Sex Therapies For Your Relationship

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03/30/25 • -1 min

Don’t give up on what used to be a good thing.

By Ashley Welch & Kara Leigh Smythe, MD. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.
There was once a time when your relationship had magic. That spark of romance, anticipation, and bonding. You’ve invested so much, until things somehow went south. It might have been a major incident, or a slow drifting away from each other.
It might be a personal health issue, or a forced new environment for the two of you.
We’ll look at home treatments and try to reverse bad habits, But we’ll also discuss your options with a caring and competent professional therapist who specializes in identifying and reversing obstacles in your lives, in a gentle manner.
Let’s first look at the easier solutions you can do in the privacy of your home.

9 Natural Libido Therapies

Want more excitement? Stimulation? Satisfaction? There are several drug-free ways to spice up your sex life.
By Ashley Welch & Kara Leigh Smythe, MD
Exercise, say experts, is one of many natural tools you can use to improve sex.
If fooling around with your partner isn't all you'd like it to be, it might be time to think up new ways to make your sex life sizzle.
Having a date night with your partner — to remind yourself of all the reasons you adore each other — can be a great way to stimulate your libido, says Anita Sadaty, MD, a holistic gynecologist in Roslyn, New York.
This is one of many natural ways that experts say you can improve your sex life.
1. Make Getting in the Mood for Sex a Priority
Sometimes, having more and better sex simply requires clearing your schedule. “It's hard to be in the mood when you have a million things on your to-do list and not much time to do it,” Dr. Sadaty says.
Scheduling sex might sound unromantic, but you put most of your important plans in your calendar, so why not sex? It’s best to schedule enough time to do something relaxing first rather than hopping straight into bed, since women, especially, need to be relaxed before their libido kicks in, Sadaty says.
2. Avoid Negative Thoughts
If your brain is running a feedback loop of reasons you’ve picked up along the way — about how you should feel guilty about sex or maybe that your body is too fat or ugly or, well, whatever — it’s time to stop it in its tracks. Recognize the thought when it appears and change it to a more helpful one.
Practicing sex positivity — the idea that all consensual sexual activities are healthy and positive — can lead to improvements in sexual enjoyment, researchers say.
This means accepting that sex is an essential part of overall health and that you have the right to enjoy sexual activity free from judgment. Examples can include telling your partner what excites you, setting healthy sexual boundaries, and exploring sexual fantasies, which has been shown to improve sexual function and satisfaction.
3. Don’t Forget to Use Lubricants
Vaginal dryness can be common among women, affecting as many as 17 percent of females 18 to 50, according to the Cleveland Clinic.
A number of factors can contribute to vaginal dryness, including a drop in hormone levels due to menopause, breastfeeding, and certain medications. Sex can be more pleasurable if you add a lubricant, which cuts down on friction and irritation and, therefore, discomfort, gynecologists say. You can buy lubricant from the drugstore or use a household oil like coconut oil. (Be sure to use a non-latex condom if you DIY, because these oils can damage latex.)
Don’t try to hide your need for a lubricant from your partner. Make it part of your sexual routine and have fun with it.
4. Move Your Body
You may not think that the exercise you do for your heart and muscles is important for sex, but remember that blood flows to your genitals as much as to your heart.
Men with erectile dysfunction, for example, can often see improvements in this condition with healthy lifestyle changes such as exercise. A review of 10 ...

Don’t give up on what used to be a good thing.

9 Natural Libido Therapies

Previous Episode

Avoiding Toxic Life Partners

Identify the 18 worst traits, early.

Based on posts by Emma Mills and Sinitta Weston. Listen to the Podcast at How To Sex.

Dating can be a thrilling adventure, full of exciting possibilities. But it’s important to be aware of potential red flags that might signal a less-than-ideal partner. While everyone has their quirks, some behaviors can be toxic and detrimental to a healthy relationship.
You may have a great sexual chemistry, but partnership is a bonding of your souls. To that end, finding emotional intimacy is a bigger challenge than sexual intimacy.
Relationships are hard enough without choosing a partner who adds unnecessary drama and toxicity. It’s good to have standards and protect your own peace!

18 Types Of Women Who Make Terrible Partners

By Emma Mills
Let’s break down some of the types of women who are likely to create more headaches than happiness in the long run.

1. The woman who plays the victim in every situation.
Nothing is ever her fault. She constantly blames her problems on bad luck, other people, or circumstances outside her control. This lack of accountability makes growth and healthy conflict resolution impossible in a relationship, Esther Perel points out.

2. The woman who refuses to compromise.
Relationships take compromise, but she’s a “my way or the highway” kind of person. Her needs and desires always come first, and if you don’t bend over backwards to accommodate them, you’re labeled selfish or uncaring.

3. The chronically jealous and insecure woman.
Some jealousy is normal, but she takes it to an extreme. She constantly needs reassurance, accuses you of being interested in others, checks your phone, and tries to isolate you from friends. A relationship built on distrust and possessiveness instead of mutual respect is doomed.

4. The woman who can’t be alone.
She rushes from one relationship to the next and hates being single. This often stems from insecurity and an inability to be alone with her own thoughts. These relationships tend to be intense, codependent, and lack healthy boundaries.

5. The emotionally manipulative woman.
She’s a master at using guilt trips, tears, or withholding affection to get what she wants. Healthy relationships are built on honest communication, not manipulation. It’s exhausting trying to navigate her ever-changing emotions to avoid upsetting her.

6. The woman who sees every past relationship as the “crazy ex.”
If a string of exes have all been “crazy,” “unreasonable,” or “total narcissists,” it’s likely not them – it’s her. She refuses to own her role in past relationship breakdowns, which is a recipe for repeating those same patterns with you.

Next Episode

Swinging vs Naturism

Do you seek to be comfortable in your body, or be just a piece of meat?

By Zahra Barnes & Dr Nikki Goldstein. Listen to the podcast at How To Sex.

Getting naked with a mixed social group might be a tantalizing item on your bucket list, but the options can be radically different, and lead to disappointment, even betrayal and abandonment. To the person who’s never seriously considered getting naked in a large mixed group, perhaps all the options seem the same. But where some groups, like swingers clubs; gather with the intent of openly sexual interactions; Naturist and nudist clubs specifically ban public sexuality. Even an innocent erection might be frowned upon and the guy might be asked to step apart from the women while he’s turgid.

Some naturists clubs have an unspoken bias against any male arousal. They even tend to blame an erect man for proliferating a ‘rape culture’.

But at the swingers club, the turgid male; especially if heavily endowed; is almost revered. A man or woman whose physique is rather ‘unremarkable’ may end the event feeling disappointed and inferior. It’s perhaps that ‘meat-market’ culture which diverts many people to the non-sexual naturist clubs. A man with a considerably small cock, hidden in a thick pubic bush, has little to fear at a Naturist club.

You might see more women than men at a naturist club, but you’ll definitely see way more men at a swinger club. That’s what leads a modestly-endowed man to give up on the swingers club, unless he’s there with his devoted female life partner.

But let’s hear from a young woman who has created a naturist society for younger adults. Zahra Barnes shares her report on the club that Felicity Jones started.

Naturism Liberated Me

This Is What It's Like To Live Most of Your Life Naked

I firmly believe that if you want to experience euphoria sans drugs, all you have to do is take off your bra after a long workday. And post-shower, you can often find me wrestling my freshly-lotioned legs into a pair of jeans, muttering questions like, "Why can't I just live my life naked?" The thing is, I can. And some people do. Nudists and naturists participate in plenty of normal activities like swimming, camping, and karaoke without clothes. The degrees of nudity vary; some people are naked pretty much all the time, while others reserve it for social events every so often. But to hear them tell it, life is much better in the nude.

While you may have heard of nudists, chances are you're a little less familiar with naturists. Although the terms are often used interchangeably, some people believe certain nuances classify them as two different bodies. "We define nudism as being more about the actual nudity, while naturism has more of a philosophy behind it," Felicity Jones, 27, a resident of Long Island City, N.Y. and co-founder of Young Naturists America, YNA, tells SELF. "It’s about accepting people as they are, and also promoting the values of respecting other people and the environment." Of course, most naturists can't be naked all the time, because laws exist and being naked in jail doesn't sound particularly comfortable. But when they can, they do, and they enjoy the hell out of it.

Let's clear one thing up: Naturism's not about sex.

Sometimes it's easiest to define naturism by describing what it's not. "A lot of people imagine that it’s this amped up sexual environment, like people are having sex in the open or having orgies," says Felicity. "It’s not like that at all. There’s a time and place for everything," she says, while noting that YNA has "very rarely" had to kick people out of events because they're acting inappropriately.

Stateside nudism and naturism have their roots in the American Association for Nude Recreation, which was founded in 1931. With an spotlight on "wholesome nude family recreation," the organization's mission is "to advocate nudity and nude recreation in appropriate settings while educating and informing society of their value and enjoyment," according to their website. Similar institutions cropped up after, like The Naturist Society, which was founded in 1980.

If you're like, wait, record scratch, people are advoca...