She Had to Choose Her Career Over Her Parents

09/14/20 • 20 min

How to Talk to [Mamí & Papí] about Anything

As a kid, Olga loved writing and developed a passion for journalism. But her parents, immigrants from the former U.S.S.R., strongly opposed her choices, fearing the financial prospects were slim. Long-standing arguments created a rift in their relationship that grew worse over time—leading her to choose between her calling and her family. In this episode, Juleyka also speaks with a career coach about how feminist women can negotiate and find common ground with our parents.

Featured Expert:

Cynthia Pong is a nationally recognized, award-winning, NYU-trained lawyer turned career coach whose passion is helping women of color realize their ambitious career goals. She also loves partnering with organizations that are truly invested in seeing their employees of color succeed, excel, and thrive. Cynthia’s career advice is frequently cited in press pieces on platforms including The Atlantic, CBS News, Good Morning America, NPR, Refinery29, Fast Company, and HuffPost. In 2019, she was selected as a LinkedIn Top Voice in Job Search and Career. She has received recognition and awards from the Unfinished Business Initiative and IFundWomen Of Color.In 2021, Cynthia created and launched the Embrace Change Leadership Accelerator, a program for women of color across industries. It was fully funded after 22 days of crowdfunding and 134% funded after one month through a campaign that raised 59 times the average amount raised through crowdfunding. In 2022, Cynthia created and launched the Embrace Change Speakers Bureau, the only speakers bureau dedicated to centering and amplifying the voices of women of color speakers on stages everywhere. You can visit her website here and learn about her book here.

If you loved this episode, be sure to check out She Loves Her Work, Her Parents Don't Get It and Struggling to Become More than a Dutiful Daughter.

We’d love to hear your stories of triumph and frustration so send us a detailed voice memo to [email protected]. You might be on a future episode! Let’s connect on Twitter and Instagram at @TalkToMamiPapi and email us at [email protected]. And subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify and anywhere you listen to your favorite podcasts.

Featured Expert:

If you loved this episode, be sure to check out She Loves Her Work, Her Parents Don't Get It and Struggling to Become More than a Dutiful Daughter.

Previous Episode

Your Passions, And What to Say When Parents Ask "Why Are You Doing That?"

Sisters Taranjit and Bhavneet have lots of interests outside of their work in science, including their podcast, Drive with Us. But their Indian parents seem to always ask "Why are you doing this?" in ways that discourage and alienate them. Today, we're looking at what happens when more traditional ideas about work and purpose clash with a desire to venture out and try new things. A marriage and family therapist who specializes in transitions shares ways to connect.

Check out the Drive with Us podcast here.

Featured Expert:

Sonica Thakur is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Professional Clinical Counselor based in the San-Francisco/Palo Alto area. She has extensive experience working with young adults and individuals of various backgrounds and ethnicities, including the South Asian community. Learn more about her work here. You can visit her website here.

If you loved this episode, be sure to check out She Loves Her Work, Her Parents Don't Get It and At Home, Being An Adult Is Testing Parental Limits.

Next Episode

The Mixed Privilege of Being a White Immigrant

Vanessa’s mother moved from Germany to the U.S. as an adult. Vanessa, who was born in the U.S., immigrated to Canada and finds herself comparing their experiences in their adopted countries as she watches her home country from The North. Then, Juleyka speaks with a sociologist who puts citizenship and belonging into a larger context.

Featured Expert:

Irene Bloemraad (Ph.D. Harvard; M.A. McGill) is the Class of 1951 Professor of Sociology at the University of California, Berkeley. She also serves as the Thomas Garden Barnes Chair of Canadian Studies at Berkeley, is the founding Director of the Berkeley Interdisciplinary Migration Initiative, and co-directs the Boundaries, Membership and Belonging program of the Canadian Institute for Advanced Research. In 2014-15, she was a member of the U.S. National Academies of Sciences committee reporting on the integration of immigrants into American society. Learn more about her work on interdisciplinary migration here.

If you loved this episode, be sure to check out Dad Denies Systemic Racism and A Historical Wound He's Trying to Understand.