The Complicated Relationships with Our Bodies

01/26/22 • 72 min

Inner Archeology with Sarah Turner & Emily Pennystone

There are few issues as thorny as body image, but who better to open the discussion than best friends with very different perspectives? Today on Inner Archeology, we talk all about our bodies and how Emily has spent years coming to terms with hers, while Sarah didn't struggle with this too much — which, weirdly enough, created other insecurities. We dive into the reasons why each of them has experienced body image the way they have, as well as why it’s so important to include people who are “on the outside” of an issue in the discussion. Find out how pregnancy and motherhood changed Emily’s perspective, and why science inspired Sarah to revere her body. We address the impact of our role models and the media on our own body image, as well as how patriarchal expectations have negatively influenced women’s appreciation for pleasure. S Sarah describes her experiences exploring other people’s concepts of sexuality, and how this has contributed to her confidence in her own body. Emily reveals why she feels we have a choice in our appreciation for our bodies, families, and situations, and why she is teaching her daughters to include their bodies and their good health in their daily gratitude. For all this, and so much more, tune in today!

Key Points From This Episode:

An introduction to today’s topic (body image), and why it makes Sarah uncomfortable.
Why Emily developed a negative self-image and the experiences that reinforced it.
How Sarah’s learned to give people space to talk about their body image issues.
Why society and people shut down discussions around body image.
How pregnancy and motherhood made Emily appreciate her body for the incredible vessel that it is.
Challenging the narrative that you can’t speak about issues that you’ve never experienced.
How science helped Sarah develop a positive body image through reverence.
The impact of different religions on women’s body image.
How sharing your struggles to help others gives your life meaning.
The idea of being in a relationship with your body: treat it like a beloved partner or friend.
Finding pleasure in your body, and how it links to body image.
How society’s views on women’s bodies and breastfeeding are shifting, and why the old views enrage Sarah.
Why exploring your own, and others' concepts of sexuality and attraction can lead to a more positive body image.
Where we develop our ideas around body image: the media or our mothers?
How experiencing the wonder of birth can encourage reverence for the human body in all its forms.
Emily’s belief that we chose the vessel that we most needed, and why it helps her accept her body.
Why including your body and your good health in your daily gratitude can help you develop a positive body image.
The value of discussing different personal issues with a variety of people: new insights.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Kevin James Thornton

The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself

Inner Archeology Email

Sarah Turner on Instagram

Emily Pennystone on Instagram

Key Points From This Episode:

An introduction to today’s topic (body image), and why it makes Sarah uncomfortable.
Why Emily developed a negative self-image and the experiences that reinforced it.
How Sarah’s learned to give people space to talk about their body image issues.
Why society and people shut down discussions around body image.
How pregnancy and motherhood made Emily appreciate her body for the incredible vessel that it is.
Challenging the narrative that you can’t speak about issues that you’ve never experienced.
How science helped Sarah develop a positive body image through reverence.
The impact of different religions on women’s body image.
How sharing your struggles to help others gives your life meaning.
The idea of being in a relationship with your body: treat it like a beloved partner or friend.
Finding pleasure in your body, and how it links to body image.
How society’s views on women’s bodies and breastfeeding are shifting, and why the old views enrage Sarah.
Why exploring your own, and others' concepts of sexuality and attraction can lead to a more positive body image.
Where we develop our ideas around body image: the media or our mothers?
How experiencing the wonder of birth can encourage reverence for the human body in all its forms.
Emily’s belief that we chose the vessel that we most needed, and why it helps her accept her body.
Why including your body and your good health in your daily gratitude can help you develop a positive body image.
The value of discussing different personal issues with a variety of people: new insights.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Kevin James Thornton

The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself

Inner Archeology Email

Sarah Turner on Instagram

Emily Pennystone on Instagram

Previous Episode

Being Comfortable in Paradox

As humans, we like to see things in black and white but in fact, life is so nuanced, complex, and dynamic, and there is hardly anything that’s entirely good or entirely bad. Rather than thinking of things as “either, or” we should be thinking about them as “both, and.” The traits that you see as your biggest weaknesses are likely to also be some of your greatest strengths. We’re both on our own personal development journeys, constantly learning about ourselves and each other, and in this episode (as always) we let you into our heads as we discuss paradoxical personalities, contradictory beliefs, trauma responses, and the importance of being flexible and open to change.

Key Points From This Episode:

The unexpected interaction that we had during one of our previous episodes, The Mystic and the Scientist.
How other people can impact the way we present ourselves.
The value that lies in having discussions about ideas that are not fully formed.
Sarah shares an example of how she and her romantic partner complement one another.
Paradoxes in our personalities.
Another podcast episode that everybody should listen to!
Reasons that we attract certain people.
An explanation of the concept of ‘splitting the ambivalence.’
What traveling teaches Sarah about herself.
Why flexibility is key to the success of a relationship.
How Emily’s religious trauma affected her choice of partners.
Step one in the challenging process of changing established patterns.
What a morning routine can bring to your life.
Our experiences of breaking out of the boxes that other people have put us into.
The core of most conflict situations, and how understanding this can improve your relationships.
Important learnings that can come from trauma responses.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Sarah Turner on Instagram

Emily Pennystone on Instagram

Brene Brown Podcast [Esther Perel Interview]

Next Episode

What To Do When You're Triggered

When you are triggered, it can feel like your life is at risk, but if we can develop skills to cope in these situations, they can become opportunities to heal from our deepest wounds. Today on the show we unpack the spectrum of typical responses to triggering situations and share some of the biggest lessons we have learned to help work through these feelings. We start by defining triggers as experiences that bring about a fight or flight response and then share memories of the different ways that we have reacted in moments like these. As far as coping mechanisms go, you’ll hear a range of physical techniques that can help you situate yourself back into your body as well as the present moment. We also share a series of mental exercises involving visualization and mindfulness that assist with reframing a triggering situation in a way that makes it manageable. One of the biggest takeaways from today is that everybody is different: just as our reactions to our triggers are unique, so too should our responses be. So tune in and hear a few tips for handling triggers that can set you on the path to growth and healing.

Key Points From This Episode:

Our increasing reliance on technology and the need to take a break from being online.
Differences between being triggered and offended and how the former is more severe.
The evolution of fight or flight responses and how being triggered causes the same feeling.
How to respond to being triggered in a way that quells the fight or flight feeling.
Stories about how Emily responded to triggering situations by running away.
Sarah’s tendency to respond by fighting and how this plays out with Ben.
The different ways that being triggered feels to people.
Why it is important to reflect on your way of being triggered to handle things better.
The consequences Emily and Sarah experience after being triggered badly.
Handling being triggered by remembering that the ‘offender’ didn’t mean you harm.
Grasping the severity of the harmful ways we treat ourselves by saying them out loud.
The work that Sarah did to become mindful of her destructive inner voice.
Uncovering your deepest wounds by becoming aware of your inner narrative.
Sarah’s experiences on the days after she was triggered or operating on ‘high beta’.
Why Emily wants to fight in moments where her trigger involves her children.
Bodily experiences that Emily and Sarah have while being triggered.
Perspectives on this idea that your triggers are your teachers.
The value of informing the people who are close to you about your triggers.
Tools for calming down in triggering situations such as box breathing and going outside.
Hacking your nervous system into being more present using tapping.
Different ways of bringing yourself back to your body and being present.
A mental exercise to separate yourself from bad feelings when triggered.