Finding the Guardian of Your Soul

Introduction:

Welcome to another enlightening episode of Getting Inside the RIGHT Male Mind, hosted by Lisa Shield and Benjamin Shield. Today, we dive deep into the emotional quagmire of breadcrumbing in relationships—a toxic dynamic where one person gives minimal effort, keeping the other clinging to the hope of something more meaningful. In this episode titled "Why We Breadcrumb and How It’s Holding You Back from Real Love," Lisa and Benjamin explore the intricate power imbalances and emotional manipulation inherent in breadcrumbing, highlighting its damaging effects on both individuals involved.

We'll discuss the pervasive patterns of mixed signals, avoidance of deep conversations, and last-minute plans, which often leave the breadcrumbed individual feeling undervalued and frustrated. Through personal anecdotes, client stories, and psychological insights, our hosts emphasize the critical importance of self-love, self-compassion, and the courage to walk away from unhealthy relational patterns.

Tune in as Lisa and Benjamin guide you through recognizing these harmful behaviors, breaking the addictive cycle of false hope, and embarking on a journey toward genuine connections. Remember to visit lisashield.com for more resources and to share this episode with anyone who might benefit from this crucial conversation. This is your chance to learn, heal, and find the true guardian of your soul.

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Welcome back to another enlightening episode of "Finding the Guardian of Your Soul." I'm Lisa Shield, joined by my wonderful co-host, Benjamin Shield. Today, we tackle a critical issue that often plagues even the most successful and intelligent women: self-sabotage in relationships. We'll explore why smart women, despite being ready and eager to find their soulmates, often unintentionally put up walls and push away potential partners. We'll dive into the deep-seated fears, ambivalence, and past baggage that contribute to this self-sabotaging behavior and discuss practical strategies to overcome it. Join us as we unravel the complexities of the frenemy mind and share insights to help you embrace vulnerability and open up to love. If you're ready to stop the cycle of self-sabotage and find the guardian of your soul, this episode is a must-listen. Let's get started!

From misunderstanding simple gestures to resurrecting baggage from past relationships, Lisa and Benjamin dissect the self-protective mechanisms that can hinder meaningful connections. They share compelling stories from their transformative Emotionally Naked Dating course, including clients who nearly missed out on incredible partners due to self-doubt and misguided assumptions.

Discover practical strategies to identify and overcome self-sabotage, the importance of seeking grounded advice, and how honest communication can transform budding relationships. Hear how many of their clients, initially on the brink of giving up on good matches, found lasting love through guided introspection and vulnerability. Don't miss this invaluable episode for any woman seeking to unlock the path to her soul's guardian. Tune in to learn how to stop your frenemy mind and start embracing the love you truly deserve.

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Lisa and Benjamin delve deep into the nuances of comedy in courtship, from the pitfalls of misused humor to the magnetic allure of kindness-infused jests. They share their own adventures, where chuckles have built bridges and forged lasting bonds – and even recount an enchanting vacation episode that touched the heart of a stranger amidst a personal storm.

In today's emotional dance, these love connoisseurs teach us how mirth and play are much more than mere acts of joy; they're threads that weave intimacy and trust in the fabric of togetherness. Learn how to sprinkle wit on serious moments, and why mirroring iconic spirits like Julia Child in living fun can be a breakthrough in love’s quest.

Lisa, in her ever-illuminating wisdom, offers a precious gift – the chance to access a transformative 45-minute presentation, along with a six-month journey designed to remodel lives.

For every soul seeking love out loud, for anyone yearning to attract delightful companionship, this is your clarion call to infuse playfulness into every romantic whisper. So pump up the volume and prepare to laugh your way to love's embrace with 'Finding the Guardian of Your Soul.'

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What You'll Hear In This Episode:

About Aaron’s areas of expertise, including divorce, custody, child support, and pre- and postnuptial agreements

The importance of setting clear financial terms during engagement reduces marital issues

Fairer prenups lead to happier marriages

Discussing what couples want to achieve with the agreement instead of using the term "prenup"

Addressing the negative connotations and stereotypes associated with prenuptial agreements

Meeting legal requirements such as signing the prenup at least a week ahead and having an opportunity to meet with an attorney

Using prenuptial agreements to achieve transparency in relationships

-- Negative consequences of financial surprises during a relationship, such as hidden debt

Regular meetings to discuss finances, similar to shareholders' meetings

Communal assets and their potential complications in divorce, such as owning a house or making mortgage payments before marriage

The potential loss of pre-marital assets in divorce settlements

The benefits of having joint and separate accounts or an allowance system

The tendency for people to be more comfortable being physically naked than financially open

Lack of transparency in finances negatively affecting other areas of a relationship

Being open about finances showing vulnerability and strengthening the overall relationship

Not all family law attorneys are knowledgeable about prenuptial or postnuptial agreements

The trade-offs involved in prenuptial agreements and the importance of making an intentional choice

Key quotes:

"My wife and I have regular checkpoints, whether it's annually or quarterly or even monthly, for us to sit down and talk about the finances." — Aaron Thomas

"A couple can be married for 10, 15, 20 years, and then a divorce happens and all of a sudden the wife is like, ‘What do you mean he wants half of the house that I paid for for 20 years? What do you mean he wants half of my retirement when he sat on the couch when I was out there busting my rear end to earn this money?’ She didn’t realize that when she got married, the default rule is that everything the couple earned over the course of the marriage is considered marital property." — Aaron Thomas

"Setting clear financial terms during engagement reduces marital issues, and fair prenups lead to happier marriages." — Lisa Shield

"Without a prenup, a lot of people lose what they built up even before the marriage." — Aaron Thomas

"Most couples find it best to have, like I said, three buckets, a joint bucket and then two separate buckets so you still have autonomy over the money in your separate funds." — Aaron Thomas

"It's one of the biggest issues about relationships in general...people fall in love and they're under the illusion that whatever they're feeling in the initial stages is going to go on for the rest of the relationship." — Lisa Shield

"People today...have an easier time getting physically naked than they do getting fiscally naked." — Aaron Thomas

"What you are saying is that having a prenup isn’t just about preparing for what will happen in the case of a divorce. When you write a prenup, you're also looking at how you're going to handle your finances throughout the marriage. That's a very important distinction that you're making there." — Lisa Shield

"And I would actually say that one of the sexiest things my husband ever did was on our fifth date, he sat down and he literally said, these are my finances. He told me. And for me, I felt so taken care of because he was being completely transparent. It spoke volumes about who he is, who he would be as a partner, and what our future would look like together. A lot of couples are afraid to talk about those things, but for me, it was sexy." — Lisa Shield

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Email the podcast at: [email protected]

Want more content like this?

Continue On Your Journey:

Lisa Shield| YouTube | Facebook | Instagram | Book a Call with Lisa

Email the podcast at: [email protected]

What You'll Hear In This Episode:

Communication differences surrounding certain phrases, such as “I need time alone” and "we need to talk"

Clarifying the meaning of commitment with each partner

Asking specific questions to understand expectations and intentions

Regular communication and clarification to avoid misunderstandings

Importance of discussing expectations and desires for building a deeper connection

Addressing potential issues and clarifying intentions early on

Recognizing signs of a potential mismatch in commitment levels

Importance of addressing concerns and desires to avoid future hurt and disappointment

Men also need space for personal growth and processing, similar to women

Seriousness for men may involve consistency and integrating each other into daily routines, not necessarily long-term plans

Differences in views on moving in together

Importance of open communication and taking time to be sure before making such big decisions

Highlighting the need for communication and understanding differing perspectives in a relationship

Key quotes:

• "When most women tell a man they want to ‘take it slowly,’ they are saying they want to build a strong emotional foundation before having sex. They want deep meaningful conversations and to build the emotional intimacy first. For men, taking it slowly often means NOT having intimate talks that go too deep." – Lisa Shield
• “When a woman hears the phrase 'I need some space,' it can trigger catastrophic thinking and tap into her insecurities, causing her to question the stability of the relationship. On the other hand, for some men, being in a serious relationship may simply mean integrating each other into their daily routines and getting to know each other better, without necessarily signaling long-term plans or commitments." — Lisa Shield
• “It is good to have a conversation to clarify what you mean by certain phrases. You can say, ‘Hey, ________, I know that we said we're in a committed relationship, and I also know that being in a committed relationship, that word can have different meanings for different people. I would love to hear what it means for you.’” — Lisa Shield

Continue On Your Journey:

Lisa Shield | YouTube | Facebook | Instagram | Book a Call With Lisa

Email the podcast at: [email protected]

Want more content like this?

Continue On Your Journey:

Lisa Shield| YouTube | Facebook | Instagram | Book a Call with Lisa

Email the podcast at: [email protected]