030 - My Secret Boyfriend by Lurlene McDaniel

We're back with another Lurlene McDaniel story, "My Secret Boyfriend." Don't worry, no one dies in this one. Instead, we get some sweet junior high drama with Jordan Starling, who makes up a relationship with a distant boy she knows (Ryan Elliot) to try to fit in. When she finds out that he's coming to live with her family, all hell breaks loose.

Jordan, who is lamenting that she's not yet a "real girl," has just come back from a summer vacation and is starting 8th grade with her BFF Laurie and airhead frienemy Jennifer. While it seems that everyone else has boyfriends, Jordan does not, and she feels left out. So when her mom receives a letter from her college bestie, Beth, Jordan decides to make Beth's son, Ryan, her long-distance boyfriend. It just so happens that Beth included a pic of him (with muscular thighs) that Jordan absconds with so she can sneakily show her friends. When they come to live with Jordan (due to their father leaving them), Jordan spends the rest of the book trying to craft a web of lies to keep up the charade. Jordan's dad, on the other hand, spends a lot of time traveling for work, including to "the Orient." Ryan tells Jordan she looks "sort of athletic" and convinces her to start jogging with him, which brings them closer together, but only as friends (she doesn't get the "bells and whistles" from him.)

Ryan is confused as to why all of her friends keep asking him questions about running in the Rockies, even though he's never been "east of the Mississippi..." HUH? The group spends a lot of time at the Polar/Pleasure Palace, eating massive bowls of ice cream, but Ryan still wants Jordan's milkshakes like literally every day. We find out that Jennifer has broken up with her boy, Glen Lockwood, but that's okay because he's boring AF and doesn't want to "stand around talking all day." So now Jennifer's out on the prowl and becomes "Mrs. Steal Yo Man" when she gets the impression that Jordan and Ryan aren't really acting like BF/GF. Laurie can't figure out why Jordan isn't hurt by this, but she's too busy gaslighting Ryan to really pretend to be his girlfriend.

So put on your 10-gallon hat and head on over to Carmen's party for a horseback ride, grab some of the hay for an all-out-war, and strap into those stirrups for a wild ride. Just don't let Jordan's brother, Jamey, blackmail you into kitchen duty. We're recapping this, so feel free to read it first - it's pretty easy to find. Otherwise just hit that play button and let us take you on the rollercoaster of teenage emotions.

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