Telling Mom She’s Also Biased

06/27/22 • 20 min

How to Talk to [Mamí & Papí] about Anything

While speaking to her Korean mom about anti-Asian violence amidst the COVID-19 pandemic, Phyllis must also confront her family's prejudice. And racial justice attorney and activist Manjusha Kulkarni offers advice for talking with parents about challenging racial discrimination.

Phylllis writes about parenting, race and diversity, and being raised by an immigrant family on her blog, The Napkin Hoarder.

Featured Expert:

Manjusha P. Kulkarni (Manju) is Executive Director of AAPI Equity Alliance (AAPI Equity), which serves and represents the 1.5 million Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders in Los Angeles County. In March 2020, Manju co-founded Stop AAPI Hate, the nation’s leading aggregator of COVID-19-related hate incidents against AAPIs. Stop AAPI Hate analyzes data to better understand what is happening, where, and to whom, and uses this information to advocate for resources and solutions, including the passage of local, state, and national policies that strengthen human rights and civil rights protections, dismantle systemic racism, and address root causes of discrimination and bigotry. They also work on narrative change to impact how racism is understood and shift attitudes in the general public to acknowledge anti-AAPI hate as a long-standing problem. In 2021, Manju was recognized by TIME magazine as one of the 100 most influential individuals and by Bloomberg/Business Week as one of the 50 individuals “with the ability to move markets or shape ideas and policies,” along with the co-founders of Stop AAPI Hate, Cynthia Choi and Russell Jeung. They also won the 2021 Webby Social Movement of the Year. Manju is a member of the LA City Ethics Commission and was recently appointed to the California Racial and Identity Profiling Advisory Board by CA Assembly Speaker Anthony Rendon. She holds a BA degree from Duke University and a JD degree from Boston University School of Law.

If you liked this show listen to When Our Parents Don't See Their Bias and OG Check-in: Even a Pro Finds it Hard to Talk about Racism with Dad.

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Phylllis writes about parenting, race and diversity, and being raised by an immigrant family on her blog, The Napkin Hoarder.

Featured Expert:

If you liked this show listen to When Our Parents Don't See Their Bias and OG Check-in: Even a Pro Finds it Hard to Talk about Racism with Dad.

Previous Episode

Convincing Mamí My Depression Is Not About Her

When Ashley turned to therapy and medication for her depression she worried her Puerto Rican mom would feel guilty. And MarySue Heilemann, a nurse and researcher who studies transmedia and the mental well-being of Latinas, busts myths around mental health treatments and offers tips for getting our parents to accept our choices.

Featured Expert:

Dr. MarySue Heilemann, PhD, RN, FAAN is a professor at the UCLA School of Nursing and an Associate Director of the UCLA National Clinicial Scholars Program. Dr. Heilemann integrates issues of motivation, resilience, intergenerational cultural expectations, social justice, and gender issues in her work. Her area of expertise is three-fold: media-based interventions, methodologically-driven qualitative research, and mental health. Her focus has been on symptom management, motivation to seek help and engage in mental health care, and the enhancement of resilience among Latinas in the U.S. Dr. Heilemann has pioneered the use of transmedia in health interventions related to mental health and was a delegate to speak on the topic to the United Nations-Commission on the Status of Women in 2018. (Transmedia involves the use of storytelling over multiple digital platforms accessible on smart phones, tablets, or computers via the Internet). Her current work involves Hollywood-quality, data-informed, story-based, character-driven transmedia interventions to reduce symptoms and increase help seeking among Latinas struggling with depression and/or anxiety. She has mentored graduate students, post-doctoral scholars, and young faculty in qualitative research at UCLA and internationally and is also devoted to scholarship to improve the accuracy of portrayals of nurses in film and television. Learn more about her work and research on transmedia storytelling and mental health intervention here.

MarySue recommends this cool multilingual resource to help you and loved ones understand mental health.

If you liked this show listen to Telling Mamí She Needs Mental Health and Explaining She's Isolated, Depressed, and Caring for a Newborn.

Next Episode

She Told Her Mom Dad Sexually Abused Her

As an adult, Lorilee made the decision to disclose to her Filipina mom the sexual abuse she says she endured as a child. And Mira Yusef, advocate and community organizer against gender-based violence, speaks with Juleyka about how to have hard conversations about abuse, disclosure and accountability.

Lorilee is the host of Trauma Survivor Thriver’s Podcast. You can learn more about her work here.

Featured Expert:

Mira Yusef is Executive Director of Monsoon Asians & Pacific Islanders in Solidarity, an organization serving victims/survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault in Asian and Pacific Islander communities in Iowa. She is also one of the founders and one of the staff of the National Organization of Asian Pacific Islanders Ending Sexual Violence (NAPIESV), a program under Monsoon Asians & Pacific Islanders in Solidarity, with a mission to support local and international community-based programs and governmental organizations in enhancing their services to victims of sexual violence from the Asian and Pacific Islander communities in the U.S., U.S. Territories, and Asia. Mira has a Master’s in Social Work, with specialization in Community Organizing, and a Master of Arts in Southeast Asian Studies from the University of Michigan. As a recipient of a Fulbright Fellowship, 2004-2005, she did research in the Philippines on Muslim Filipinas employed as domestic workers in the Middle East.

Mira recommends the work of transformative justice and disability justice educator Mia Mingus, and this cool resource from activist Mimi Kim.

The national sexual assault hotline offers confidential support for survivors of sexual abuse, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The number is 800-656-4673. That's 1-800-656-HOPE. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline also offers 24/7 confidential support. Their number is 800-273-8255.

If you liked this show listen to How to Teach Consent in Our Families, and Not Your Mamí's Sex Ed.