#35 - Summary Part 1

03/17/25 • 63 min

This episode marks part 1 of the culmination of "Season One" as we reflect on the heart of personal growth work, reviewing the building blocks and discussing upcoming shifts. Join us as we explore two guiding stances—the heart and the warrior—and discover how these frameworks can inspire resilience and deeper connections in your everyday life.

Episode Highlights

Defining the Heart Stance
- The heart as a place of openness, receptivity, and gratitude 💖
- Actively orienting to give and receive gifts in relationships
- Navigating life's barriers to sustaining openness
Exploring the Warrior Stance
- The warrior as a protector, using its shield for boundaries and sword to redirect energy ⚔️
- Key attributes of the warrior stance: Relentlessness, Righteousness, and Ruthlessness
- Balancing strength with heart to approach challenges skillfully
Integrating Both Stances
- Learning how to toggle between heart and warrior modes in life’s challenges
- Moving toward their unity for a more whole, balanced self
Building Blocks for Growth
- Review of foundational blocks, such as Seeing Systems, Perfect The Way We Are, Accessing Emotions, and Embracing Trauma 🌳
- How the heart and warrior stances connect with these building blocks to foster greater resilience
Personal Reflections and Stories
- Bonnie and Mallika share real-life moments of practicing heart and warrior skills in relationships, parenting, and even funny moments (like being mad at the wind!)

Takeaways for Listeners

Learn how to cultivate an open heart without losing strength and boundaries.
Gain tools to approach personal challenges and deepen emotional intelligence.
Discover the importance of integrating both heart and warrior energies in relationships.

Call to Action

Inspired to explore these practices in your own life? Share your thoughts with us in in an email or a review of the show!

Send us a text

Bonnie's book is available in paperback!
"Me And We: Finding Your Voice and Influencing Relational Interactions"
Send us your questions! Email them to [email protected]
Find out more about our work:
Bonnie's Website: bonniemacbride.com
Mallika's Website: rootedrelationships.com
Thank you to Jessica Carson Chen for the music for the show.
Listen On Spotify
Thank you to Positron Productions for producing and editing the show.

Episode Highlights

Defining the Heart Stance
- The heart as a place of openness, receptivity, and gratitude 💖
- Actively orienting to give and receive gifts in relationships
- Navigating life's barriers to sustaining openness
Exploring the Warrior Stance
- The warrior as a protector, using its shield for boundaries and sword to redirect energy ⚔️
- Key attributes of the warrior stance: Relentlessness, Righteousness, and Ruthlessness
- Balancing strength with heart to approach challenges skillfully
Integrating Both Stances
- Learning how to toggle between heart and warrior modes in life’s challenges
- Moving toward their unity for a more whole, balanced self
Building Blocks for Growth
- Review of foundational blocks, such as Seeing Systems, Perfect The Way We Are, Accessing Emotions, and Embracing Trauma 🌳
- How the heart and warrior stances connect with these building blocks to foster greater resilience
Personal Reflections and Stories
- Bonnie and Mallika share real-life moments of practicing heart and warrior skills in relationships, parenting, and even funny moments (like being mad at the wind!)

Takeaways for Listeners

Learn how to cultivate an open heart without losing strength and boundaries.
Gain tools to approach personal challenges and deepen emotional intelligence.
Discover the importance of integrating both heart and warrior energies in relationships.

Call to Action

Inspired to explore these practices in your own life? Share your thoughts with us in in an email or a review of the show!

Send us a text

Previous Episode

#34 - A Complete Unknown (Skill Application)

Skill Application with "A Complete Unknown"

Episode Summary:

Join us as we explore the fascinating dynamics and nuanced relationships portrayed in the Bob Dylan biopic. Using the "me" and "we" framework, we examine Dylan's orientation to his independent self and how it shaped his interactions with others throughout the film. From his creative brilliance to the tensions with Sylvie and with Joan, we explore how the character of Dylan navigated connections while following his inner compass.

We also explore pivotal moments, such as Joan’s attempt at a collaborative approach during a concert and how Seeger’s wife helped diffuse a climactic conflict. This discussion also speculates on alternative ways characters could have approached Dylan using experimental tools like "willing, wanting, committing" or "boxing into our dilemma" to foster more productive dialogues, or at least to have a little more satisfaction in the moment.

Key Points Discussed:

"Me" vs. "We" Framework

Dylan’s interactions often demonstrate a "me-focused" approach, prioritizing his creative needs over relational dynamics. Not that it's wrong! While he formed meaningful bonds (e.g., with Woody), many other relationships were influenced by his self-driven nature.

Dylan’s Independent Self

Dylan’s strength lay in his unwavering commitment to his artistic vision, even when it clashed with external expectations and relationships. He confidently carved his path, climatically exemplified in the movie by his transition to electric guitar at the 1965 folk festival.

Joan’s Strategy – Collaboration & Growth

Joan’s character adapted over time, finding ways to compete with Dylan while standing her ground. Her ability to respect Dylan’s artistry yet advocate for her own approach is a testament to navigating relationships with strong-willed individuals.

Seeger and Alternate Approaches

We reflect on how Seeger might have bridged the gap with Dylan by "boxing him into a dilemma" or experimenting with collaborative goals instead of pushing his own agenda.

Relational Influence at Climactic Moments

A critical scene depicting Seeger’s wife intervening during an intense moment highlights the significance of grounding actions in values and mutual respect, fostering clarity amidst conflict. And demonstrates how a developed system of a dyad can be easier to work in that the larger systems we want to influence.

Why This Episode is a Must-Listen:

Gain insights into the "me" and "we" relationship framework.
Learn what makes Dylan’s artistic brilliance so compelling—and challenging to connect with.
Explore the importance of experimenting with relational dynamics when collaborating with visionary individuals.
Reflect on how values and accountability can transform interpersonal and systemic tensions.

Listen now to uncover Dylan’s layered world and how his

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Next Episode

#36 - Summary Part 2

In Part 2 of their discussion on the 9 Building Blocks, Mallika and Bonnie dive into Blocks 5-9, exploring key skills for personal and relational growth.

Topics Discussed:

Building Block 5: Energy – Mallika and Bonnie explore the importance of recognizing different energy states in relationships and how using the "Me & We" skills can help improve mutual understanding and acceptance, especially when partners are in different energy states.
Willing, Wanting, and Committing – They dive into the concept of willing, wanting, and committing as different levels of energy and action, and how this understanding helped Mallika shift her approach during a challenging moment with her husband, leading to a more aligned and less stressful response.
Building Block 6: Shame – Bonnie and Mallika discuss the various defenses we use to protect against shame and the impact of conflation errors (as discussed in Episode #20). They emphasize the importance of recognizing these errors to navigate shame more effectively in personal and relational interactions.
Building Block 7: Receiving a Protest – They explore how understanding the first six building blocks is essential for receiving protests in relationships. The ability to handle protests effectively is key to deepening interpersonal work and strengthening bonds.
Building Block 8: Independent Self – Mallika highlights the importance of the "3 C’s" (Compassion, Claiming, Curiosity) for developing an independent self that can self-organize. They discuss the value of emotional intelligence, taking space to regroup, and using the React-Remove-Regroup-Rehearse-Redo (Repair) cycle for healing and repair in relationships.
Building Block 9: Claiming Truth – Mallika and Bonnie dive into the concept of claiming truth and self-authority, especially for "Truth Seekers." They emphasize the importance of warrior energy and heart in personal growth, and the need to assess resources, energy, and needs accurately. They also discuss the power of holding people accountable to their values for transformative change.

This episode emphasizes the importance of pausing to explore dilemmas, cultivating emotional intelligence, and recognizing progress, effort, and impact in relationships.

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