DREAM. THINK. DO. - A 6 Word Phrase To Help You Beat Comparison

A 6 Word Phrase To Help You Beat Comparison

07/09/20 • 18 min

This week we’re talking about overcoming COMPARISON! Seriously, have you ever opened up your social media app... you scrolled... scrolled... and then WHAM! It hits you... that wave of COMPARISON. Those feelings of: “I’m behind,” or “I’ve missed it” or “I’m too late” or “I’m not as ________ as them.” Here’s the deal. I think comparison kills more dreams and big ideas than just about anything else. And THAT is why we’re going after it this week. I’m going to get you a six-word phrase that’s helped set me and my coaching clients free from the “comparison trap!” (Plus, I’ll give you the fun story of when and how it hit me!) So... if you’re wanting to bust free from the weariness that comes from comparison... I’ve got your back! Let’s do this. Listen To The Podcast: RESOURCES: DREAM THINK DO Episode 213: “Identity Statements,” www.mitchmatthews.com/213 Mitch’s Success Coaching: www.mitchmatthews.com/success-coaching MINUTE BY MINUTE: 0:02 What to expect today 1:42 Comparison kills dreams 4:07 When Mitch experienced comparison 6:39 The phrase that ended comparison for Mitch 8:00 the benefits of staying in “learning mode” 9:51 Instead vs. Not 13:18 The foundation of the phrase 14:20 What to do when you are feeling intimidated 17:14 How to get coaching from Mitch MORE ABOUT THE EPISODE: Recently, I was working with one of my coaching clients. He’s an entrepreneur working on a new project. It has the potential to be big... really big. But part of it is going to involve him having more of a social media presence. This has caused him to look at what other people are doing which sparked a conversation about feeling those pangs of “comparison.” You know those feelings that can sometimes come when you see other people doing something or achieving something that you want to do or experience. Those feelings of: Do I have what it takes? Did I miss it? Am I too late? I could totally relate. I can totally relate. In fact, I had a similar experience when I was asked to be on stage at a big conference. I knew some of my heroes from the speaking world were going to be there too. People like Brendon Burchard, Jack Canfield, and Les Brown. Once I was there, I got to see them in action on stage. Plus, I was able to connect with them backstage too. I’ll admit those inner-voices of comparison started to weasel their way into my thinking. I started to have doubts. What if I wasn’t as good as they were? What if I couldn't deliver at the same level? What if my content didn’t resonate? But then I got hit with this phrase and it was so freeing. I think it was a gift from God because you know I was praying... BIG time! This phrase hit me and as I let it sink it... I got hit with a sense of calm... this sense of peace. This phrase helped me to move into a healthier state of mind. It helped me to start to feel confident. It helped me to move out of fear and be more open to the awesome things that were happening around me. It helped me to stay out of comparison and instead... it enabled me to take in the gold the speakers were sharing... as well as take in the full experience and learn from the whole situation. I can tell you this phrase has helped me so much since too. Any time when I’m moving into comparison mode. You know those times when you’re: - scrolling through social media - or reading a book or a memoir by someone who’s done something YOU want to do - hearing a story of a breakthrough from a friend or a client If I feel that comparison starts to creep in... I remind myself of the phrase and it makes all the difference. Are you ready for it? Here’s the phrase. “Learn from instead of comparing to.” Such a simple phrase but it makes a huge difference. There are three elements to this phrase. Let’s break it down. LEARNING FROM:

Previous Episode

A Masterclass on Hard Conversations: Part 3 – What to do AFTER!

We’re talking about what to do AFTER that difficult conversation. Our first two episodes on the CRITICAL subject of having HARD (but RICH) conversations have been huge! In fact, it’s led to some of our biggest download numbers of the year! (Thanks for spreading the word!) That means we’re hitting on a topic that people need right now. That’s why we’re talking about what to do AFTER the conversation. I offer THREE tenets to live by in about 15 minutes. Short and sweet. NOTE: The 2nd will help you to know what to do if you think you’ve offended someone. (Because that’s a hard reality of our current era... right?) BTW... the strategy might surprise you... but I think it will also help you to feel a sense of freedom too! So let’s get to it! Listen To The Podcast: RESOURCES: www.mitchmatthews.com/273 - Preparing for a HARD conversation www.mitchmatthews.com/274 - MINDSET for hard conversations www.mitchmatthews.com/211 - Finding the Middle Ground with Congressman Ro Khanna Marianne Williamson quote on honor and respecting each other: “A healthy, vital society is not one in which we all agree. It is one in which those who disagree can do so with honor and respect for other people’s opinions... and an appreciation of our shared humanity.” A Masterclass on Hard Conversations: Part 3 SHOW NOTES: We’re going after 3 TENETS in about 15 minutes. So let’s get to it! FIRST TENENT: Love first. Love last. Love fully. If you’ve been listening to DTD for a while... you know I’m a Jesus guy and I love the Bible. So I do my best to follow what I’ve learned from the Bible. I sure don’t do that perfectly... but I’ve found that if I try to understand what’s in there... and know that God loves me... a lot... as I do... things seem to work out pretty darn well. And I have a much better life. Now I’m going to stop right there and acknowledge the fact that I may have thrown out something we may or may not agree upon... but I wanted to give you some of my own personal foundation for the first strategy. (How about that for navigating difficult conversations! HA!) Here’s the deal... people were always asking Jesus about the rules... and laws. Sometimes He would offer stories and metaphors... other times He would offer different ways to look at things... sometimes He would raise the stakes and poke a little bit. But in one particular interaction, someone was trying to set Jesus up... my hope was they were truly trying to learn... but some people think this guy was trying to get Jesus to say something that would get Him in trouble. The question was: of ALL the commandments... of ALL the rules that we live by... which is the most important? Can you imagine? It was a rules-based culture. The rules were everything. The people who memorized the rules were elevated... they were respected... they were feared. The more rules you knew... the more power you had. But Jesus did this wild thing in his response. He said... Okay... of ALL the rules... the TWO most important rules are: Love God with all your heart. Love your neighbor as yourself. Love. Love. Love. Love God. Love others. Love yourself. Now THAT is something I can remember. Now you might be asking, “What does it have to do with difficult conversations?” Well... sometimes they’re going to go the way you want them to. Sometimes they’re not. But I’ve found that if I focus on loving the person... which can mean truly listening... which can mean honoring... which can mean respecting them... even if we don’t agree. If I do THAT... it almost always leads to a much higher chance for a rich relationship... before, during, AND after. Now, here’s the thing. Loving someone doesn’t mean acquiesce. It doesn’t mean being a doormat. It means being humble AND confident. Humble confidence. In fact, I like what Frank Turner from Qurora.com said about humility. “To be humble is to not make yourself more important than others.

Next Episode

DREAM THINK DO: ASK and ADAPT!

We’re diving into two quick but powerful concepts to help you navigate this wild time. And hey... if we do this right, we can all turn 2020 into one of our best years yet! That’s no small order but I think we’re all up for it. The key is our willingness to ADAPT and pivot (I’ll give you some specific examples of what we’ve done with the show) and to ASK people what they want. This episode is short and sweet... AND we wrap up by asking what YOU want me to focus on as we look to finish 2020 strong! So let’s get to this! “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.” George Bernard Shaw “Adapt what is useful, reject what is useless, and add what is specifically your own.” Bruce Lee “Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change.” Stephen Hawking “Every success story is a tale of constant adaptation, revision, and change!” Richard Branson EPISODES MENTIONED: DTD INTERVIEW WITH MOVIE CRITIC RUSS MATTHEWS (Mitch’s brother): MitchMatthews.com/104 GRATITUDE: We’re kicking things off with some celebration and gratitude for YOU... the DREAM THINK DO-er! We’re grateful for each and every download... because each one represents someone who’s willing to defy the odds to DREAM bigger, THINK better, and DO more of what they were put on the planet to do! Recently, we’ve had downloads from places like China, Russia, and even Kazakhstan! Who knew? But we also hear from so many awesome DTDers in great places like Iceland, Great Britain, New Zealand, Australia, Canada... and of course... my home... the USA! We’re grateful for ALL of you and how you continue to invite others to join us too! THANK YOU! ADAPT: It’s been a crazy year so far. Heck... I’m betting we can all agree it’s one of the wildest any of us has ever experienced. It’s shifted so many things. How we work, how we shop, how we eat, how we church, how we congregate and gather... heck... even how we do birthdays and weddings! Adapting and pivoting have had to become mainstream. One example is how it’s hit the podcast industry. You may or may not know that many podcasts lost 30 to 50% of their downloads in one week. The week things REALLY shut down and almost everyone started to work from home. Why? Well, as it turns out... most people listened to podcasts while they were commuting and at work. So... if people aren’t driving to work and/or sitting at their work desks... many aren’t listening to podcasts. Boom. 30 to 50% gone. Overnight. We got hit by that too. But... we adapted. We started to watch the numbers to see where and when people started to listen. Not surprisingly, more people started to listen on the weekends. Also... not surprisingly... they started to listen for a shorter period of time. So... we shifted. (You may have noticed.) Now, instead of releasing on Tuesdays and promoting on Wednesdays. We’re releasing on Thursdays or Fridays and promoting on Fridays or Saturdays. We also shorted the average episode length from 45 minutes to less than 20 minutes. We pivoted. You guys responded. So much so that although we took that 50% hit... like the rest of the industry... we’re now hitting download numbers higher than what we were experiencing before this virus wildness came on the scene! #suckitcovid Thanks for helping to make that happen and thanks SO much for continuing to share DREAM THINK DO with your family and friends! We’re so grateful for you! And hey... that’s one example of some PIVOTS we’ve been experimenting with. How about you? What are some small (or big) changes you’ve been making to adapt and thrive in this weird wild season? We want to hear from YOU! (Comment below!) ASK: Also, as we adapt and pivot... we also want to ASK. That’s right. I want to hear from YOU! Because I want us all to thrive in the midst of all the curveball...