Abuse is Abuse: Why Labels Don't Help (even if they are a psychopath or narcissist)
01/10/25 • 22 min
In this very first episode of Escape the Paradox, I explore a common misconception: the idea that labeling an abuser—whether as a narcissist, psychopath, or anything else—somehow explains, or excuses, their behavior.
Abuse isn’t about a diagnosis; it’s about actions.
We dive into why focusing on labels can shift the conversation away from what really matters: the harm caused and the patterns of control, intimidation, and manipulation that define abuse.
Join me as we uncover the truths about abuse, discuss why labels often fall short, and refocus our attention on moving forward.
Sources
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed.) – American Psychiatric Association (2013).
Link: https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.books.9780890425596
For more information and access to Hare’s checklist used extensively in forensic psychology to evaluate personality traits and behaviors associated with psychopathy, visit here: https://arc.psych.wisc.edu/self-report/psychopathy-checklist-revised-pclr/ and download the checklist.
Welcome to Escape the Paradox , a podcast dedicated to exposing and exploring the truth about coercive control, emotional abuse, and the long-term trauma caused by abusive relationships.
Whether it's childhood abuse from a parent, intimate partner violence, or domestic abuse in any form, this podcast dives into the patterns, dynamics, and the psychological impact.
My name is Helena, and I am your host! I share my own lived experience as a survivor of childhood abuse, while also creating space for survivor stories, expert insight, and compassionate support.
Healing is non-linear, and a complex and difficult process.
If you're looking for support, please visit escapetheparadox.com to learn more about my services in abuse consulting and advocacy and 1:1 sessions.
Don't forget to subscribe (follow) wherever you get your podcasts!
Remember: It's not your fault, and your story matters!
In this very first episode of Escape the Paradox, I explore a common misconception: the idea that labeling an abuser—whether as a narcissist, psychopath, or anything else—somehow explains, or excuses, their behavior.
Abuse isn’t about a diagnosis; it’s about actions.
We dive into why focusing on labels can shift the conversation away from what really matters: the harm caused and the patterns of control, intimidation, and manipulation that define abuse.
Join me as we uncover the truths about abuse, discuss why labels often fall short, and refocus our attention on moving forward.
Sources
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed.) – American Psychiatric Association (2013).
Link: https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.books.9780890425596
For more information and access to Hare’s checklist used extensively in forensic psychology to evaluate personality traits and behaviors associated with psychopathy, visit here: https://arc.psych.wisc.edu/self-report/psychopathy-checklist-revised-pclr/ and download the checklist.
Welcome to Escape the Paradox , a podcast dedicated to exposing and exploring the truth about coercive control, emotional abuse, and the long-term trauma caused by abusive relationships.
Whether it's childhood abuse from a parent, intimate partner violence, or domestic abuse in any form, this podcast dives into the patterns, dynamics, and the psychological impact.
My name is Helena, and I am your host! I share my own lived experience as a survivor of childhood abuse, while also creating space for survivor stories, expert insight, and compassionate support.
Healing is non-linear, and a complex and difficult process.
If you're looking for support, please visit escapetheparadox.com to learn more about my services in abuse consulting and advocacy and 1:1 sessions.
Don't forget to subscribe (follow) wherever you get your podcasts!
Remember: It's not your fault, and your story matters!
Previous Episode
Introduction: Breaking My Paradox
This podcast discusses sensitive topics, including coercive control and the emotional impact of abuse.
In this introduction, I share why I believe it’s so important to learn how to verbalize the impact coercive control has. By sharing my truth, I hope to help others do the same. I’m claiming my narrative, and healing alongside you. By sharing my own story, I hope to show others that it’s not only possible to break the silence, but it’s also an essential step in the healing process.
Welcome to Escape the Paradox , a podcast dedicated to exposing and exploring the truth about coercive control, emotional abuse, and the long-term trauma caused by abusive relationships.
Whether it's childhood abuse from a parent, intimate partner violence, or domestic abuse in any form, this podcast dives into the patterns, dynamics, and the psychological impact.
My name is Helena, and I am your host! I share my own lived experience as a survivor of childhood abuse, while also creating space for survivor stories, expert insight, and compassionate support.
Healing is non-linear, and a complex and difficult process.
If you're looking for support, please visit escapetheparadox.com to learn more about my services in abuse consulting and advocacy and 1:1 sessions.
Don't forget to subscribe (follow) wherever you get your podcasts!
Remember: It's not your fault, and your story matters!
Next Episode
Coercion and Threats in Relationships: Understanding Abuse, Domestic Violence, and Coercive Control
In this episode of Escape the Paradox, let's delve into the "Coercion and Threats" section of the Power and Control Wheel. Learn how abusers use coercive tactics to instill fear and maintain control over their targets. Learn to recognize these behaviors, and understand their impact. Whether you're seeking clarity or supporting someone you care about, this episode sheds light on the covert, and difficult to verbalize, dynamics of coercive control.
Sources
I reference the Power and Control Wheel, which was developed by the Domestic Abuse Intervention Programs in Duluth, Minnesota. For more information, visit this on their website: https://www.theduluthmodel.org/wheels/
Please see the study conducted by Wood, K., Giesbrecht, C. J., Brooks, C., & Arisman, K. in 2024: "I couldn't leave the farm: Rural women's experiences of intimate partner violence and coercive control” found at https://doi.org/10.1177/10778012241279117 which I drew on during my podcast.
Welcome to Escape the Paradox , a podcast dedicated to exposing and exploring the truth about coercive control, emotional abuse, and the long-term trauma caused by abusive relationships.
Whether it's childhood abuse from a parent, intimate partner violence, or domestic abuse in any form, this podcast dives into the patterns, dynamics, and the psychological impact.
My name is Helena, and I am your host! I share my own lived experience as a survivor of childhood abuse, while also creating space for survivor stories, expert insight, and compassionate support.
Healing is non-linear, and a complex and difficult process.
If you're looking for support, please visit escapetheparadox.com to learn more about my services in abuse consulting and advocacy and 1:1 sessions.
Don't forget to subscribe (follow) wherever you get your podcasts!
Remember: It's not your fault, and your story matters!
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