52. Lessons Learned this year: Navigating Abusive Relationships
12/02/21 • 16 min
During this year I have learned a very important lesson as well. The more I talk about toxic and abusive relationships to help you understand that you were in an abusive relationship and help you with the tools to get moving away from this relationship. I have also learned a few lessons myself. Going from a toxic abusive relationship into a healthy relationship is not going to be as easy as you once thought it was You have to unlearn all the behaviors that you have learned. You have to change the person that you are, the person that you became to be able to deal with all this toxic environment and abusive behavior.
You need to unlearn your trauma and you need to undo the brainwashing from everything that you have been living through. You have to learn to stop people-pleasing and you have to learn to set boundaries. These things are not easy to do because of the toxic environment that we have been exposed to in the past, we thought that it was selfish and even disrespectful to have these things in our lives. We thought because of the trauma that we have been carrying around, that we didn't need boundaries, or we did not need as strict boundaries as we actually do.
Get Break Away Journal here
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RakelColina.com
During this year I have learned a very important lesson as well. The more I talk about toxic and abusive relationships to help you understand that you were in an abusive relationship and help you with the tools to get moving away from this relationship. I have also learned a few lessons myself. Going from a toxic abusive relationship into a healthy relationship is not going to be as easy as you once thought it was You have to unlearn all the behaviors that you have learned. You have to change the person that you are, the person that you became to be able to deal with all this toxic environment and abusive behavior.
You need to unlearn your trauma and you need to undo the brainwashing from everything that you have been living through. You have to learn to stop people-pleasing and you have to learn to set boundaries. These things are not easy to do because of the toxic environment that we have been exposed to in the past, we thought that it was selfish and even disrespectful to have these things in our lives. We thought because of the trauma that we have been carrying around, that we didn't need boundaries, or we did not need as strict boundaries as we actually do.
Get Break Away Journal here
Here's all the ways we can connect:
Instagram
Facebook
TikTok
RakelColina.com
Previous Episode
51. The 7 Recovery Stages of Abuse with Brie Robertson
In this episode I bring along Brie Robertson, she talks about her story of physical & emotional abuse while also telling us about the 7 recovery stages of abuse. I was looking at my TikTok one day and I found her, immediately fell in love with her content. I reached out to her because there was one TikTok that actually hit me and I wanted her to share this with you. There are a lot of people talking about narcissistic abuse, emotional abuse, and psychological abuse, but everybody has a different story. Everybody has a different point of view and because I want to help as many women as possible, I want you to know, you are not alone.
Brie has been out of her relationship for over a year now and tells us what she had to go through. She tells the story of the moment that made the click for her, how she felt then, and how she is doing now. You can find her as From_The_Ashes10 and the book she mentioned - Educated: A Memoir from Tara Westover, you can get it here.
There's a lot of content out there for you to know and understand. For that reason, I have been working hard on bringing you the Break Away Journal. This journal will help you break away by digging in your past experience and feelings to bring a clear understanding of the next steps to take in your journey.
Here's all the ways we can connect:
Instagram
Facebook
TikTok
RakelColina.com
Next Episode
53. Unveiling the Journey: Overcome Trauma After Emotional Abuse
When you have been in a certain place for a long enough time to make it feel comfortable when you're not really comfortable because it is familiar and we tend to get familiarized with things and then just succumb to whatever it is and that is when this comes out. How did I know that my relationship was abusive?
One of the reasons why I recognized that my relationship was abusive was the fact that I started journaling. I didn't start journaling till after I left the relationship. I did write a couple of things here and there, prayers down and stuff like that, but I didn't actually sit down and talk about what was going on in my life, about my feelings, and certain events that were going on until I left the relationship.
There's brain damage that goes into being physically, emotionally, and psychologically abused. Therefore you don't always remember everything and that is the importance of journaling. When I started journaling, I started remembering certain moments in the relationship and I started writing about them. I also started writing about how I felt right then and there and the things that were going on at that moment. I had totally forgotten about it because I had hidden it from everybody, including myself. Journaling when you were in a toxic, abusive relationship, will keep you up to date with what is going on.
Here's all the ways we can connect:
Instagram
Facebook
TikTok
RakelColina.com
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