Step Out of the Shadows and Speak!

In that moment between event and response, when we recognize something as a situation that can have significant consequences in our professional future. Those are the moments where before we speak, we want to stop and have something to reference in terms of, all right, who am I? Why am I here? What do I want? Because what most people do is when we are in a difficult situation or something, that's an emotionally charged situation. It's stressful for some reason. And stressful situations aren't bad. It just signals. Okay, this is going to call for me to dig a little bit deeper. When we find ourselves in those situations, most people think at that moment, OK, what do I want here? And what's in the brain starts to come out of the mouth? That's a huge mistake. Because during those moments when we are emotionally charged, we become drugged and start to think crazy things, and we start to think we are people that we are not. We all know what that's like when we are in our personal relationships when we find ourselves in a heated debate or a heated argument, or we are in an emotionally charged situation. It could be with a sister or a boyfriend or girlfriend or a spouse or a child. We say crazy things and they fly out of our mouth. And in that moment, they seem like the exact right thing to say. This is what I'm thinking. This is what you need to hear. I've always wanted to tell you this, and I'm telling it to you now. And then we have to then go later on and say, I apologize. I don't know what I was thinking. I don't know why I said that. And it's because we were drugged. We were crazy. We think crazy thoughts and we start thinking things like when we're, let's say, dealing with a difficult person, we think someone needs to teach you a lesson. And lucky for you, today is your lucky day. I am just the person to teach you that lesson. I can be nastier than you. I can be Ruder than you. I can show you. We start to think these thoughts or we start to think, I'm going to retreat and just not deal with this at all. But what we want to do is long before these situations happen, we want to create some tools, as I mentioned, to reference so that in the sliver in time between event and response, between what happens and how we respond to it or what we say, or if I sliver in time, we want to be able to stop and think, okay, who did I say I was? Who did I affirm that I was when I was sane and sober. Because when we are emotionally charged, we are neither one of those.

In this episode, Dan explores how we might not be aware of how our environment is affecting us, but we had better take a look, because it's time to either take a stand or stand down.

Mindful responses to gaslighting. Last chance to get all Dan's training at this price: https://www.danoconnortraining.com/store Latest Video: https://youtu.be/K7GR2gPJ5zY $ - : https://tinyurl.com/300Danoffer ? : https://tinyurl.com/MCReg1 The gaslighter is behaving as though, "I never told you that, Dan. I mean, really." And while they're gaslighting you and trying to throw you onto the bus, they might say things to you such as, "I don't think that's exactly how it. Are you sure you're remembering things correctly? I mean, you know how you are. You know how he is." If they try to pull that type of bullshit with you in front of other people, remember-- we train people how to treat us, so we must put a stop to this behavior and here are a few phrases to help you do that: Phrase number one: I know what I saw. I know what I heard. I know what happened. Now those are three different phrases, but choose one of them and stick to it. And remember the broken record and the, that may be, but the broken record and the, that may be but is one of the most effective, powerful communication tactics of them all and can really save you a lot of time and heartache and it shows such strength when you use it correctly. If somebody, for example, says to something like that-- if somebody says, "Dan, are you sure that you remember things correct?" "I know what happened." That is it. Do not explain yourself. Do not defend yourself. "I mean, You can sometimes be forgetful." "That may be, but I know what happened." "Oh, Dan, you are so dramatic." "That may be, but I know what happened." I'm going to give you some more tactics that are a little bit more advanced, and if you are coming home from work, feeling exhausted or feeling sick because of some gas lighter at work. Keep reading. We can all learn to have conversations that create miracles. Remember that a miracle is a shift in perception. And if you perceive me as somebody who's going to allow you to gaslight me and tarnish my reputation and impune my integrity right here in front of all of my peers, I need a miracle to retrain you how to treat me. And before I give you the next one, what are the types of phrases that you have become accustomed to or that you've heard or that you can recognize as gaslighting? Please put that in the comments below, and I'd like to respond to those. And also I'd like you to respond to what I'm saying. What do you think of it? Would you think that your gaslight would simply keep gaslighting? What would you think they would say to it? How would you respond to it? Are you a gas lighter? How would you respond to it, , and how would you respond to the other comments that people are leaving? Please leave your comments and I'd like to really start a discussion about what's going on, because it's not okay. What's going on? You know what I mean? It is not okay that we have suddenly as a society awakened in some type of post-apocalyptic zombie wasteland, where people are being encouraged to and given license to treat each other in the most horrible, loveless, ruthless way that is devoid of any civility and is hurting people every day. That's not okay. So I'd like to start a discussion on it and see what you say about what I'm saying, about what other people are saying, what people have said to you. Please let me know so that we can all talk about it and address this issue. Maybe we should all be going in that direction. Maybe we should all try to compete for the blue ribbon of the ugliest most unenlightened communicator in the office.

Q:What do I say when someone tells me tragic news? A: There are some things all savvy communicators are skilled in. Responding to tragic news is one of those things. In this communication skills training podcast, you'll learn to use the two-step process when tragedy strikes someone you know. The two steps are as follows: 1-Tell them specifically what you'd like to do to help, and 2-Ask them to please allow you do do it for them as a favor to you. Then next time someone tells you about some awful event taking place, you'll be ready, and you'll be seen (as well as feel like) a confident, powerful, savvy communicator.

In any effective communication skills training course you attend, you should learn specific phrases. That said, no matter how hard you might try, it can be difficult to handle toxic people and power phrases can be an effective way to shut them down. They help you set boundaries in a respectful way and offer strategies so that both parties can move past a situation with minimal conflict. When dealing with toxic people, power phrases give you the power to remain composed and express your feelings in a way that does not provoke or encourage aggression. This can help reduce stress while providing clear communication on what's acceptable and what isn't. By using power phrases, you'll be able to maintain control of the conversation without having to be confrontational and can communicate your needs in a respectful way. Power phrases not only help you stand up for yourself but also provide an opportunity to listen and gain new perspectives from the other person. This can lead to meaningful conversations that help both people come to a better understanding of one another. With power phrases, you'll be able to handle difficult conversations with grace and poise, allowing you to move on from any negative situations feeling empowered instead of drained. By implementing power phrases into your daily communication, you'll be equipped with the necessary skills needed when dealing with toxic people. They are an effective tool for shutting down toxic people while still providing a platform for respectful dialogue that can lead to greater understanding between both parties.