Shed Light on your Shadows to Set Yourself Free (PART 2)

06/19/19 • 41 min

This podcast is broken into two parts because shadow work is a very deep, complicated and huge part of awakening to our true nature. We will dive into specific examples of what dark and light shadows are, how you can detect a shadow and ways to integrate them back to your whole self. I share my personal relationship with my husband where our lowest selves and darkest shadows called each other to learn our greatest lessons.

Shadows are parts of our personality we hide, so we put on masks to show we are perfect. Society has groomed us to search outside ourselves for validation, keeping us in a cycle of striving for something in the future to make us happy or being stuck ruminating in the past. We are taught to never be satisfied, to believe this moment is not enough, and you are not enough. We strive to be special so we hide parts of our selves we deem unlikable or not acceptable behind masks. We feel broken and search outside ourselves for validation and love, when what we are searching for is already within us. Being authentic is special enough. It’s only through awakening and consciousness can we live in the moment, accept what is, learn to be okay with the ordinary in order to see the extraordinary in the ordinary that we can return to our whole, true authentic self and love.There is so much to share about shadow work. Today you will learn:

what a shadow is
how to discover your shadows
how they can harm you
how to learn the gift from your shadows
how to break free from any bad cycles and conditions
how to integrate your hidden parts of your personality back into your whole self.

When you mindfully come from a place of love rather than hate, and courage instead of fear, abundance instead of scarcity, you can be more compassionate and gentle with yourself and with others. Embrace your imperfections, vulnerability, authenticity, and the entire world within, and you will be free to create the whole, joyful and abundant life of your dreams. Your work is not to be perfect, but to be free. To be authentic. To be whole. To be loved. To be awake.

what a shadow is
how to discover your shadows
how they can harm you
how to learn the gift from your shadows
how to break free from any bad cycles and conditions
how to integrate your hidden parts of your personality back into your whole self.

Previous Episode

...but first GRACE

I listened to an incredible episode on Super Soul Conversations, the podcast with Oprah and Elizabeth Gilbert. Elizabeth spoke about her best friend’s death from cancer and how she fell in love with her best friend and was with her until the very last moment. I cried like a baby all the way home while listening to this podcast.

There were so many AH HA moments in that interview, but one lesson that stuck out was Elizabeth said we need to give ourselves mercy first. I have never used that word. I always thought it was only a word that priests and clergy men carrying smoky incense could only use. The word “Mercy” just brings me back to mass “May God have mercy on your soul.” It sounds too Holy to use in regular speech.

Oprah asked if you must first accept what is, then give yourself mercy. Elizabeth said that first you must have mercy before acceptance, because sometimes you cannot accept what is in the moment, so first you have to give yourself mercy that you are not in the right place or can’t accept what is in that moment.

It blew my mind. Mercy. We don’t give ourselves it enough, or even at all. You can call it mercy, or give yourself grace, compassion, patience, love or as my dad would say “cut yourself some husk.” I still don’t know what that means.

What’s really crazy is that typically we show more compassion and mercy to those we love than of ourselves. We give mercy freely to others, but not to ourselves. We are the hardest on ourselves.

Through mercy, we no longer need to punish ourselves. We are all human. We will fail and make mistakes, say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, date the wrong person, hurt someone, be judgmental, make the wrong decision, hold onto resentments far too long, we will feel guilt and shame and anger and myriad range of emotions and actions that divorce us from who we want to be. Sometimes we cannot accept what is and we are far from being in the present moment. This is a time for GRACE. Or as Elizabeth says, Mercy. Give yourself mercy. Give yourself compassion. Give yourself understanding. Give yourself patience. Give yourself love.

This is what it’s all about right? Our life is not to be small where we confine ourselves in a limited place and create unfair rules to live by, punishing ourselves and others if things don’t fall in line with our expectations. Our creator made us to live the fullest life, to experience it all. But we can only do that if we give ourselves grace and show ourselves mercy.

So, that’s my invitation to you this week. How can you show yourself as much mercy, grace, forgiveness and love this week? As always, I love connecting with you!

Next Episode

Resentment and Gratitude Cannot Co-Exist

OH MY GOSH! We did it! Can you believe it – 50 podcast episodes. Of course, being my 50th episode, we gotta talk about GRATITUDE! Because I couldn’t do this without you! I am so grateful you are part of my tribe, and thank you for sharing this podcast and listening. I’m grateful to be part of your life each week and I really hope I make a small difference in your life and brighten your week. Thank you for letting me in your world.

Ok let’s talk gratitude, because being grateful feels so good! It means things are good in your life. Being grateful probably isn’t going to happen every single moment, every single day. Let’s be honest – you’re human. You’re going to be disappointed, feel pain, be angry, become jealous, feel down – these are normal human emotions.

So how do you experience more gratitude?

I don’t believe in positivity Band-Aids. Positive affirmations are great, you know “Have an attitude of gratitude,” but they only go so far.

We’ve all been down in the dumps, and just saying affirmations without believing them doesn’t work. You can’t put a positivity Band-Aid on your feelings without first diving through the wound.

Instead of an affirmation, you can shift your energy when you are stuck in a negative place by focusing on being in the moment and what you are grateful for right now.

Resentment and Gratitude Cannot Co-Exist.

When I’m grateful I am not thinking about all of the things in my life that aren’t working. When I’m in resentment, there’s no way I am thinking positivity and abundance. They don’t go together. It’s your choice which one you are tuned into.

What is resentment? Resentment can be something big like being angry, holding a grudge or being really upset or having something really bad happen. It could also be something small like wishing for something different, being bored, or disappointed when things don’t work out as you planned or wished for, or just feeling blah.

Whether you’re in a dark hole or just experiencing a lull, I find I am most out of alignment with gratitude when I am somewhere other than the present moment.

Unless you’re the Dalai Lama, you’re probably not present all the time. Being mindful is a constant practice. When I’m in resentment, I’m usually turning over a drama from the past. The more you can stay engaged in life, in the present moment, here and now, the more you will notice the big and small things you are grateful for. To me, this is how I return to gratitude.

Instead of saying an affirmation over and over, I try to be present and engage in life to witness all that is good around me. The more I am aware and notice, the more things I see and experience that I am grateful for.

Here are some ways I return to gratitude:

Create a Gratitude journal and write in it as much as possible – at least once a week. Then each month, have some “ME” time and review. Write down everything – even that it was a sunny day and you saw butterflies or I listened to this podcast.
Share 3 things you are grateful for that happened that day. Remember the small things, even like “I’m grateful for going to bed,”or “I’m grateful this awful day is over.”
Write down 1 challenge you’re grateful for and what you learned. No one likes to go through challenges or deal with problems, but through discomfort and uncertainty you stretch yourself and learn that you are more resilient than you thought. In that moment, it’s not so fun, but I love looking back at these to see how strong I was. It’s a reminder that we can get through whatever we are currently dealing with.
Keep a Gratitude jar filled with experiences or people you are grateful for, a feeling and inspirational quotes. You can pull from this each day or when you’re feeling down to lift you up.
I keep all of my emails in a gratitude email folder, literally titled “I matter,” so when I am in a negative place wondering if anything I do matters, I can go back to this folder and read how I have made an impact and connected with you and our community. It seriously helps me shift my attitude! So, keep it coming. I love hearing from you!

I hope sharing these rituals and ways I keep gratitude present in my life helps you start a gratitude practice. It’s not about positivity Band-Aids and affirmations, but truly being present to what is good in your life now that keeps gratitude at the forefront of your mind. When you notice them more, then you will receive more to be grateful for.

I am grateful for you for listening to this podcast and enriching my life. I could not do this without you.

What ways and rituals do you bring gratitude in your life? Please share with me on instagram and here on my blog so anytime you get off centered, you can come back to this sweet list for inspiration!