Polyamory History

Explicit content warning

01/26/25 • -1 min

How To Sex

An essay on the history of Polyamory.

By darkgoddess2478. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

What is Polyamory?

Polyamory means "loving more than one". This love may be sexual, emotional, spiritual, or a combination thereof, according to the desires and agreement of the individuals involved. "Polyamorous" is also used as descriptive term by people who are open to more than one relationship even if they are not currently involved in more than one. It is behaving in ways which are honest, and which make you, and the people you care about, and the people they care about happy and fulfilled. Polyamory is about building new configurations of relationships, being open to the opportunity if it comes along, not refusing commitments because something better might come loping down the path.

This is an interesting question. What is Polyamory? The definition above states it just simply as "loving more than one". Kathy Labriola defines Polyamory as an intense loving relationship between two or more people. Polyamory literally means many loves. Good enough for the simple definitions that tell you absolutely nothing important. Let's start with where the poly movement began.

Polyamory in the United States began as polygamy with Joseph Smith, the founder of the Mormon religion, or The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Through a series of visions, Smith announced polygamy to his followers as a part of Mormon spirituality in 1843 and Brigham Young publicly announced this practice in 1852. Polygamy allowed men to marry more than one wife as long as he could provide for everyone in his family.

The Mormons were sexually conservative and rejected the ideals of romantic love, intense courtship and contraception. Sex was seen merely as a device for procreation. Extramarital affairs, premarital sex, and all sexual acts that would not directly lead to conception were strictly forbidden and enforced at a cost of death or emasculation. The reasoning stands that polygamy was not for the purpose of sex, but as a way to have as many children as possible.

Since the Christian doctrine did not allow for polygamy, the Mormons were the subject of hate from many sources, mainly Protestant missionaries and women writers who "attempted to emancipate plural wives from their alleged sexual slavery." (D'Emilio and Freedman 117) Even though our country preached freedom of religion, from the 1860's to the 1880's the federal government prosecuted Mormons who practiced polygamy. Given this opposition, the Mormons withdrew their approval for polygamy in 1890.

Most polyamorous families are not all married to one another. There is usually a primary couple who are married and the others who consider themselves married, but do not have an actual marriage certificate. Some of the families live together and others have separate living quarters where the father and husband visit frequently. In the families that live together, the child rearing and household responsibilities are shared. In all ethical cases, all the wives know about each other and support the decision of their husband taking on the new partner.

Kathy Labriola, a counselor and nurse, defines Polyamory as "an intense loving relationship between members of the same sex or those of the opposite sex". Some polyamorous people are married, others are single: Polyamorous people may be heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual. The Polyamorous system does not have to be a sexual system, but it can be.

Most of the cynicism given to Polyamory is due to people thinking Polyamory is for sexual practices. Kilbride in "Plural Marriage for our Times: A Reinvented Option?" states, In linking sexuality to marriage we generally view having multiple marital partners, as resulting predominately from sex drive.

Of the various reasons why plural marriage occurs, a sexual outlet is minimized within a wider, more general body of needs and functions considered important for both individuals and the wider society. This statement agrees that the practice of polygamy is not about sex. As was stated earlier, the Mormons used polygamy as a way of advancing their religion and baptizing their ancestors, not for greater sexual acts. The people who practice Polyamory today use Polyamory as a means of freedom of expression and bettering themselves as people. Since they have found tha...

An essay on the history of Polyamory.

By darkgoddess2478. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

What is Polyamory?

Previous Episode

A Fucking Bucket List

How Many Positions Have You Tried?

By silk stockings lover. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

Several classic books detail the dozens of positions for fucking. In the 70’s, The Joy of Sex was a big hit.

It inspired great fucking, and some occasional trips to the emergency room, with some embarrassing admissions, especially at the Catholic hospitals where nuns circulated and prayed for injured patients.

But most couples fell deeper in love with each other, and late night tv ratings dropped, as couples turned in earlier.

Today we’re inviting silk stockings lover to talk to us about sexual variety, particularly sex positions. Her many presentations have helped many couples turn boredom and monotony into exciting new adventures in coupling. Her she is.

Sex Positions

Most couples end up using one, two or three positions over and over.

Which, by the way, makes sense.

They work.

But sticking to the variety is the spice of life concept of this essay; the best way to do that is to explore the hundreds of positions you can try.

Some new ones you will love.

Some new ones you will not.

Some will be like how the fuck would that even work.

But just trying something new together is fun.

Don't take it seriously.

Have fun.

Laugh.

Communicate.

Know when to give up if a position isn't working or isn't comfortable for one of you. Don't keep doing it if you are uncomfortable; sex should be enjoyable for both parties.

Acknowledge that this will be a lengthier encounter likely and if all goes to hell in a handbasket you can always go back to three go-to positions or do oral.

No reason you both shouldn't get off regardless of how well or how bad a new position goes.

While you can buy entire books on positions (I have a position per day book which has some great positions, you can find positions online and even on apps, I will offer you ten that I think are great ones to both enjoy and mixed it up a little without getting too wild.

A. The Corkscrew

This is one of our now go to positions. For one, he likes standing up during sex for some reason; I don't really.

But I do like being on my side for sex; so this one is a great compromise for what we both like.

I position myself at the edge the bed. I bend my ass so my cunt is easily accessible while I usually grab a pillow for my head. He stands on the side of the bed and slides into me.

For some reason, he tells me I feel tighter this way.

Also, I should note, he comes faster this way.

Fun variation: I will put my vibrator pressing against my clit during this position to really experience intense pleasure inside and out.

B. The Piledriver

Now I'm not sure if there is a better name for it; or an official name; but this is without a doubt my husband's favourite position and can be done pretty easily in a variety of places. Like the corkscrew he is usually standing, although not always, and I am usually at the edge of the bed.

He grabs me by the ankles, pulls my legs and feet together and then simply penetrates from this position. Because my legs are together sliding inside can be more challenging so I recommend either penetrating the vagina first or having some lube generously lathered on the penis.

Once in, he can control the depth and angle and I am his submissive fuck toy. The stimulation in this position is great for me as well.

A major bonus is he can rest his body against my nylon-clad legs, caress them and even kiss, lick and smell my stocking-clad toes.

Fun variation: he can continue to hold my ankles, spread me wide and pile drive me that way.

C. The Dragon

I love this position. For one, it is a very submissive position. I used to call it the pile driver part two; although they are very different positions and stimulations.

In this position, I lay on my stomach on a bed (this position you definitely need to be on a bed), and he lies on top of me and penetrates me from the top. (Obviously, this would be a great position for anal as well, but we are discussing vaginal penetration here).

Next Episode

A Guy's Guide To His First Date

A How-To guide for Those terrified about the other sex.

With contributions from DG Hear. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

Throughout the years dating has changed. Those who have gone back into dating in recent years, for whatever reason, have probably found it's a whole new ball game. But more than a few people enter their twenties, still terrified to initiate a romantic venture.
Some are still impacted by traumatic events of their youth. Still others are limited because of harmful indoctrination by an influential person whose even more screwed up. And some are just simply so shy, and terrified that they might face rejection, or even ridicule.
Folks re-entering the dating scene, later in life, have a similar anxiety, because of societal changes, over time.
Most cultures still expect a guy to take the initiative. While gals are not scorned for overtly expressing interest first; the reality is that ladies are generally feeling even more anxiety about the elusive first date.
One of the easiest ways to ‘break the ice’ is with eye contact and a warm smile, while greeting someone you have particular interest in. If the other person is ‘caught off guard’ you might not get an immediate affirmation of their interest. But be patient. They’ll think about it and make adjustments upon re-engagement with you; usually by their own initiative.
Teens have this crazy notion of establishing a ‘going with’ status, rather than simply having one social event together. Kids tell you who they’re ‘going with’ even though they never went anywhere.
If your cordial relationship seems mutually reciprocated, It’s time to ask; “Can I take you out on a date?”
If that works out well, Have the date soon. It doesn’t need to be a big event, or include expensive meals or concerts.
The truth is, what you both really are looking forward to is, each other. Trust me, a girl will text her girlfriend after, and she won’t talk about the places she went to, she’ll talk about the guy who took her there.
When you’re first date is nearly over, ask to hold her hand as you walk to the car, or to her home. An enthusiastic response means she likes you. She may want you to kiss her when you say ‘good night.’
Be sure to get all her contact info before the date is over. And send her a text within a day, thanking her for sharing a date with you.
Take some time to assess if you want a 2nd date, or if what you really want is someone else. Separate, in your mind, whether it’s her you like, or dating, itself.
Getting past your first brave dating effort is a huge accomplishment, and you should feel great about it. If you’re still looking for the ‘right one,’ your next effort will be easier than your first brave act. But how do you find the kind of person you really want to pursue?
Let’s hear more from DG, about getting into the dating arena.
How to find someone to date:
To begin, we need to know some of the places to find someone willing to go out with us. This shouldn't be too hard to do. I might say, before I start that, most of my comments and helpful hints are mainly for the male gender, but some ladies might find some interesting facts as well.
Malls and movie houses can be a good place to meet people as well as the Laundromat and your local bars and lounges. A nicer way is if you are lucky enough to have friends to help you find that right person. If all else fails, you can go on-line and find a friend or nowadays we have rent-a-date escort services. If you can't find at least a hooker then you might as well stop reading now. I can't help you. Just buy your hand a beer and watch a porno movie.
Even though this is some serious stuff I'm explaining to you, we still might find a laugh or two.
How-to guide for kissing:
Kissing used to be easy, but not anymore. First, let's deal with braces. If your woman (this stuff is for adults) wears braces, be very careful and kiss her lips very softly. If you apply too much pressure, her lips will push against her gums and cut the hell out of the inside of her lips and your date will be over before it began.
If you both wear braces, you might stick to kissing on the cheek only. If you get caught in a big lip lock, you might get your braces locked together also. You won't even be able to make it to the hospital unless you...