Me and We

Bonnie Macbride and Mallika Bush

In the “Me & We” podcast, we learn to develop our “me” as we influence our “we”. How do we have less suffering and more fun in whatever situation we find ourselves in? How do we take action based on our values? Can we be who we are with more ease? Hosts Bonnie Macbride and Mallika Bush share frames and tools with real-life examples, offering this podcast to help you access your life energy, make use of your emotions, and find more satisfaction in your life and relationships.

In season one, you will learn the 9 building blocks that Bonnie Macbride has developed. These frames and tools can be applied to every context through relationships, with a particular focus on primary, intimate partnerships.

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Top 10 Me and We Episodes

Goodpods has curated a list of the 10 best Me and We episodes, ranked by the number of listens and likes each episode have garnered from our listeners. If you are listening to Me and We for the first time, there's no better place to start than with one of these standout episodes. If you are a fan of the show, vote for your favorite Me and We episode by adding your comments to the episode page.

#32 - Building Block 9: Claiming Truth and Self-Authority

Me and We

02/24/25 • 45 min

Claiming something means we own it, even if it might not be true. The power in knowing "truth" helps us assert to ourselves internally (and possible to other's). We can develop a trust in ourselves when we have the ability to "claim truth," even if we are not in a position of authority. With the goal of less suffering, and getting back on the horse, it can be so helpful to develop trust and confidence in oneself to see the truth.

With this step, we really shift off "right" and "wrong" dynamic, to looking and listening for truth and skills . . . COMPARING. Sorting and comparing parts of ourselves or looking at differences between us with others. Claiming helps us not collapse into shame, but hold that ability to see the differences as useful.

who has what resources

who sees things differently than we do (and holding it as wisdom)

who's stuff/distortion is showing up - is this my shame/defenses or yours?

Mallika shares about her own comparing in her marriage. How she used to compare and suffer around the differences. Mallika made a shift, to claiming and self-authority. Mallika shares how she uses comparing now, her husbands skills and her own different skills, to lead their "we" to use all the skills and truth everyone brings to the table.

Bonnie shares the skills that she sees in her partner, and that she really may never catch up to his skill level in those areas. She claims a knowing within her marriage that allows her to experiment within that "we." She sees how their resources are difference, where their energy is and what needs they have.

Resources, Energy, Needs - When we pay attention to these key differences, we can compare and compete together. And we can see what we need to attend to? AKA seeing truth, claiming authority and getting common goals done.

Mallika shares here that her husband is good at seeing who's stuff belongs to who. Comparing without out shame. He is good at seeing who's got resources and energy. And she has learned from him and grown in her own ability in this department.

Bonnie points out how Mallika's husband might be tracking more of the independent self/needs and Mallika herself may be paying more attention to the dependent self/needs. Mallika may have more energy for listening for, and responding to, needs.

How do we own where we are while also working towards living our values?

How do we let go of the "right/wrong" and move towards seeing truth, claiming and look towards the future?

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Bonnie's book is available in paperback!
"Me And We: Finding Your Voice and Influencing Relational Interactions"
Send us your questions! Email them to [email protected]
Find out more about our work:
Bonnie's Website: bonniemacbride.com
Mallika's Website: rootedrelationships.com
Thank you to Jessica Carson Chen for the music for the show.
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Thank you to Positron Productions for producing and editing the show.

#34 - A Complete Unknown (Skill Application)

Me and We

03/10/25 • 43 min

Skill Application with "A Complete Unknown"

Episode Summary:

Join us as we explore the fascinating dynamics and nuanced relationships portrayed in the Bob Dylan biopic. Using the "me" and "we" framework, we examine Dylan's orientation to his independent self and how it shaped his interactions with others throughout the film. From his creative brilliance to the tensions with Sylvie and with Joan, we explore how the character of Dylan navigated connections while following his inner compass.

We also explore pivotal moments, such as Joan’s attempt at a collaborative approach during a concert and how Seeger’s wife helped diffuse a climactic conflict. This discussion also speculates on alternative ways characters could have approached Dylan using experimental tools like "willing, wanting, committing" or "boxing into our dilemma" to foster more productive dialogues, or at least to have a little more satisfaction in the moment.

Key Points Discussed:

"Me" vs. "We" Framework

Dylan’s interactions often demonstrate a "me-focused" approach, prioritizing his creative needs over relational dynamics. Not that it's wrong! While he formed meaningful bonds (e.g., with Woody), many other relationships were influenced by his self-driven nature.

Dylan’s Independent Self

Dylan’s strength lay in his unwavering commitment to his artistic vision, even when it clashed with external expectations and relationships. He confidently carved his path, climatically exemplified in the movie by his transition to electric guitar at the 1965 folk festival.

Joan’s Strategy – Collaboration & Growth

Joan’s character adapted over time, finding ways to compete with Dylan while standing her ground. Her ability to respect Dylan’s artistry yet advocate for her own approach is a testament to navigating relationships with strong-willed individuals.

Seeger and Alternate Approaches

We reflect on how Seeger might have bridged the gap with Dylan by "boxing him into a dilemma" or experimenting with collaborative goals instead of pushing his own agenda.

Relational Influence at Climactic Moments

A critical scene depicting Seeger’s wife intervening during an intense moment highlights the significance of grounding actions in values and mutual respect, fostering clarity amidst conflict. And demonstrates how a developed system of a dyad can be easier to work in that the larger systems we want to influence.

Why This Episode is a Must-Listen:

Gain insights into the "me" and "we" relationship framework.
Learn what makes Dylan’s artistic brilliance so compelling—and challenging to connect with.
Explore the importance of experimenting with relational dynamics when collaborating with visionary individuals.
Reflect on how values and accountability can transform interpersonal and systemic tensions.

Listen now to uncover Dylan’s layered world and how his

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#37 - Working with Our Political Climate

Me and We

04/04/25 • 65 min

Navigating Political Climate and Emotional Challenges
Mallika and Bonnie discussed the challenges of navigating the current political climate in the United States. They explored how to manage emotions and make choices that lead to less suffering and more influence. Mallika shared her experiences with a family email chain, where she felt disconnected and struggled with the desire to participate in discussions about political issues. She expressed a desire for a deeper layer of conversation, focusing on curiosity and understanding. Bonnie guided Mallika through the process of observing the system without judgment, acknowledging emotions while maintaining a neutral stance. They also touched on the importance of separating values from actions and the potential for feeling disconnected from others in the political climate.
Finding Balance and Expression in Context
Bonnie and Mallika discussed the importance of finding balance and expression in different contexts. They talked about the need to acknowledge and accept similarities, rather than constantly focusing on differences. The conversation centered around the idea of finding the right balance between expressing oneself and avoiding escalation or compliance.
Navigating Political Outrage and Anxiety
Mallika and Bonnie acknowledged that people often get caught up in outrage and lose sight of their own enjoyment, leading to a desire to change the context or the people in power. When people feel their preferred party is in power, there is still a lot of outrage directed at other citizens who don't agree with them. How can we handle this widespread outrage and anxiety?
Compartmentalizing and choosing the level of context one wants to work with in a particular moment is one way to manage our emotional suffering. Mallika asked for strategies to break the compulsion to be in an outrage state, and Bonnie suggested using tools like comparing current context to past ones, and finding relief in moments of relief.
Self-Awareness and Activism Challenges
Bonnie and Mallika discussed the importance of self-awareness and tracking one's own thought processes. They emphasized the need to check in and assess one's own experiences, rather than just reacting to situations. They also touched on the challenges of being an activist and the need to recognize the power of others who may not be as committed to taking action. The conversation ended with a reflection on the potential influence one can have on others by recognizing and addressing their own limitations.
Managing Emotions and Reactions Effectively
In the end, Bonnie and Mallika explored the idea of rehearsing different responses to an email thread, acknowledging the potential for retaliation and the importance of pacing oneself. Could one redirect the conversation to a more positive direction, while being prepared for potential backlash?

How are you working with your own experiences, to get out of suffering, regarding the current political climate?

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#31 - Skill: Repair, Opening the Gift, Giving to Self

Me and We

02/17/25 • 51 min

We ARE going to get disorganized, we are going to get activated and "off the horse."

The single most important place to reach for in our important relationships, and especially with intimate partnerships, is REPAIR.

On the podcast today, Bonnie and Mallika talk about a skill that's doable for everybody, no matter how interested you are in relational growth or healing. It's a skill that's all about action, and how to manage our reaction.

The steps are: React, Remove, Regroup, Rehearse, Redo = Repair

And we explore the skill of "Redirect." Bonnie and Mallika talk about the ways that they didn't use to know how to use redirect full until they were only and had a more organized self that could wait/pause for the right time to repair.

Opening The Gift

Are you able to see, receive and OPEN the gifts that are coming your way?

Mallika shares about her process of recognizing the gifts coming from her husband and from her mom. And then realizing that she wasn't really at choice to open the gifts, but does feel herself able to open them more often now.

Bonnie actually receives a gift from Mallika live on the show.

And sometimes we need to step through the shame wall to be able to receive those gifts.

Bonnie shares about learning from her mom, who was Chinese, about pushing away complements and gifts, showing that we are socialized in some ways that don't serve us.

Giving To Self

Learning to give to ourselves and receive from ourselves comes when we have, or are committed to developing, an independent self.

At times, we wont be able to receive in a dependent way, from or with another. We really have to learn to do with for ourselves.

We are far more powerful if we are in touch with our dependent selves. When we lead with tapping into our dependent selves, and the dependent self of the other, we can have a greater influence.

Bonnie shares an example of her dependent self in relationship with her husband.

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#19 - Build Block 6: Navigating the Terrain of Shame (Part 1)

Me and We

11/22/24 • 30 min

We all experience shame and it feels BAD! We don't even want to be seen. And we hide parts of ourselves that we associate with experiencing shame; we put them behind "the shame wall." Even good parts of ourselves can be disowned.
How do we navigate the places around where we feel shame?
What are our defenses against the shame place?
Can we let go of shaming ourselves and trust that we will still change or grow?
What ways can we reduce our feelings of shame and our defenses against shame?
Differentiate between impure and action! Yes, some of our disowned parts are "bad" to act out, but not bad to feel!
Mallika shares about how her shame gets activated in her role of "mother" and the sinking place of shame that she experiences. Bonnie's shame sounds like "You can't even show up. You're so bad! And you just look stupid!"
(We had some Internet issues, as this episode was recorded after Hurricane Helene hit Mallika's area in western North Carolina.)

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#36 - Summary Part 2

Me and We

03/25/25 • 74 min

In Part 2 of their discussion on the 9 Building Blocks, Mallika and Bonnie dive into Blocks 5-9, exploring key skills for personal and relational growth.

Topics Discussed:

Building Block 5: Energy – Mallika and Bonnie explore the importance of recognizing different energy states in relationships and how using the "Me & We" skills can help improve mutual understanding and acceptance, especially when partners are in different energy states.
Willing, Wanting, and Committing – They dive into the concept of willing, wanting, and committing as different levels of energy and action, and how this understanding helped Mallika shift her approach during a challenging moment with her husband, leading to a more aligned and less stressful response.
Building Block 6: Shame – Bonnie and Mallika discuss the various defenses we use to protect against shame and the impact of conflation errors (as discussed in Episode #20). They emphasize the importance of recognizing these errors to navigate shame more effectively in personal and relational interactions.
Building Block 7: Receiving a Protest – They explore how understanding the first six building blocks is essential for receiving protests in relationships. The ability to handle protests effectively is key to deepening interpersonal work and strengthening bonds.
Building Block 8: Independent Self – Mallika highlights the importance of the "3 C’s" (Compassion, Claiming, Curiosity) for developing an independent self that can self-organize. They discuss the value of emotional intelligence, taking space to regroup, and using the React-Remove-Regroup-Rehearse-Redo (Repair) cycle for healing and repair in relationships.
Building Block 9: Claiming Truth – Mallika and Bonnie dive into the concept of claiming truth and self-authority, especially for "Truth Seekers." They emphasize the importance of warrior energy and heart in personal growth, and the need to assess resources, energy, and needs accurately. They also discuss the power of holding people accountable to their values for transformative change.

This episode emphasizes the importance of pausing to explore dilemmas, cultivating emotional intelligence, and recognizing progress, effort, and impact in relationships.

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#27 - Real Life: Blake and Justin

Me and We

01/18/25 • 51 min

Another "Real Life" application.
Let's look at what we know about the current context between Blake Lively and Juston Baldoni.
Bonnie and Mallika are not looking at who is "right" and who is "wrong" in this context. Instead, they are looking to apply the frames and skills that have been presented on this podcast to what Blake or Justin might have tried.
What could Justin have said in response to Blakes protest about what was happening on set?
How could Blake have approached Justin in a way that might encourage his cooperation?
How might Justin have stepped through his shame and hung onto himself?
How NOW take some action to get out of the suffering they must be in now?

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#26 - Skill: Pause, Owning and Asking, Resonating

Me and We

01/10/25 • 37 min

The big question about protests - how can we respond that is NOT a counter protest?
Bonnie and Mallika act out some examples of these skills using listener questions.
Pause: How to pause a protest someone is sending (in a way that doesn't feel like you're avoiding or deflecting)
Owning and Asking: Is there a part of the protest that you can agree with? That you can "own" as something you did?
Then, ask a question back to the sender (sending the energy away from you).
Resonating: Reflect, validate and empathize with the protester. Nothing settles a protest like resonating with the other person.
What protests come your way often?
Email us at [email protected] with your protest examples and we will discuss them on a future episode!

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#6 - Skill: Context, Goal, Role

Me and We

08/30/24 • 26 min

Within the Building Block of "Accepting Perfection As We Are", this episode defines and explores "Context, Goal, Role".
Using "CGR" helps us regulate our emotions and feelings by taking a dispassionate approach to what's happening around and inside you. Observe, gather facts, and look at what our goals are.
Mallika shares a real life example to illustrate where CGR can be helpful.

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#35 - Summary Part 1

Me and We

03/17/25 • 63 min

This episode marks part 1 of the culmination of "Season One" as we reflect on the heart of personal growth work, reviewing the building blocks and discussing upcoming shifts. Join us as we explore two guiding stances—the heart and the warrior—and discover how these frameworks can inspire resilience and deeper connections in your everyday life.

Episode Highlights

Defining the Heart Stance
- The heart as a place of openness, receptivity, and gratitude 💖
- Actively orienting to give and receive gifts in relationships
- Navigating life's barriers to sustaining openness
Exploring the Warrior Stance
- The warrior as a protector, using its shield for boundaries and sword to redirect energy ⚔️
- Key attributes of the warrior stance: Relentlessness, Righteousness, and Ruthlessness
- Balancing strength with heart to approach challenges skillfully
Integrating Both Stances
- Learning how to toggle between heart and warrior modes in life’s challenges
- Moving toward their unity for a more whole, balanced self
Building Blocks for Growth
- Review of foundational blocks, such as Seeing Systems, Perfect The Way We Are, Accessing Emotions, and Embracing Trauma 🌳
- How the heart and warrior stances connect with these building blocks to foster greater resilience
Personal Reflections and Stories
- Bonnie and Mallika share real-life moments of practicing heart and warrior skills in relationships, parenting, and even funny moments (like being mad at the wind!)

Takeaways for Listeners

Learn how to cultivate an open heart without losing strength and boundaries.
Gain tools to approach personal challenges and deepen emotional intelligence.
Discover the importance of integrating both heart and warrior energies in relationships.

Call to Action

Inspired to explore these practices in your own life? Share your thoughts with us in in an email or a review of the show!

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FAQ

How many episodes does Me and We have?

Me and We currently has 38 episodes available.

What topics does Me and We cover?

The podcast is about Health & Fitness, Society & Culture, Relationship, Mental Health, Therapy, Podcasts, Marriage, Relationships and Couples Therapy.

What is the most popular episode on Me and We?

The episode title '#30 - Building Block 8: Organizing Self' is the most popular.

What is the average episode length on Me and We?

The average episode length on Me and We is 35 minutes.

How often are episodes of Me and We released?

Episodes of Me and We are typically released every 7 days, 1 hour.

When was the first episode of Me and We?

The first episode of Me and We was released on Jul 21, 2024.

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Me and We

Bonnie Macbride and Mallika Bush

Top 10 Me and We Episodes

FAQ

How many episodes does Me and We have?

What topics does Me and We cover?

What is the most popular episode on Me and We?

What is the average episode length on Me and We?

How often are episodes of Me and We released?

When was the first episode of Me and We?

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