to master them. Drawing from decades of clinical expertise, Dr. Daube dismantles the common myth that emotions control us, revealing instead how we can strategically work with our emotional responses.
The emotions cycle begins with our brain's constant scanning for threats—a hardwired survival mechanism. When the amygdala perceives danger, it triggers physical responses before we're even consciously aware of feeling anything. But unlike our cave-dwelling ancestors who faced primarily physical dangers, most modern threats are psychological. This is where mastery becomes possible: by physically stepping back and taking a deep breath, we create space to assess whether the perceived threat is real before choosing our response.
Dr. Daube makes a fascinating distinction between anger's validity and justification. Our anger is always valid because it reflects our perception, but it may not be justified if based on misunderstanding. He explores the spectrum from mild annoyance to full rage, noting how our capacity for rational choice diminishes as intensity increases. Particularly illuminating is his research on women's anger, revealing how society often forces women to find indirect ways to express and address legitimate grievances without facing labels like "difficult" or "emotional."
For teenagers struggling with anger management, Dr. Daube offers practical wisdom: if your anger creates more problems than it solves, it's time to step back and examine what perceived threats are triggering your reactions. The key insight? Nothing outside ourselves "makes" us angry—our perception creates the emotional response, putting the power and responsibility for emotional mastery squarely in our hands.
Ready to transform your relationship with anger? Visit emotionsdoctor.com or check out Dr. Dalby's book "Beyond Anger Management: Master Your Anger as a Strategic Tool" on Amazon to continue your journey toward emotional intelligence.
To learn more about Dr. Ed Daube, please click on the link below.
If you are hearing impaired, have data limitations, or connectivity challenges, we made a Podcast Blog just for you!
To learn more about what I do besides podcasting, please visit https://www.FatimaBey.world
If you have any comments, topic suggestions, or would like to be a guest on the show, please go to:
https://www.MindShiftPowerPodcast.world
Follow me on social media
https://smartlink.metricool.com/public/smartlink/fatimabeythemindshifter
Subscribe to my YouTube channel, where you will find 200+ videos of my words of wisdom and life lessons.
https://www.youtube.com/@TheMindShifter
Thank you for listening.
Previous Episode
Accusing Youth of Greatness: Dermell Brunson's Arts Revolution (Episode 80)
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In this thought-provoking episode, we welcome Dermel Brunson, founder of the Leaders of Tomorrow Youth Center (LTYC) in Baltimore, who is dedicated to transforming the lives of young people through the arts. We dive into the crucial role that arts education plays in building self-esteem, confidence, and leadership skills among youth. Dermel shares the inspirational mission of LTYC, specifically aimed at filling gaps where traditional resources fall short in supporting young individuals who yearn for guidance and encouragement.
During our conversation, Dermel discusses the benefits of engaging in diverse artistic pursuits, illuminating how these experiences foster not only creativity but vital life skills that set the foundation for successful futures. We explore the success stories of LTYC alumni, showcasing how the staircase of achievements leads to impressive opportunities, giving young artists visibility and pathways to their dreams.
Moreover, we tackle pertinent issues regarding community involvement and the importance of nurturing youngsters in a supportive environment, while also addressing concerns regarding the role of technology in artistic expression. By creating a familial network of support, every young person can know their worth and potential through mentorship and encouragement.
As we wrap up, we encourage listeners to consider how they can impact their communities by utilizing their passions to uplift the youth around them. Join us on this enriching journey toward empowering the next generation, and let’s create a future full of inspiration, creativity, and success together! Don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share your thoughts on how you’re contributing to youth development.
To learn more about the LTYC program and all that they do, please click below.
If you are hearing impaired, have data limitations, or connectivity challenges, we made a Podcast Blog just for you!
To learn more about what I do besides podcasting, please visit https://www.FatimaBey.world
If you have any comments, topic suggestions, or would like to be a guest on the show, please go to:
https://www.MindShiftPowerPodcast.world
Follow me on social media
https://smartlink.metricool.com/public/smartlink/fatimabeythemindshifter
Subscribe to my YouTube channel, where you will find 200+ videos of my words of wisdom and life lessons.
https://www.youtube.com/@TheMindShifter
Thank you for listening.
Next Episode
Running For Our Lives: The Response (Episode 82B - Part 2)
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It is important that you listen to the part 1 of this episode first: Running For Our Lives: The Murder I Designed Before I Could Drive - Episode #82A
In this illuminating conclusion to our two-part series (Episode 82B), trauma specialist Erica Bess expertly analyzes the psychological aftermath of childhood domestic violence exposure revealed in Fatima Bey's harrowing account.
"When your child hears you screaming in the other room, imagine the horror inside that they feel," explains Erica, revealing how children become co-survivors of abuse directed at their caregivers. This episode delves into the cascading traumas following the family's midnight escape—living in a hotel room, constant fear of discovery, and the development of adjustment disorder and PTSD that created hypervigilance lasting for decades.
Erica provides professional insight into one of the most chilling revelations from part one: the children's plan to eliminate their mother's abuser out of desperation. This powerful discussion illuminates how violence can perpetuate when children feel powerless to protect those they love.
Yet amidst this darkness emerges an inspiring transformation—how all three sisters channeled their trauma into healing professions. This episode offers profound understanding for survivors, parents concerned about household conflict's impact on children, and those supporting domestic violence survivors. Join us to explore trauma's enduring effects and the remarkable human capacity to transform pain into purpose.
To learn more about Erica Bess, The Trauma Master, please click the link below.
If you are hearing impaired, have data limitations, or connectivity challenges, we made a Podcast Blog just for you!
To learn more about what I do besides podcasting, please visit https://www.FatimaBey.world
If you have any comments, topic suggestions, or would like to be a guest on the show, please go to:
https://www.MindShiftPowerPodcast.world
Follow me on social media
https://smartlink.metricool.com/public/smartlink/fatimabeythemindshifter
Subscribe to my YouTube channel, where you will find 200+ videos of my words of wisdom and life lessons.
https://www.youtube.com/@TheMindShifter
Thank you for listening.
MindShift Power Podcast - I'm Pissed Off! Don’t Tell Me to Calm Down! (Episode 81)
Transcript
Welcome to MindShift Power Podcast , the only international podcast focused on teens , connecting young voices and perspectives from around the world . Get ready to explore the issues that matter to today's youth and shape tomorrow's world .
Fatima Bey The MindShifterI'm your host , fatima Bey the MindShifter .
Fatima Bey The MindShiIf you like this episode you’ll love
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