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Goodpods has curated a list of the 10 best How To Sex episodes, ranked by the number of listens and likes each episode have garnered from our listeners. If you are listening to How To Sex for the first time, there's no better place to start than with one of these standout episodes. If you are a fan of the show, vote for your favorite How To Sex episode by adding your comments to the episode page.
How to Make Her Scream
How To Sex
03/14/25 • -1 min
A general guide to the core of a woman's sexual desire.
By Lillianna Morgan. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.Written for all men who wish their wives/partners would have more sex with them, and for all women who wish the men in their lives knew how to really please them.
Frustration; it's a bitch; it can be good, really good, or very, very bad. The idea is to make the sexual frustration great for her, so that when the time comes, she is so wild for you, the sex is mind blowing for both of you. This can happen every time, if you know what to do, and how to approach her the right way.
There are THREE KEYS to mind blowing sex.
1 Knowing Your Partner's Needs
2 Planning: Take Your Time
3 Tease Her: Make Her Wild
No matter how tempted you are, and I know you are, DON'T skip down to number three. Take a few minutes and learn something other women will probably never tell you, but ALL of them wish you knew.
1. KNOW YOUR PARTNERS NEEDS: You HAVE to know what she likes and doesn't like, not just sexually, but emotionally as well. If she is frustrated emotionally, you aren't gonna get anywhere with her. Meet her emotional needs first. If she is not feeling loved, or appreciated, if you have troubles in your relationship, then take the time to fix it. THEN focus on the sexual needs. (Usually bad sex is what creates the core of relationship problems.)
Not every woman is the same, and not every woman will reach orgasm the same way. Some never will because their partner is too impatient, or her EMOTIONAL needs aren't being met. If your too embarrassed, or impatient to ask why she isn't enjoying it, (if she isn't climaxing, she isn't enjoying it) she will be very reluctant to have sex with you. If your wife/partner consistently refuses your advances, makes excuses, rolls her eyes, snorts, laughs, and won't give you any; YOUR most likely the source of the problem. WHY? An emotionally and sexually satisfied woman will not refuse her man sex, at least for long. She will hunger for it, like a cat in heat.
If you can't answer these questions, don't be so quick to call her frigid. When a man really knows what his woman wants, and actually takes the time to give it to her, she will almost NEVER refuse him intimacy. She won't WANT to refuse you. In fact, once you master the three keys, she may be the one begging you for sex.
THE 20 QUESTIONS:
1; What are her sexual fantasies?
2; What gets her in the mood?
3; What turns her off?
4; Is she stressed, depressed or angry?
5; Is she feeling loved by you?
6; Is she feeling desirable to you?
7; How does she like to be touched?
8; How does she hate to be touched?
9; How does she like to touch herself?
10; How does she WISH you would touch her?
11; What makes her feel more relaxed?
12; What makes her feel uncomfortable?
13; What makes her hot for YOU?
14; What makes her hesitant to initiate sex?
15; What makes her hesitant to tell you want she likes?
Ask her these questions first:
16; What kind of relationship do we have now?
17; What kind of relationship do you want?
18; What would it take to move our relationship to a "10" today, next week, next month?
19; What can I do for you today to make your day better? Ask every day. At first she may say "nothing" If she does, do something spontaneous anyway, like pick her a flower, fold the laundry, rub her feet, let her pick the movie, brush her hair for her, put the kids to bed for her, run an errand, make breakfast in bed, give her an extra long kiss goodbye, and a wink, dedicate a song to her, clean the kitchen for her, write her a love letter, rub her shoulders, plan a picnic, send flowers to her work, just because, ; there are a million little things a woman would love for you to do for her, non sexual things you can do; pick one and just do it without being asked.
20; Find out her Love Languages (Read The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman) Even if SHE doesn't know them, you will be able to recognize them. Make sure your filling her tank with the right gas; (you'll have to read the book)
If you don't know the answers to these questions, it's most likely the main reason you dont have the sex life you want. It's your job to find out. She WANTS you to know the answers to these questions, and probably doesn't know how to bring it up without risking you shutting her down, because wome...
How To Make Him Scream For You
How To Sex
03/15/25 • -1 min
What every man wishes you knew
By almost. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.
There are articles in abundance on what women want and need. There was even a movie recently, with Mel Gibson, about our secret feminine thoughts and desires, men spend hours trying to figure us out and what we need, but do we try to figure them out? You don’t see many about what men need and want, and they can be as mysterious to us, as we are to them. All women think they need to do is, rope ‘em, hog tie ‘em and throw ‘em in the barn...well men ain’t cattle girls, they know how to open that barn door even if we get them in there.
Usually all you read is bitter accounts by angry cold women, about why men aren’t worth much, and how to avoid the ones who may not be easy to catch, complete with titles and types and assessments of why you don’t want one like THAT... Well, ladies, I catch them...and if you want a good one, well, you better start figuring out what he wants or you aren’t going to get him, let alone keep him. My men are trying to figure out how to keep me, not escape me.
Every woman knows men are into chemistry, although what it is, is a bit unclear. What it is is sex appeal, it is, they want to appeal to us sexually, and for us to appeal to them sexually, is really all that is, it’s not looks or weight, or height or make up, it’s how we look at them and how we make them feel, if we make them feel like males, deep inside, they’re attracted to us. They’ll admit to that readily enough, but to get inside the mind of a man, to learn what it is that makes him choose to stay and commit? That’s the secret ladies, they have to want to commit to us. Most of us can all do enough to get them to stay for breakfast at any time. It’s keeping hold of them that’s tough. And to us, we want that commitment and they know it, but many of us want it because their paycheck comes with it. They want their money’s worth, and that is fair, girls, it is. They aren’t about to tell us this though, because they know we can be determined and devious. The line the bride sings walking down the aisle, of “Phew, I”ll never have to do THAT again!” Is a little too often true. They want truth and beauty, not to be a victim of some woman with a need for income. They believe in love more than we do at times.
Men hit about 35 and begin to wake up to a silent urging to procreate and nest, they reassess their life in the wild, and begin to consider settling down, they get as broody as any woman does. Or if they have procreated and nested, they begin to feel the urge to stretch their wings and fly, to seek out more, and feel the wonder again. Men aren’t one dimensional, is part of that, they need both, passion and comfort, home and freedom and sensuality, they’re really somewhat simple, they’ll give us everything if they can just be a star in their own lives. That’s really all it takes. That and they want an interesting life. Give them that, and they’ll line up to commit to who ever gives it to them.
You’ll hear wives lament and whine that he’s cheating on her, but what you don’t hear is why he is, and it’s not just some younger body, it’s... she’s interesting and the wife isn’t. The wife has become dull and boring, and to her, all life is about is vacuuming the house now, and she yells at him and whines at him, just like she does after he flies the coop! and he’s tired of sleeping with the maid whose got attitude, who’d want to sleep with a bad tempered tyrant!
Half of that is she berates him, it’s never enough, take out the garbage, fix the car, when are you going to mow the yard, she becomes this chore monger, another boss, so he has two jobs, not a home and a career. And she only lives to do chores, herself, he earns, he works, he takes second place in his own life, he is the gadget man, the vacuum cleaner with a mind, the guy who keeps life orderly for us, and not much else. The kids matter more, and Little League does, hey, girls, if they did that to US, we’d leave, in a second! And do. We’d never put up with working all day and handing over our check only to come home and get yelled at? And she wonders why he left?! Someone was nicer to him is why, and she wasn’t...You can’t keep cows in the barn if you leave the door open, ladies! Get a clue wifey, you weren’t what he needed, you were too busy making cupcakes to notice him, you said no fourteen times a week? And you di...
Preventions: Part 1
How To Sex
04/13/25 • -1 min
The Many Pregnancy Prevention Options
By Everyday Health. Listen to the ► Podcast at How To Sex.
Contraception Options 101: Everything You Need to Know About Birth ControlHere’s the lowdown on pregnancy prevention with pills, patches, implants, and other types of birth control, plus information on effectiveness, availability, cost, and more.
By Cheryl Alkon; By John Paul McHugh, MD courtesy of American College of Lifestyle Medicine
Updated on August 28, 2023
It’s a fact: If you’re a woman, and you have sex with a man, it’s possible you’ll get pregnant. But if you don’t want to have a baby, there are many forms of birth control to help prevent pregnancy.
Birth Control: A Definition and Overview
While abstinence, or refraining from intercourse, is the only way to prevent pregnancy with 100 percent certainty, contraception, or birth control, comes in several different forms, both non-hormonal and hormonal.Non-hormonal methods generally create a physical barrier between the sperm and the egg; a notable exception is the copper IUD, which changes the uterine environment but does not actually present a physical barrier. Two permanent contraception methods require surgery: sterilization, or tubal ligation, for women and vasectomy for men.
Hormonal methods generally prevent ovulation (the release of an egg), make it more difficult for sperm to enter the uterus, or prevent a fertilized egg from implanting in the uterus.
What’s the Best Birth Control Method?
“It varies, and it depends on you and your lifestyle,” says Keosha T. Bond, an assistant medical professor at The City University of New York School of Medicine in New York City. “I try to explain there’s no one-size-fits-all. It’s more, ‘What can I do, and how does my body react?’ There are so many contraceptive methods out there, but not every one will fit every person.”
How Effective Is Birth Control?
The effectiveness rate of various birth control methods is based on perfect use; meaning the method is used consistently and correctly every single time, and typical use, which includes people who use the method inconsistently or incorrectly.
Knowing what all your birth control options are will help you and your partner choose what works best for you. “I think it’s awesome to be talking about it. A lot of people just don’t know” about birth control, says Christine Carlan Greves, MD, an obstetrician and gynecologist with Orlando Health in Florida.
Birth Control Methods: All Your Contraception Options
Here’s a look at the various kinds of birth control available today.Hormonal Birth Control
Contraceptive methods that use hormones alter how your body works in order to prevent pregnancy. These range from daily-use options, such as birth control pills, to long-term-use approaches, such as hormonal IUDs, which can stay in place for several years, says Dr. Bond.
Hormonal Contraception Option: Birth Control Pills
There are two types of birth control pills: combination pills that contain both estrogen and a form of progesterone called progestin, as well as progestin-only pills (also known as the mini pill).
The pills work by preventing ovulation, so there is no egg for sperm to fertilize, or by thickening cervical mucus so sperm cannot travel to an egg.
Birth control pills need to be taken every day as directed. Most types of progestin-only pills must be taken within the same three-hour time window every day. Some pills can also be used to stop your period.
How effective are birth control pills? Combined and progestin-only birth control pills are more than 99 percent ef...
What Are Sex Toys?
How To Sex
04/05/25 • -1 min
Can a device make it better for us?
By Anonymous. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.A battery-charged vibrator
Sex toys — also called adult toys or “marital aids” — are objects people use to have more pleasure during sex or masturbation. Sometimes sex toys can also have medical uses if you have a sexual dysfunction or medical condition. There are many different types of sex toys, and people use them for lots of different reasons.
It’s totally normal to use sex toys, but it’s also totally normal not to — it’s a personal decision, and everyone’s different. As long as you’re using sex toys safely, there’s nothing harmful about it.
Why do people use sex toys?
All kinds of people may choose to use sex toys, for many different reasons. For some, using sex toys is the easiest (or only) way they can have an orgasm — this is especially common for women. Sometimes people use sex toys to help them masturbate. People also use sex toys during sex with their lovers.
Some people with disabilities or limited mobility use sex toys to make it easier to masturbate, have sex, or do sexual activities or positions that would otherwise be harder or not possible for them.
Sex toys can also help treat the symptoms of certain disorders, like erectile dysfunction, genital arousal disorder, hypoactive sexual disorder, and orgasm disorder. And some people find that sex toys help them deal with the sexual side effects of certain medications, health conditions, or menopause — like a low sex drive or decreased sensation in their genitals.
What are the different types of sex toys?
There are thousands of different sex toys out there. Some of the most common ones include:- Vibrators (aka vibes, personal massagers) — Objects that vibrate (move continuously/buzz) to stimulate your genitals. It’s very common for people to use vibrators to stimulate their clitoris and other parts of their vulva and vagina. But vibrators can also stimulate the penis, scrotum and testicles, nipples, and anus. Vibrators come in all shapes and sizes. Some can go inside a vagina or anus, and others are meant to be used outside the body.
- Dildos (Objects that go inside a vagina, anus, or mouth.) Dildos come in many shapes and sizes, but they’re often shaped like a penis. Some look like realistic penises, and others are more abstract. They can also be slightly curved, to help stimulate your g-spot or prostate. Dildos can be made out of lots of different materials, like silicone, rubber, plastic, metal, or, break-resistant glass.
- Anal toys Sex toys made specifically to stimulate and/or go inside your anus. Anal toys include plugs (usually called butt plugs), anal beads, prostate massagers, and dildos with a wide base. You need to use lube to use anal toys safely. And it’s very important that any toy you put in your butt has a flared base (meaning it’s wider at the bottom) or some other way to pull the toy out, so it can’t accidentally slip all the way in. If a sex toy goes all the way inside your butt, it could get stuck and you may have to go to the doctor to get it out.
- Sleeves (aka masturbation sleeves, penis sleeves, or strokers) — Soft tubes that you put your penis into. Sleeves come in all shapes and sizes, and often have different textures on the inside for more sensation. Some even have vibration or suction. There are also strokers that are specially designed for a larger clitoris or smaller penis, particularly for intersex people or trans men on hormone therapy.
- Penis rings
Home of the Busty
How To Sex
03/16/25 • -1 min
A discussion of Womens’ Breasts and Sexuality
By CARLY STERN, HANNAH ORENSTEIN, Nondescript In CT, & zipado 321 . Listen to the podcast at How To Sex.
We’ve spent a good amount of time and attention on a man’s physiology and the impact on sexuality. Now lets discuss a woman’s breasts. They are often called tits, a term originating from the French word, tetons. You’ve also heard the terms; boobs, knockers, puppies, milkers, bust, mammaries, and other slang descriptives.
Let’s start by discussing the variety of female mammary glands, worldwide. A global study recently published several findings. Let’s look at what the Daily Mail website has to say.
America, the busty-ful!
By CARLY STERN FOR DAILYMAIL.COM
PUBLISHED: June 2016
Sweet Land of Lib-bra-ty! A new study found that American women have the biggest natural breasts in the world. Scientists measured the breasts of women in 108 countries, excluding anyone who’d had breast surgery, was pregnant, or was breastfeeding.
American women revealed as having the biggest natural breasts in the world, while Brits come in fifth and Filipinos are last.
Researches measured breasts of women born in 108 countries; excluding those who’d had breast surgery, were pregnant, or were breastfeeding. The results clearly found Caucasian United States Americans have, on average, the biggest breasts, followed by Canadians and non-Caucasian U S Americans. Women in Europe tend to have bigger breasts, while women in Africa and Asia (particularly Southeast Asia) have smaller ones.
In a not-entirely-surprising bit of news, American women have been found to have the biggest breasts in the world.
A group of researchers conducted a study; for science; to compare the average natural breast volume of women born in 108 countries. Excluding women who’d had surgery, were pregnant, were breastfeeding, or had been pregnant within the past 12 months, the scientists found that those born in the USA has significantly more ample assets.
In the study published in The Journal of Female Health Sciences, the researchers broke down countries from the bustiest to the most flat-chested, analyzing the mean volume and cup size of each nation.
Nearly 400,000 women around the world were measured for the study, which used EU bra sizing for consistency. While all of the measurements used measuring tape, some also employed ‘visual examination’ and 3D scanning.
Interestingly, the study actually listed averages for Caucasian United States Americans and non-Caucasian United States Americans, finding that Caucasian United States Americans had the highest breast volume of all, with a volume of 1,668ml and a cup size higher than an D, in US sizing.
Non-Caucasian Americans were still found to be quite busty, with an average volume of 1,089ml and a C cup in US sizing.
Again, these measurements exclude women with breast implants, meaning the difference in size is due to natural factors, like hormones in meat (though the study didn’t examine contributing factors).
The researchers did find, however, that obesity played little part in the relative size of breasts; the average breast volume was found to be large regardless of body weight, with even athletic and slim women being large-breasted.
Canadian women followed Caucasian United States Americans; and the average of all Americans; with an average cup size of C.
Ireland came in third...
Wild Pregnancy Sex
How To Sex
04/08/25 • -1 min
Weird Hormones and suppressed fetishes can make expecting, a delight.
By various parents. Listen to the podcast at How To Sex.
A young and frisky married couple is contemplating having a baby. They’re seeking advice on lots of things, but the question that came to us is;
“What is sex like, during pregnancy and after?
Some details are straight-forward and answers are easy. Like;
It’s rare for an obstetrician to recommend any limits on sexual intercourse, and in those rare situations, Couples can utilize their other means of sexually satisfying each other’s cravings.
What a medical professional can’t tell you, is how your morning sickness and late term discomfort will take a toll on your libido. And then there are other hang-ups, like knowing your child is fractions of an inch from where daddy’s parts are rubbing mommy’s parts.
Pregnancy does amazing things to a woman’s complexion, and bustline. That usually draws her man’s attention. But the last weeks of pregnancy have common discomforts. But after delivery, her vagina needs a break for about 6 weeks. Couples sometimes have to put effort into getting back in the grove of sexual intimacy, only this time a baby can interrupt anything.
So it’s especially important to have great sex before a seasonal post-partum drought hits your sex life.
Well, we’re going to give you lots of perspectives, for couples who’ve been through this unique phase. Enjoy! Here’s what some experienced folks said;
First trimester it sucked. I was chronically sick, didn’t feel sexy, couldn’t orgasm , it was horrible. Second trimester a switch flipped , my vagina became engorged with blood , I feel tighter , hornier , wetter. I want my man now. I’m just blessed I have a homey who goes through this crazy cycle with me because now it feels so good and I can’t get enough of him but the first trimester sucked
Fun. It forced my wife and me to explore a lot of new positions and techniques. I also got a lot better at oral because toward the end of pregnancy that was the easiest way for her to have an orgasm due to being limited to only a few positions.
With my first pregnancy it was great. I wanted to do it a lot of the time and could climax with just penetration what until that point had never happened before. Eventually, by week 34, PGP kicked in and there was nothing until 6-8 weeks after my c-section.
My third pregnancy was the opposite, I had severe morning sickness/nausea till week 15-16, then hardly had any sex drive till week 25 when I had a persistant pelvic pain and it was physically impossible to do it anymore. I can count on one hand how many times we had sex between finding out I was pregnant at 3 weeks gestation till 20 weeks after my c-section.
When my woman was pregnant - it was top tier sex. I Would recommend, if you’re partner is down for it!
I was in the mood all the time with all 5 of my pregnancies. The drawback is, after I had each one; my libido went on an extended vacation for a years or so, so I’d have to fake it, fake interest, fake the orgasms, all of it.
Then with pregnancies 4 and 5, each orgasm would cause my uterus to contract, even at 6 weeks pregnant it happened, making me not really want the orgasms. Odd shit
I was in Japan for much of the pregnancy of our first son. I was home for our 2nd son’s pregnancy. I think I'd rather have been back in Japan! The wifey was insatiable! Monday thru Friday, at 5am, wham bam thank you ma'am!
5 Pm, wham bam thank you ma'am. On the weekends, it was thrice per day. Same with our third, a baby girl!
I Dunno. I guess I was too gross for my hubby to even want it. He never tried. But the do-it-yourself release was epic.
It was Tiring when she got a high sex drive spell. Oh, God! She had a honey spell for a whole week. I was right tired all week
Didn’t have it, husband stayed the fuck away from me, we only did it a few times during pregnancy and it was awful, especially at the end...
Sex Therapies For Your Relationship
How To Sex
03/30/25 • -1 min
Don’t give up on what used to be a good thing.
By Ashley Welch & Kara Leigh Smythe, MD. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.There was once a time when your relationship had magic. That spark of romance, anticipation, and bonding. You’ve invested so much, until things somehow went south. It might have been a major incident, or a slow drifting away from each other.
It might be a personal health issue, or a forced new environment for the two of you.
We’ll look at home treatments and try to reverse bad habits, But we’ll also discuss your options with a caring and competent professional therapist who specializes in identifying and reversing obstacles in your lives, in a gentle manner.
Let’s first look at the easier solutions you can do in the privacy of your home.
9 Natural Libido Therapies
Want more excitement? Stimulation? Satisfaction? There are several drug-free ways to spice up your sex life.By Ashley Welch & Kara Leigh Smythe, MD
Exercise, say experts, is one of many natural tools you can use to improve sex.
If fooling around with your partner isn't all you'd like it to be, it might be time to think up new ways to make your sex life sizzle.
Having a date night with your partner — to remind yourself of all the reasons you adore each other — can be a great way to stimulate your libido, says Anita Sadaty, MD, a holistic gynecologist in Roslyn, New York.
This is one of many natural ways that experts say you can improve your sex life.
1. Make Getting in the Mood for Sex a Priority
Sometimes, having more and better sex simply requires clearing your schedule. “It's hard to be in the mood when you have a million things on your to-do list and not much time to do it,” Dr. Sadaty says.
Scheduling sex might sound unromantic, but you put most of your important plans in your calendar, so why not sex? It’s best to schedule enough time to do something relaxing first rather than hopping straight into bed, since women, especially, need to be relaxed before their libido kicks in, Sadaty says.
2. Avoid Negative Thoughts
If your brain is running a feedback loop of reasons you’ve picked up along the way — about how you should feel guilty about sex or maybe that your body is too fat or ugly or, well, whatever — it’s time to stop it in its tracks. Recognize the thought when it appears and change it to a more helpful one.
Practicing sex positivity — the idea that all consensual sexual activities are healthy and positive — can lead to improvements in sexual enjoyment, researchers say.
This means accepting that sex is an essential part of overall health and that you have the right to enjoy sexual activity free from judgment. Examples can include telling your partner what excites you, setting healthy sexual boundaries, and exploring sexual fantasies, which has been shown to improve sexual function and satisfaction.
3. Don’t Forget to Use Lubricants
Vaginal dryness can be common among women, affecting as many as 17 percent of females 18 to 50, according to the Cleveland Clinic.
A number of factors can contribute to vaginal dryness, including a drop in hormone levels due to menopause, breastfeeding, and certain medications. Sex can be more pleasurable if you add a lubricant, which cuts down on friction and irritation and, therefore, discomfort, gynecologists say. You can buy lubricant from the drugstore or use a household oil like coconut oil. (Be sure to use a non-latex condom if you DIY, because these oils can damage latex.)
Don’t try to hide your need for a lubricant from your partner. Make it part of your sexual routine and have fun with it.
4. Move Your Body
You may not think that the exercise you do for your heart and muscles is important for sex, but remember that blood flows to your genitals as much as to your heart.
Men with erectile dysfunction, for example, can often see improvements in this condition with healthy lifestyle changes such as exercise. A review of 10 ...
Sex Should Be Fun, Not Dirty
How To Sex
03/13/25 • -1 min
A few things that gross me out about porno myths
By LargoKitt. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.
What I HATE About Porn
Right up front let me make it clear that I watch erotica, read erotica, and write erotica. Please scope out my stories or poems or even my art and I think you will be pleased. Porn is very ancient stuff. Prehistoric people were making images designed to turn them on, and I'm sure they were sitting around the campfire and telling spicy stories. Motivating people to do the deed and plant the seed has been a major push for millennia. Hindus and Greeks and lots of other folks have gods who celebrate procreation. Heck, the Bible contains the steamy Song of Solomon. And in Genesis, God never said, "Don't fuck." He said, "Be fruitful and multiply."
Don’t Make Me Feel Shitty
Point 1: BDSM. I don't think sex is dirty and I really don't much like stories or vids or auds that portray people who feel like shit for feeling horny. Guys should not have to apologize for hard-ons they get in an honest scenario. Horny is built into the machinery. But hang on, I understand that if you were brought up in a strict religious household where touching yourself or anyone else without a legal contract will cause Old Scratch himself to snatch you by the short hairs and drag you to Hell where he'll fry you till you're a crispy critter; if that's the crap that's in the back of your head when you spot a hottie and the spirit rises; well then I can see how being bad and feeling good might end up in the back of the same pickup truck.
Since religious figures, priests and preachers and missionaries and nuns, are placed artificially off-limits, I can see how getting under that dark robe might be a turn on. But a story about raping a priest or a nun who used to humiliate you in school. That's not erotica. That's a revenge horror story and I hate it being considered a turn-on. And stories about religious folks exploiting or hurting kids is never sexy. It's criminal.
I personally despise stories that feature people despising each other, especially in the bedroom. I might write a story about people playing at humiliating one another. I can imagine people, maybe a woman CEO who is always in charge and demanding of respect, enjoying a fantasy where someone calls her a 'stupid worthless slutty cock-sucking bitch'. Same with a male CEO who likes to be ridden and whipped like a stubborn mule. I can imagine those characters getting relief from constant responsibility. I can see how the sting of a little pain might lift their spirits.
But I switch off when the sex is about the pain. Oh I get how a spanking or being bound and restrained might raise the stakes of sensation. But then the pain is about the sex. And the sex plus pain is for the pleasure of the person being bound or 'punished' not for some nut who gets his or her nut by hurting other people. I understand if your kink swells when you have someone in your power. But for me sex is always a dance with equal partners even if you're playing that it's not.
So. Stories teach. And I HATE stories or videos that teach men that it's okay to treat women like shit. Also stories that teach women that the only way they can tell a man what she wants is to be a cruel slutty dom. Or little girls who need permission from 'daddy.' Or independent women just waiting to be enslaved by a cruel master who "knows just what they want."
Bottom line: whatever your kink, sex should be fun for all members of the party and their members, and fun shouldn't make you feel weird and guilty.
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
Point 2 -- Girls just wanna have fun. I HATE porn that is all about the man getting his nut with no concern for the woman getting hers. What's up with that? Are most pornos secretly for men who are into men? Why in Baal's name do we always spend so much time looking at dude's dicks? And balls? And assholes?
Maybe a viewer who isn't built like superman likes to pretend he is the buff cut flexing shiny well-waxed, spray-tanned hunk who is drilling a hottie who is lying about what a turn-on he is. But how about, for once, having a Don Juan or Lothario who is actually a role model for how to light a lady's fire? Because if you have the basic equipment, but really know what to do with it your reputation as a cocksmith may grow, and most often it won't be about your cock.
The guy may be necessary in the v...
Intro To BDSM
How To Sex
04/10/25 • -1 min
Fundamentals, Types and Roles, Safety Rules, and More
By Nuna Alberts, LCSW. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.
If you’ve ever fantasized about getting kinky in the bedroom, you’re not alone. The runaway success of E. L. James’s Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy of books; the three top-selling print and e-books in the United States between 2010 and 2019; not to mention the sales of the movies they generated, prove that interest in BDSM (bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism) is anything but rare.
BDSM can involve role playing, sensory manipulation, and more. Here are a few popular ways enthusiasts like to get kinky!
Prevalence: How Many People Practice BDSM?
Further proof: Nearly 47 percent of women and 60 percent of men have fantasized about dominating someone sexually, while slightly more women and less men are aroused by the idea of being dominated, according to a 2016 study. The same study also found that almost 47 percent adults would like to participate in at least one nontraditional type of sexual activity, and 34 percent said that they’d done so at least once in the past. No wonder if you search the phrase “BDSM” on Google it will return more than 500 million results. By comparison, the phrase “missionary sex” returns about 163 million results.The History of BDSM: Not So New
Explore a little more and you’ll also discover that BDSM is nothing new. Among BDSM’s historical high points:- Art and texts from ancient Greece and Rome show physical pain being used as an erotic stimulus, per the book An Illustrated History of the Rod, by William M. Cooper, first published in 1868.
- The Kama Sutra, the revered Sanskrit text on sexuality written in India about 2,000 years ago, describes six appropriate places to strike a person with passion and four ways to do it. It also has chapters titled “Scratching,” “Biting,” and “Reversing Roles.”
- The Marquis de Sade, a French aristocrat who lived from 1740 to 1814, wrote a variety of erotic novels and short stories involving being beaten and beating others. Eventually the author’s name gave rise to the term “sadism.”
- Similarly, the term “masochism” is derived from the name of Austrian nobleman and author Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, whose 1870 novel Venus in Furs describes a dominant-submissive relationship.
- Back in 1953, a Kinsey Institute study found that 55 percent of women and 50 percent of men were aroused by being bitten.
- And even pre-Fifty Shades of Grey, 36 percent of U.S. adults reported having had sex using masks, blindfolds, or other forms of bondage.
Is BDSM Still Considered a Medical Disorder?
At one time, mental health experts were dubious about whether those who practiced BDSM were mentally healthy. But the American Psychiatric Association took a huge step in destigmatizing kink with the release of the current Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) in 2013. For the first time ever, the guidelines drew a clear distinction between consenting adults who engage in sexual behaviors outside the mainstream, such as BDSM, and those who force others to engage in those behaviors without consent.That means simply experimenting with, say, whips and chains, is no longer a sign of mental illness that by itself “justifies or requires clinical intervention,” the manual states.
There are true sexual disorders that are similar in theme. Sexual sadism disorder, for instance, involves inflicting physical or psychological pain on another for the purpose of sexual pleasure. And sexual masochism disorder involves deliberately involving yourself in a situation in which you are humiliated, beaten, or abused for the purpose of sexual excitement.
The difference between these two disorders and BDSM is consent, in the case of sexual sadism disorder, and that BDSM does not go to the degree of causing significant distress or impairing function, in the case of sexual masochism disorder.
The Psychology of BDSM: Why Are People Drawn to It?
Most of the available evid...Polyamory History
How To Sex
01/26/25 • -1 min
An essay on the history of Polyamory.
By darkgoddess2478. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.
What is Polyamory?
Polyamory means "loving more than one". This love may be sexual, emotional, spiritual, or a combination thereof, according to the desires and agreement of the individuals involved. "Polyamorous" is also used as descriptive term by people who are open to more than one relationship even if they are not currently involved in more than one. It is behaving in ways which are honest, and which make you, and the people you care about, and the people they care about happy and fulfilled. Polyamory is about building new configurations of relationships, being open to the opportunity if it comes along, not refusing commitments because something better might come loping down the path.
This is an interesting question. What is Polyamory? The definition above states it just simply as "loving more than one". Kathy Labriola defines Polyamory as an intense loving relationship between two or more people. Polyamory literally means many loves. Good enough for the simple definitions that tell you absolutely nothing important. Let's start with where the poly movement began.
Polyamory in the United States began as polygamy with Joseph Smith, the founder of the Mormon religion, or The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Through a series of visions, Smith announced polygamy to his followers as a part of Mormon spirituality in 1843 and Brigham Young publicly announced this practice in 1852. Polygamy allowed men to marry more than one wife as long as he could provide for everyone in his family.
The Mormons were sexually conservative and rejected the ideals of romantic love, intense courtship and contraception. Sex was seen merely as a device for procreation. Extramarital affairs, premarital sex, and all sexual acts that would not directly lead to conception were strictly forbidden and enforced at a cost of death or emasculation. The reasoning stands that polygamy was not for the purpose of sex, but as a way to have as many children as possible.
Since the Christian doctrine did not allow for polygamy, the Mormons were the subject of hate from many sources, mainly Protestant missionaries and women writers who "attempted to emancipate plural wives from their alleged sexual slavery." (D'Emilio and Freedman 117) Even though our country preached freedom of religion, from the 1860's to the 1880's the federal government prosecuted Mormons who practiced polygamy. Given this opposition, the Mormons withdrew their approval for polygamy in 1890.
Most polyamorous families are not all married to one another. There is usually a primary couple who are married and the others who consider themselves married, but do not have an actual marriage certificate. Some of the families live together and others have separate living quarters where the father and husband visit frequently. In the families that live together, the child rearing and household responsibilities are shared. In all ethical cases, all the wives know about each other and support the decision of their husband taking on the new partner.
Kathy Labriola, a counselor and nurse, defines Polyamory as "an intense loving relationship between members of the same sex or those of the opposite sex". Some polyamorous people are married, others are single: Polyamorous people may be heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual. The Polyamorous system does not have to be a sexual system, but it can be.
Most of the cynicism given to Polyamory is due to people thinking Polyamory is for sexual practices. Kilbride in "Plural Marriage for our Times: A Reinvented Option?" states, In linking sexuality to marriage we generally view having multiple marital partners, as resulting predominately from sex drive.
Of the various reasons why plural marriage occurs, a sexual outlet is minimized within a wider, more general body of needs and functions considered important for both individuals and the wider society. This statement agrees that the practice of polygamy is not about sex. As was stated earlier, the Mormons used polygamy as a way of advancing their religion and baptizing their ancestors, not for greater sexual acts. The people who practice Polyamory today use Polyamory as a means of freedom of expression and bettering themselves as people. Since they have found tha...
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