046 - After We Collided (Film)

Explicit content warning

07/24/24 • 85 min

Buckle up, masochists! It's time for another deep dive into the cesspool of young adult drama with Liz and Scott as they tackle 'After We Collided,' the second cinematic masterpiece in the 'After' saga.

We navigate the turbulent waters of Tessa and Hardin's totally healthy and not-at-all toxic relationship. Watch as they unpack:

The world's most lenient intern program (complete with company car and insurance!)
A magical New Year's Eve party where everyone forgives and forgets faster than Hardin can say "I'm sorry"
The revolving door of actors playing key characters (because why not?)
Trevor's sexy spreadsheets and his valiant attempts to woo Tessa with cost-benefit analyses

But wait, there's more! Enjoy as we ponder life's important questions:

How many objects will Hardin break this time?
Is a Washington state heat wave actually a thing?
Will wine floats be the next big trend in mixology?
How many times can one say "fucking Trevor" before it loses all meaning?

So grab your favorite bottle of bottom-shelf vodka, cozy up with your "I <3 Hardin" body pillow, and prepare for an hour of snarky commentary that'll leave you questioning your life choices almost as much as Tessa should be questioning hers.

Remember: if you drink every time someone makes a terrible decision, you'll be in the ER before the halfway mark. You've been warned.

We navigate the turbulent waters of Tessa and Hardin's totally healthy and not-at-all toxic relationship. Watch as they unpack:

The world's most lenient intern program (complete with company car and insurance!)
A magical New Year's Eve party where everyone forgives and forgets faster than Hardin can say "I'm sorry"
The revolving door of actors playing key characters (because why not?)
Trevor's sexy spreadsheets and his valiant attempts to woo Tessa with cost-benefit analyses

But wait, there's more! Enjoy as we ponder life's important questions:

How many objects will Hardin break this time?
Is a Washington state heat wave actually a thing?
Will wine floats be the next big trend in mixology?
How many times can one say "fucking Trevor" before it loses all meaning?

Remember: if you drink every time someone makes a terrible decision, you'll be in the ER before the halfway mark. You've been warned.

Previous Episode

045 - The Kissing Booth 3 [Netflix]

Join Liz and Scott as they dive headfirst into the dumpster fire that is The Kissing Booth 3, the final installment in Netflix's teen romance trilogy that absolutely no one asked for. In this episode, we recap and review Elle's last summer of poor decision-making before college.

Episode Highlights:

Elle's never-ending struggle to choose between Harvard (with brooding boyfriend Noah) and Berkeley (with whiny bestie Lee)
The world's most dramatic beach house sale that somehow becomes everyone's problem
A "bucket list" that mysteriously appears just in time to create more drama
Marco's return, because apparently two movies of love triangle weren't enough
Go-kart races that would make Mario proud (and probably terrify actual race track owners)
More apologies than a Canadian convention

Listen as we break down the convoluted plot, question the characters' life choices, and try to figure out why this movie is nearly two hours long. Will Elle finally learn to communicate? Will Lee ever grow up? Will Noah put on a shirt? Find out in this snarky deep dive into teen movie madness.

So grab your popcorn, your sense of humor, and maybe a strong drink (if you're of legal age, unlike these characters) as we say goodbye to The Kissing Booth. It's been real... real ridiculous.

Note to listeners: We'll be recapping the entire movie in this episode. If you haven't watched The Kissing Booth 3 yet and want to experience the chaos firsthand, go ahead and watch it first (at your own peril). We'll be here waiting with our snarky commentary when you're done.

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Next Episode

047 - The Summer I Turned Pretty S1E3 [Prime]

Welcome back to Dumpsterpiece Theatre, where we dive headfirst into the teenage drama pool that is "The Summer I Turned Pretty." In this episode, we witness Belly's not-so-sweet 16th birthday unfold like a slow-motion train wreck.

The festivities kick off with fancy gifts, including a pearl necklace that's totally not a metaphor for anything. Conrad, ever the brooding heartthrob, forgets Belly's gift because apparently being mysterious is more important than basic social etiquette.

Hurricane Taylor blows into town, stirring up drama faster than you can say "love quadrangle." She proceeds to make out with Steven, violating the sacred "don't hook up with your bestie's brother" rule. Meanwhile, Jeremiah channels his inner golden retriever, wagging his tail at anything that moves.

The episode culminates in a party scene that's about as awkward as a middle school dance. Belly sulks, Conrad broods (shocking), and Cam tries desperately to be relevant. Oh, and we learn that Beck is keeping a devastating secret because nothing says "summer fun" like impending tragedy.

We dissect the wooden acting, questionable plot choices, and the show's attempt to shoehorn in climate change awareness. We also take a detour to discuss Bon Iver's cabin fever-induced musical genius, because why not?

Tune in next week when we dive into Lurlene McDaniel's "Time to Let Go," where we're sure to encounter more teenage angst and probably a few more dead relatives. It's gonna be a headache-inducing good time!

IMDB

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