Knowledge For Men

Update on where I've been and some of the recent events i've been going through. Link mentioned on the show: www.kfmlive.com

William H. McRaven is a former United States Navy admiral who last served as the ninth commander of the United States Special Operations Command from August 8, 2011, to August 28, 2014. Since January 2015, he has served as the chancellor of The University of Texas System.

McRaven previously served from June 13, 2008, to August 2011 as Commander, Joint Special Operations Command (JSOC) and from June 2006 to March 2008 as Commander, Special Operations Command Europe (SOCEUR). In addition to his duties as COMSOCEUR, he was designated as the first director of the NATO Special Operations Forces Coordination Centre (NSCC), where he was charged with enhancing the capabilities and inter-operability of all NATO Special Operations Forces.

Admiral McRaven retired from the Navy on August 28, 2014, after more than 37 years of service.

If by Rudyard Kipling

1. Focus on Doing Your Duties Now

Success in life doesn’t come from focusing on what you are going to do in the future.

It comes from focusing all of your attention on the tasks that are in front of you right now.

Yes, you should have goals, dreams, and aspirations.

However, do not allow these dreams and aspirations to rule the present moment.

Instead, focus on the now, focus on what is right in front of you, focus more on the next 24 hours and less on the next 24 years.

The quickest way to achieve success (whatever your definition of success might be) is to have a plan and then execute on that plan, day in and day out.

Do your duties now and allow tomorrow to take care of itself.

2. You Can’t Make it Alone

Many men like to think that they are an island, they like to believe that they are the Alpha and Omega of their lives.

Until one day, they are struck by the very harsh reality that they are not.

No man, regardless of size, intelligence or other capability has ever “made it” on this planet by themselves.

We were designed for community and teamwork.

One of the fastest ways to achieve your mission, whether that is in business, in your health, or in your relationships is to surround yourself with amazing, like-minded individuals who can help support you and push you along the journey.

With a tight-knit circle of influence, you will be able to accelerate your results, find your blind spots, and receive help when you are outside of your comfort zone.

And more than that, you will have more fun!

Life is a team sport, it’s meant to be played with other people.

So eradicate the erroneous notion that real men do it alone.

Build your tribe and have a blast doing it.

3. What Are You Really Made of?

So often in our modern society, we are quick to judge others (and ourselves) on external factors like height, weight, attractiveness, financial success, and social capital.

But we forget that our worth is defined by how much heart we have, not how much money or muscle we have.

A person’s worth is defined by what’s inside.

Admiral McRaven illustrates this point perfectly in his book when he shares the story of Thomas Norris, a Navy Seal who was awarded the congressional medal of honor.

During training, nearly all of his classmates assumed that Tom would fail.

He was short, skinny, and out of shape compared to the other men.

However, Tom had a level of internal fortitude, mental strength, and heart that few men in the world display.

And his bravery was exemplified repeatedly on the battlefield, especially during the infamous rescue mission that lead to his Congressional Medal of Honor.

Like Tom, many of you might not be what comes to mind physically when people think of an “Alpha” or a “Real Man”.

But that isn’t what matters.

What are you made of?

Who are you?

What is your character like when everything goes wrong and your life is spiraling out of control?

That is what determines your worth as a man.

4. You Are Going to Fail

Read that again.

You are going to fail.

I don’t care how good you are, how smart you are, or how strong you are.

Life will kick you to the curb and beat you senseless at some point in your existence.

This isn’t a speculation.

It’s fact.

You are going to fail!

You might not face the catastrophic failures that come to mind when you hear the word, but at some point in your life, you will be faced with a situation, a business deal, a relationship, or a physical challenge that you simply cannot surmount.

So get over it.

Stop letting this fear of failure rule you and accept that failure is inevitable.

Failure is a sign of life, it is ...

Jon Acuff is the New York Times Bestselling author of six books including his most recent Wall Street Journal #1 Bestseller, Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done.

For over 20 years he’s helped some of the biggest brands in the world tell their story, including The Home Depot, Bose, Staples, and the Dave Ramsey Team. Most recently he’s spoken to hundreds of thousands of people at conferences, colleges, companies and churches. Featured regularly on national media, Jon has been seen on CNN, Fox News, Good Day LA and several other key outlets.

In addition, Jon is also a big proponent of social media with blogs that have been read by 4 million people and almost 300,000 twitter followers. In 2010 he used his influence with his tribe to build two kindergartens in Vietnam. Jon lives with his wife Jenny and two daughters in Franklin, TN.

“Starting is fun, but the future belongs to finishers.”

1. Starting is Fun But Success Belongs to Finishers

Do you remember the last time that you started a new workout program or online course?

Do you remember that warm fuzzy feeling you got in the pit of your stomach while you were starting a journey towards your goals?

Now let me ask you another question...

Do you remember the last time that you actually went through and completely finished a book, workout program, online course, or anything else of importance?

Most of you don’t...

And this doesn’t make you a bad person, it doesn’t make you lazy, it makes you human.

You see, as people we are wired to start things.

Whether we are starting a new diet, a new business, a new book, or whatever else it is, we love starting.

It’s fun, it’s exciting, and it makes us feel important.

Finishing, on the other hand, sucks.

To finish something, you must endure small failures and setbacks, you must persevere even when you don’t feel motivated, and you must keep pushing through the parts that don’t feel particularly exciting or fun.

But success belongs to finishers.

No one became successful by starting something.

They became successful by following it through to the end and finishing.

When you realize this, when you truly internalize this principle, everything will change.

2. Perfectionism will Break You

Nothing will wreck your goals, limit your potential, and destroy your plans more than perfectionism.

Nothing.

Perfectionism is merely an alibi for inaction. It’s an excuse to do nothing.

Whereas the non-perfectionist says “I know that I can’t do xyz perfectly with my current resources, what can I do to move things forward anyways.”

The perfectionist says “I know that I can’t do xyz perfectly so why even bother doing it at all?”

When you operate from this framework, you are setting yourself up to fail.

No one succeeds when they have a commitment to perfection.

Because, quite simply, perfection cannot exist.

There will always be something that prevents you from achieving true perfection which means there will always be something that prevents you from finishing your goals, no matter what they are.

If you want to live a great life and have a lot of fun doing so, then I challenge you to eradicate the word “Perfect” from your vocabulary.

Focus on getting things done and finishing.

Because success belongs to the finishers.

3. Slow it Down and Cut it Back

Once you have committed to being a “Finisher” and not a perfectionist, it’s easy to get overwhelmed.

You have all of these goals and big dreams that you want to achieve, but they just seem so daunting and scary.

Take a deep breath, relax, and realize that it’s going to be ok.

Instead of stressing yourself out and killing yourself to achieve arbitrarily set goals that don’t have any real significance in your life, slow things down and cut back.

Here’s what I mean.

Let’s say that your goal is to lose 15 lbs. in the next month.

While it’s admirable that you want to lose weight, it’s also a foolish goal.

You are simply trying to do too much too quickly.

Why do you need to lose so much weight in the next 30 days? What’s so significant about the next month that you are willing to starve yourself to death in order to hit an arbitrary weight goal?

Instead, let’s take the finisher’s approach.

Cut the goal in half and double the timeline.

Now, instead of 15 lbs. in 30 days, it’s 7 lbs. in 60 days.

That means you need to...

Tal Gur, a blogger, entrepreneur, and devoted adventurer, has spent a decade pursuing 100 major goals around the globe. But his journey had its challenges.

Like most people, he faced crippling self-doubt and struggled for a sense of purpose. Behind every difficulty, he discovered a life-changing gift, and now he’s passing what he learned onto others. You can connect with him and learn more at talgur.me

“Happiness before goals”

1. Put Your Happiness Before Goals

Happiness should not be something that we defer until we achieve a specific goal.

It should be a state of being that we cultivate every single day. It should be an emotion that we make incredibly easy to achieve.

If you are reading this blog right now you have a lot to feel happy about. You have your sight. You have an internet connection and a device that is more powerful than the computers NASA used to put a man on the moon. You have full control of your brain and an ability to comprehend complex ideas and sentences.

You have a LOT to be happy about.

So act like it. Lower your barrier to happiness.

Make a conscious effort to cultivate more happiness in your life by making it stupid simple to feel happy.

When you wake up each morning, take a moment to feel happy for the warm sheets and cozy blankets covering your body. When you walk into work (even if you hate it) be happy that you have some sort of employment. When you come home each day, be happy that you have a roof over your head and food in your belly.

Be happy now.

Because now is all that we have.

2. Fulfillment is Dependent on Direction

So often people assume that fulfillment is dependent on achieving some goal or arriving at some arbitrary destination.

It’s not.

Fulfillment should depend on one thing and one thing only... Direction.

Sit down in a quiet place later this week and really ask yourself what direction you want to take your life.

Don’t tie this to a specific goal or outcome, simply a direction.

Do you want to move in the direction of more physical fitness? Greater financial freedom? More love and abundance?

Whatever you decide, write it down and then commit to take three actions each day that move you in that direction.

3. Pain is a Messenger

Most people try to ignore or hide from pain. This is like trying to put a bandaid on cancer.

Pain is a messenger. It’s there to tell you that something is broken and you need to fix it.

If you have a broken arm, a shot of morphine will numb the pain but it won’t solve the problem. You need to visit a hospital, get a cast, and allow your bones to heal.

Pain in your life is the same way.

If you are depressed, anxious, or feeling overwhelmed... Good.

This is a sign that something in your life isn’t working. And you have the power to fix it.

Whenever you experience pain don’t run from it. Feel it. Experience it fully and sit in it for a few hours.

Ask yourself, “What is this pain trying to tell me?”

Are you in the wrong job or relationship? Struggling to be disciplined with your finances? Overweight and unhealthy?

Before you run from the pain always try to uncover why you are experiencing pain in the first place.

Because until you solve the root cause of the problem, you will never truly overcome the pain.

4. Focus on Financial Freedom First

People will often begin their journey of self-transformation by trying to fix their relationships, their career, or pursuing more of their passions.

In most cases, this approach is completely backward.

The first step that you should take to building your dream life and achieving your biggest goals is to achieve financial freedom.

Until you have the money to do what you want, when you want, with whom you want, everything else should be secondary.

Financial freedom will revolutionize every aspect of your life.

It will allow you to travel more and pursue your passions with greater ease. It will allow you to have more choices in your relationships and care for the people you love. It will allow you to take care of your body and give yourself the care and attention you truly need.

Financial freedom opens the doors of life and allows you to pursue your dreams on your terms.

Focus on getting your money right first, and the rest will follow.

5. Pick One Thing and Stick With it to Completion

One of the most powerful ways to improve your quality of life is to master the art of single focusing on a task to completion.

Life isn’t short. We make it short by chasing too many goals at once and filling our time with unnecessary garbage.

By learning to pick a goal or project and see it through to completion, you will unlock one of the master ...

Lewis Howes is a lifestyle entrepreneur, high performance business coach, author and keynote speaker. A former professional football player and two-sport All-American, he is a current USA Men’s National Handball Team athlete. Lewis hosts The School of Greatness podcast, which has received millions of downloads since it launched in 2013.

Lewis was recognized by The White House and President Obama as one of the top 100 entrepreneurs in the country under 30. He is a contributing writer for Entrepreneur and Yahoo.com and has been featured in The New York Times, Forbes, Men’s Health, The Today Show and other major media outlets.

“No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care”

1. Show that You Care

As men, we have a pathological need to feel important, to feel special, to feel powerful.

To fill this need, most of us walk through our lives searching for ways to make other people see how important we are.

We work ourselves to death at jobs that we hate so that we can afford to buy things we don’t need.

We stay in relationships that we should have left years ago because the person that we are dating is attractive and popular.

We live our lives for the approval and validation of others while forgetting one obvious truth.

No one cares.

Seriously... No one cares about how much money you have, how hot your girl friend is, or how many horsepower your car has.

The people in your life are struggling with plenty of trials and struggles as it is, do you really think they’re going to care that you bought a “Luxury Class” Mercedes instead of a Standard?

What people want and desperately need isn’t another person who’s caught up in their own lives.. What they need is someone who cares, someone who listens, someone who is real.

The people in your life are dying to connect, they are dying for someone who is real, they are dying for someone who genuinely cares about them and is willing to listen and be present.

If you really want to impress someone (which shouldn’t be your focus to begin with), then show them how much you care, don’t show them how much you have.

2. Vulnerability is the Key to Freedom

If you are reading this right now, then chances are good that you’ve been hurt. Some of you have been hurt so deeply and so profoundly that you have never shared your pain with another living soul.

And it sucks...

When you’ve experienced trauma and pain in your life, it’s easy to get stuck in your head, to become isolated and believe that you are alone or that no one would love you if they knew the truth.

In an effort to protect yourself and others, you put up a wall between yourself and the people that you love, closing yourself off from the people who care for you the most.

And then you let the pain sit inside of you and simmer.

Until one day, that simmer turns into a boil and you find yourself exploding in ways that you never thought possible.

Until one day, the wounds have become so deep and so painful that they change who you are.

This is the path that most men take...

Most men refuse to seek help, guidance of support in times of trauma and suffering. They think they have everything figured out and do their best to act the part.

But I’ll let you in on a little secret.... You are killing yourself and you are killing your relationships.

The past only has power over us so long as we allow it to.

When you are willing to embrace vulnerability, trust the people in your life, and open up about your deepest fears, regrets, and experiences, your whole life will change.

For Lewis, this meant opening up about the sexual abuse he experienced as a child.

For nearly 25 years, he’d kept the pain bottled inside until one day, it all came out on a basketball court and he got into a vicious fight with another player.

The encounter shocked and humbled him and made him realize that he needed to talk to someone and he needed to get help.

And so he did, he opened up to a select group of people about what had happened to him as a child and, much to his surprise, the response he received was nothing but love.

People told him that they could trust him more, that they felt more connected, and that they respected him on a deeper level because of the pain and trauma he experienced.

As time went on and he shared his truth with more and more people, he eventually arrived at a point in his life where he could share his story without feeling the pain in the same way.

Through sharing his authentic truth and being vulnerable, he healed the wounds of the past.

But what about you?

What are you holding onto that you need to let go? What pain has been keeping you back and weighing you down?

I want you to write that thing down right no...