Let's Just Face It

In this podcast episode, I want to share what I think my secret was to leave my narcissist. I thought this was the norm long ago as it was something my mom always told me about, but I also know it is not discussed in many homes.

Not only is it a subject that is not widely discussed, but many women are gaslighted into thinking the opposite. It is important that women understand the importance of having and handling their own money.

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I have a message tugging in my heart for you. I believe the media is trying to tell the victims of domestic abuse that no one will be believed because ONE woman lost her case against a powerful man, as they want to portray it.

The message is clear, but it's not the message the media is showing. The media is showing that a woman should be believed no matter what. The media is saying that only women can be victims and men cannot. This is the wrong message and is also a very dangerous message to take to such a wide audience.

The message that should be sweeping the nation should be, to tell the truth, no matter your gender. The message should be that as long as you are telling the truth, you should come forward. The message should be to NEVER stay silent, but that's not the message. WHY?

Abuse comes in many different shapes and sizes, and now we finally recognize that it comes in different genders...THAT should be the message.

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I had somebody comment on my Instagram page that said to stop demonizing the narcissist, to stop talking bad about them. Well, The only thing that I can believe is that this was another narcissist on the other end and he or she felt that they were attacked and they didn't like it. I said, if this is not something you believe in, you can just scroll away, because this is the thing; there's a lot of trolls out there and they just want to look for fights with just about anybody.

We all have some kind of mental health issue, we are all dealing with some kind of trauma, difference is that we work with trauma differently. Narcissists decide to use their trauma, to abuse people.

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Hoovering is also known as emotional blackmail as part of the emotional abuse provoked by a narcissist, it happens when they think they're losing control of you. It's an attempt to reactivate the connection to make you engage with them once again for another cycle of abuse.

The name Hoovering comes from Hoover, the vacuum cleaner brand. Meaning the narcissists sucks the happiness out of you to fuel their supply. It may look like you're being manipulated through a relationship you didn't want to be with because they start threatening you by becoming suicidal or causing self-harm.

Hoovering might be displayed in many different ways, but it all leads to rekindling the connection between the two of you. It's an emotional manipulation to get you to react and re-engage.

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Today's episode brings a very special guest, Leticia Blaque. We met online and I just fell in love with her story. We tend to believe that abuse is a certain way and at times we believe that it's only happening to us, but Leticia has a very different story because her story begins when she was very young. The trauma that she experienced within her own family unit took her on a spiral that affected her decisions from a very young age.

She talks about how one comment from a family member at a very young age destroyed her belief system, the belief in herself. Taking her on a journey of looking for love and affection in all the wrong places, therefore falling in toxic relationship after toxic relationship. She felt she had to put with the abuse because there was nothing else. She felt she had no alternative route, and her situation and mindset kept her in the same kind of situation.

Then one day, it all clicked for her. She was being arrested for something she didn't even know about and that was the moment it all started falling into place for her. Sometimes we have to fall to the bottom before we can recognize where we are and that happened to Leticia as well. Her story will show that you are not alone and you can get out. If Leticia was able to get back up, after all, she went through, anyone can. Using her abuse to create avalanches of positive results and a better life, and how you can do it too!

You can reach her on Instagram here: blaqueroseaccountable/

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