Mastering the Drop! A Real View of Recovery - Breaking Bad Relationship Habits: How to Set Healthy Boundaries

Breaking Bad Relationship Habits: How to Set Healthy Boundaries

11/23/22 • 34 min

Mastering the Drop! A Real View of Recovery

This week Tricia welcomes new TLR coach, Anu Morgan! Listen as Tricia and Anu discuss the importance of placing healthy boundaries in a relationship.

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Hello. Hello everybody. Welcome back to Mastering the Drop, A real view of recovery where, we just have amazing conversations with amazing people. This week, I'm super excited to bring in Anu who is new with us here at Turning Leaves, but definitely not a stranger to the coaching practice or industry.

And I could not be more honored that she has joined our team and the level of expertise that she brings with her is just, tremendous. I just get so excited every day. Anu, say hello.

Hello everyone. So nice to be here.

Thank. Thank you. I'm so excited to have this conversation today because you know, the holidays are challenging.

For so many reasons on so many different levels. And if you're listening to this as a replay, and it's January of 2023 or whatever, daytime or year, don't push, don't push, stop, continue listening because it's applicable all year long. But, but right now where we're sitting here, just ahead of, you know, Thanksgiving and you know, just really transitioning into this space where, you know, It's, you know, family, there's pressure to, you know, perform, to buy gifts, to cook the right meal, to, to show up to everything, for everybody to juggle and manage your, your, your professional life with all of the additional things.

But there's more to it. And, and I, I think that, you know, this is really important because there's a lot of people out there that are in relationship transition. Whether it is, you know, a relationship that has been struggling for some time that is still fighting to repair or a relationship that has dissolved recently and is in that separation, um, space and, and that whole newness of.

You know, what is this gonna look like? Especially when there's kids and, and, and you know, who gets who, when, where, and how do we, you know, all the things, especially when there are long term relationships that are ending. Now you have that grieving of, you know, not being with the in-laws that you used to be with, or, uh, you know, having to meet new people if you're starting something new.

For the first time. There's so many different layers. I mean, I know I have clients right now that are in it, right? Like, they're like, oh, I've been single for a couple of years. Like, I don't know, is the holidays the right time to invite, you know, to introduce somebody new Or is this the right time to start dating somebody new?

All the questions, and I see your wheels spinning because I know you have many of the answers.

So many different dynamics going on, for sure. Yes. And everybody brings their own story into it and their own complexities into it. And then it's the merging of the two that makes it very complicated, . And so that's what I see all the time.

You know, people are bringing their baggage so to speak, and their unhealed traumas and all of that complicates it.

Mm, I like that you said that about the baggage, right? I don't know anybody that listens all the time has seen me do the, the bag, the bag maneuver, right? Like this bag of things. And, and, and I see this with people all the time also, right?

Like they, they just pull something out of their, you know, their. Bag of past experiences and they're just slinging at all the new things that could be new and fresh and beautiful. But I'm gonna attach this to there because it's what I know, right? It's what you know, it's what I've experienced before and now you know, this poor, unknowing individual is like stuck with your ex from three times ago's, you know, bad act , right?

So, you know, you can't build something new with living in the, in the past. Right. So it really helps to make people aware or they have to be aware of what they're bringing to the table. Yeah. And the holidays makes it just so difficult with so many people in the mix family and everybody has something to say.

And the, the new person or the old person has something to say, the family has something to say, so you have to clear out the clutter and figure out where you stand before any of that gets convoluted by all the noise.

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Connect with Anu Morgan:

EMAIL: [email protected]

WEBSITE: https://www.turningleavesrecovery.com/anu-morgan

https://www.heartbreakafterdivorce.com/

IG: https://www.instagram.com/anu.lifecoach/

FB: https://www.facebook.com/AnuMorganWell...

This week Tricia welcomes new TLR coach, Anu Morgan! Listen as Tricia and Anu discuss the importance of placing healthy boundaries in a relationship.

___________________________________________________________________

And I could not be more honored that she has joined our team and the level of expertise that she brings with her is just, tremendous. I just get so excited every day. Anu, say hello.

Hello everyone. So nice to be here.

Thank. Thank you. I'm so excited to have this conversation today because you know, the holidays are challenging.

All the questions, and I see your wheels spinning because I know you have many of the answers.

You know, people are bringing their baggage so to speak, and their unhealed traumas and all of that complicates it.

.....

Connect with Anu Morgan:

EMAIL: [email protected]

WEBSITE: https://www.turningleavesrecovery.com/anu-morgan

https://www.heartbreakafterdivorce.com/

IG: https://www.instagram.com/anu.lifecoach/

FB: https://www.facebook.com/AnuMorganWell...

Previous Episode

A Calling to Help Others Through Grief w/Jenny Dilts

In this week's special episode, Tricia welcomes back Jenny Dilts. Tune in to hear about how Jenny began her journey as a Grieving Coach.

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Hello. Hello everybody. Welcome back to this week's Mastering the Drop, A real view of recovery where we talk about all kinds of recovery needs, right? There's of course the traditional, the space where everybody's head goes to. Um, for those folks that are struggling, that are down the. Um, not functioning in their daily lives that really, you know, could use some help removing chemical substances from their life.

But then there are so many other journeys that we have to take and, and today's topic is really, Special to me because I recently, um, have, have had to, you know, take this walk and, and so I'm really excited to, to welcome my, my guests today and, and invite you to experience her as well. Jenny Dilts is a grief a.

Coach. Mm-hmm. . Yes. A grief coach. I always wanna stick the word recovery in there. Um, she's a grief coach who, who really specializes in accompanying people, um, on their journey to con, to convert their grief into, uh, a space of growth. , but she does it in a way that that really matches where each client is and, and, and to do it in their own way, in the way that's gonna serve them.

And she does it without judgment, without expectation, and, and just the removal of despair is just amazing. So, you know. I don't, I don't wanna, you know, continue to try explaining exactly how you take people on this magical journey, Jenny. But, but you know, again, grief is a big thing. Right? And, and it's, it's broad.

It's not just when we lose a person. Yeah. It could be a lot of things. Um, so anyway, why don't you introduce yourself and, and tell people, you know, one, how, how, how did you come. To, to feel called into this space.

Sure. So, like Tricia said, my name is Jenny Dilts and I'm a grief coach. Um, I started really working in the grief space about six years ago when I volunteered to give a meal to a family whose husband and dad died suddenly.

Unlike most of people who work in the field of grief, I don't come with quote, personal experience with grief. Um, my introduction to grief was when I dropped this meal off to the family. So I, I delivered this meal to this family. I thought it was gonna be a five minute visit.

It turned into a three hour life changing experience for me, really. And this is really where I found my calling, um, both as like a life mission calling. This is what I'm supposed to be doing, as well as an internal calling of passion and excitement, even. To support people in their grief.

I don't mean to interrupt because I, but I'm so extremely fascinated, um, and intrigued about, you know, what that what that first meeting looked like, like three hours.

The people you didn't know, like, what did, what happened inside of that?

Like I said, I was expecting a five minute meal drop off. I had all five of my kids with me. We were gonna just drop off the meal and go to the park. Um, well, mom invited us in and I sat down on their couch and she started talking and I listened. I listened, like everything depended on that. Because probably it did, it did for me.

Um, often she apologized for recounting the details of trying to save her husband. Mm-hmm. , she apologized for the graphicness of what she was sharing. None of that bothered me. I didn't, I wasn't like phased by her tears. I wasn't phased by the grief, the trauma. I was there. I was there focused on her and her experience.

How amazing.

It was. Incredible.

Cause I know, I know that, you know, we're often at a loss for words. We don't know what to say. We don't know. How to be, and we know that there isn't anything we can do really. Mm-hmm. that, that can change the situation. And I think as, as beings, most beings right. Want to help fix things.

Mm-hmm. , So how, how interesting that you were, were able to be so connected.

That's part of that is my default nature. I'm a listener. I observe things. I'm not usually one to initiate the conversation, but I can listen. I can be present. That's one of my superpowers, and that's what I discovered that day is that I have a calming presence.

And people feel safe opening up with their deepest pain, their greatest vulnerability, their hardest and most painful grief.

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Connect with Jenny Dilts:

EMAIL: [email protected]

WEBSITE: www.grievingcoach.com

FB: www.facebook.com/GrievingCoach/

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Next Episode

Intellectualizing Life Changes with Julie Jones

This week on Mastering the Drop, join Tricia with Guest Julie Jones!⁠
Listen as Tricia and Julie discuss Intellectualizing a life change.⁠
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When we experience changes in the outside world, they often bring about an internalization. The process of intellectualizing can be seen as one that helps us to understand our own life.⁠

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All right. Welcome back to Mastering the Drop. A real view of recovery. I am super jazz pumped right now because, you know, my, my, my really good friend Julie Jones is here with us today and, and she just always brings so much love, light energy, pizzaz to any space. So of course I've already like energized.

Um, and, and so, you know, we're just gonna kind of jump to the chase because we're ready to have this conversation , right? Um, because intellectualizing a life change or a recovery journey or, you know, whatever that life change is. It's a great conversation to have.......

My guest, Julie Jones, Welcome my friend. Welcome.

Well, thank you. I am super excited to be here. I've been looking forward to this, this conversation with you and I'm just so grateful to have you in my life. And yeah, so again, I appreciate the opportunity because you know, it's in these types of conversations that so much comes out that it supports and, you know, inspires other people to, you know, figure out their own journey.

Because everybody's journey is unique and everybody's journey, if you wanna say, is customized. Like nobody's gonna have the same journey ever cuz that's life.

So true. So true. When I know that, you know, you've had, you know, a lot of, a lot of journeys happening, right? Like some, like really cool, some, you know, some challenging, some whatever, right?

Like life change is big. Life change is big.

Well it is, and I don't know, I just recently posted, um, on all my social media, so on October 27th was a big day for me, and I call it my 10 and 10. So 10 years married, and that's been a journey in and of itself. Um, because of the fact that, um, my husband and I have had a lot of ups and downs in our relationship, but bottom line was that, you know, I, I love him so much that sometimes I was just willing to weather some things at my expense.

And then it was when I finally took a stand for myself and realizing, That I was no longer gonna tolerate some of the things that I tolerated. It's really shifted and changed a lot of different dynamics in, in our relationship as well. And then the other 10 came in. That I'm, you know, 10 months sober. So on December 27th of last year, so 20, you know, 20, 21.

I made the decision after examining my relationship with alcohol and I said, Okay, enough is enough. And I had thought about it a a lot as well. Like, you know, you talk about this, you know, intellectualization and I'm not always a think. Right. But at this particular moment, and this particular decision, I was. Because I had really started examining, um, you know, like the, the instances in my life where I was probably a little bit embarrassed by my behavior, and I realized a lot of it was alcohol related.

And then I also realized because of the struggles with my husband is that when, you know, he would drink, Then that would be like the trigger for me to drink and to drink even more. Like, it was like almost like, I'm gonna show you like, you know, Uhhuh, I can, you know, I can drink too. Right? And I, I also just recognized for myself that I really don't have a shutoff bells like I would say it's gonna be just, you know, one, one glass, right?

And it was one bottle and it wasn't every night, but it was quite a bit. And so I, I think about all the different times again, like in blacking out, getting sick, like, you know, those different kinds of things that, you know, really made me stop and think, is this the best, you know, best solution for my life? Yeah.

Yeah. I, I hear, wow, I hear that, right. Like the no, shut off. But also that intellectualization as to why we're drinking, right? Like when we're in it, we're in it, right?

Oh yeah, we can justify anything, right? Like, I mean, I. You know, like I used to justify that it was, you know, like my way to like, to relax, right?

Or I had a hard day, or you know, all the reasons that, you know, we give ourselves, I'm socializing it's happy hour. It's this, it's that, you know, I mean, think I remember because it was, um, Halloween last year and I'm known for throwing a huge Halloween party. and like I, I now look back and I, I recognize like a little bit of like my default and thinking.

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Connect with Julie Jones:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://julie...