Growing Closer to God through Parenting (with Lindsay Schlegel)

08/27/19 • 35 min

Girlfriends (A Podcast for Catholic Women)

Author Lindsay Schlegel joins us this week for a show where we discuss how parenting can help us grow closer to God. That is the theme of Lindsay’s book, [Don’t Forget to Say Thank You: And Other Parenting Lessons That Brought Me Closer to God](https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Forget-Say-Thank-CatholicMom-com/dp/1594718091/ref=sr11?crid=3QCGKARKIO9VS&keywords=don%27t+forget+to+say+thank+you&qid=1565968942&s=gateway&sprefix=don%27t+forget+to+say+%2Caps%2C194&sr=8-1). You can learn more about Lindsay and her work at her website, LindsaySchlegel.com. Also, look for a new podcast Lindsay will be launching very soon, called Quote Me. I also share feedback from listener Ann-Marie who shared pictures of her Mary garden and a Litany of Kindness that she wrote. Check out her prayer below. Snippet from the Show “All of the things we want for our kids, God wants for us in an even more perfect way.” SHOWNOTES LITANY OF KINDNESS . . . When I meet with those I have an aversion towards, Jesus help me to choose kindness. When I compose bitter responses to others, Jesus help me silence my thoughts and turn to your heart. When I am tempted to bear a grudge, Help me see myself as I am: a pouting, childish weakling. When I am tempted to be envious of others, Help me be thankful and content with the many gifts you’ve given me. When I am tempted to judge another by their outward actions, Remind me I know not of her motives. When I find myself in a difficult situation, Help me to lovingly accept whatever you send into my life. When I am impatient and angered by those around me, Jesus, deflate my pride and help me choose humility. When there is a lack of trust in a relationship, Help me not to be suspicious of him/her, but to turn my thoughts to you. When I am given to over sensitivity, Help me avoid brooding over real or imagined slights. When I am with an overly sensitive person, Help me choose to exercise patience and charity. When I am self seeking and full of pride, Help me remember and consider my own sins. When I perform a kind deed, Help me offer it to you and not dwell or boast about it. When I perform little actions of consideration, Help me remember that God sees my sacrifice and is pleased. When I have pain, sorrow and suffering, Help me hide it in You, and be kind and cheerful to others. When I am irritated by those around me, Help me bear their burdens, as Christ bears mine. When I am frustrated by another, Help me to love them because I love Christ in them. When I am tired and discouraged, Help me choose to carry out my vocation as helper. When I am contentious and find fault with others, Help me cultivate an agreement as it is not all about me. Give me the grace to offer you a heart free from resentment, And the strength to pray for those who have hurt me. Train my eyes to be kind, recognizing faults, but seeing past them for love of you, Jesus. For all I see and hear, give me the grace to put on a kind interpretation, Which will help destroy the bitterness of my judgments. Help me forgo some trifling right, bear offenses, and renounce having the last word, So that I cultivate kind thoughts in my heart instead of an argument. To give joy to others, I must have it myself. Help me possess simple loving thoughts to dispel the clouds of depression, as you are the source of all joy. When I am weary and know not what to do, remind me that my vocation is to put on love and do my own tasks well. When trying to cooperate with others, help me put aside my own views when justice is not violated, in deference to those of others. Give me the grace of heroic self denial. In all occasions, around all people, remind me that I am not bound to speak out at all. Kindness, good will, charity, and forgiveness may run directly contrary to my feelings and inclinations—help me do them anyway. The obligation to undo the hurt caused by my unkind words does not disappear by my ignoring it. Help me to silence my overgrown sense of curiosity and resist the urge to give unsolicited advice. Help me to never say behind a person’s back what I would not say to his/her face, and to mind my own business. Help me remember that harsh words cause wounds that are hard to heal, and that the best remedy to angry words is silence. When I observe human weakness and am tempted to be sarcastic, remind me it does not glorify God. Remind me that destructive criticism is foolish and futile, and that it says more about me than the person I criticize. Help me always look for the good in the world and in your children and speak of it frequently. When I am wrong, help me admit it quickly and emphat...

Previous Episode

How to Cope with Hard Change

This week we are talking about seasons of change in motherhood, and how we can best cope with them. Whether you are sending a child off to college or to kindergarten, moving into a new neighborhood or starting a new job, change can be a challenging thing to cope with. Snippet from the Show “A change may be hard, but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. The more we focus on our gratitude, the more we can see the positives of that change.” SHOWNOTES Here are some ideas that can help: Let yourself feel the feelings. Don’t “stuff” your feelings, but allow yourself to feel them. Be honest about the fact that when a child moves out, there are parts of that change that are a loss to you, and it hurts. But don’t “sit down” in there. Do not wallow in your feelings. Make sure you know that your thoughts are the boss of your feelings. In other words, you cannot control how you feel, but you can control how you think and act on those feelings. Be gentle with yourself. Build margin into your days, let go of some more demanding things in your life and in your schedule to allow yourself the time and energy you need to make this transition. (Here is the homeschooling book I mentioned in this part : Teaching from Rest by Sarah Mackenzie) Start something new. Think of a new habit you might like to begin and attach it to this time of change. Look for ways that this time of transition might be an opportunity for new, positive things in your life. Give thanks. So many of the changes we struggle with are also enormous blessings. Remember to pause and give thanks for your children, for your motherhood, for your home and family, even as you struggle with changes inside of those relationships. This week, I also share feedback from listeners Lillian and Jenay, and I answer a question from Taylor about vaccines. RESOURCES My episode on The Art of Letting Go (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-36-the-art-of-letting-go-035/id1073361940?i=1000374713722) EVENTS Saturday, November 16, 2019: You Are Enough Retreat at Holy Family Catholic Church in Orlando, FL Saturday, January 11, 2020: You’re Worth It Retreat, St. Michael Church, Exeter, NH Saturday, March 7, 2020: You’re Worth It Retreat at Precious Blood Parish in Jasper, IN Saturday, March 28, 2020: Women’s Conference in Norwich, CT
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Next Episode

Making Family Prayer Time Happen

Do you struggle to make family prayer time happen in your home? Is it a goal of yours to pray together as a family, and yet you find yourself failing to make it happen? This week, I answer a question from listener Amy who is struggling to make family time happen, especially with a change in schedules as the kids have gone back to school. I also respond to listener feedback about getting started with running (Jillian), and about coping with hard changes (Eleanor). Snippet from the Show “Prayer is a very intimate thing. Sometimes people struggle to pray as a family or as a couple because it’s very intimate. There are parts that will remain very personal, but family prayer is a beautiful way to bond together as a family.” SHOWNOTES Here are my thoughts for ways to make family prayer happen in your home and your family on a regular basis: 1) Plan ahead. It’s not going to happen if you don’t schedule it and make a plan for when it can happen in the first place. Take a look at your daily schedule and find a place where you can make prayer part of your family routine. 2) Know that it doesn’t have to look a certain way. Your family is unique, and so that means the way your family prays together will also be unique. Don’t compare yourselves to what others do. Do what makes sense for you and your family. 3) Know that family prayer changes over time. As your kids grow and your family life changes, so will the ways and times that you pray together. Don’t hold on to some outdated idea of what you should be doing. Do what makes sense for you, right now, with the kind of family you are, right now. 4) Start small and start where you are. Here comes that Girlfriends theme where I remind you: Do not let the perfect become the enemy of the good. Start where you are and make a small commitment to family prayer. Just starting is the hardest part! 5) Be creative. Vary the ways that you pray, the kinds of prayers you pray together, who leads the prayers, what books you might use, etc. There are so many different kinds of prayers in our Catholic tradition. Introduce your kids (and yourself!) to some of them during family prayer times. 6) Take advantage of small moments in your day. Driving to school? Waiting in a parking lot? Folding laundry together? Cooking dinner? Look for small opportunities in your day to offer a word or two of prayer. Thank God for good things, ask God for help, offer your work to him. This is ultimately what prayer is all about—cultivating a natural relationship with God whom we turn to throughout our busy days.
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