This conversation covers apologies. True remorse is healing for everyone. However, an apology outside of your truth can be damaging. That damage, unfortunately, happens mainly inside you. It negates the positive self talk from Episode 1.

Brene Brown LinkedIn Post and Brene's Podcast with Harriett Lerner

Canadian sociologist Maja Jovanovic believes the “sorry”s we sprinkle through our days hurt us. They make us appear smaller and more timid than we really are, and they can undercut our confidence. However, research conducted at Harvard Business School indicates that we make superfluous apologies with the goal of building or maintain trust. Who do we likely not trust then? OURSELVES!

The GOOD:

When it is your truth. Empathetic people. People who value harmony. Those who strive to include. People who lead with positivity. Think about your personality descriptors from Episode 3, perhaps you're living your truth when you say 'I'm sorry'.

Some types of apologies can encourage forgiveness, repair relationships and dissolve hostility. But they aren’t easy to come by and require more than just saying “I’m sorry”: the person apologizing must go the extra mile and express genuine remorse or offer to make amends.

The BAD:

When it is not or even somewhat sincere, the filler words.
To avoid further conflict.

Signs you’re apologizing excessively and maybe creating internal conflict:

You apologize for things you have no control over.
You apologize for someone else's actions.
You apologize for normal, everyday situations.
You apologize to inanimate objects.
You're not sure why you're apologizing.
You apologize for things you don't believe are wrong.
You apologize when asking for something.
You apologize when you're trying to be assertive.
Or they expressly tell you to stop apologizing.
You find it hard to leave it at "I'm sorry" when an apology is actually necessary.

The UGLY:

Needless apologies diminish us, it’s like bad self talk because you’re speaking it out over and over.

Instead:

GIVE THE ATTENTION TO WHAT IS RIGHT vs what is wrong. Attitude of Gratitude!

The next time you bump into someone: you could say, Go ahead, After you or Pardon me.

Sorry I’m late - Thank you for waiting.
I’m sorry I’m so sensitive - thank you for understanding how I process.
I’m sorry that you have to help me so much - thank you for teaching me.
I’m sorry that I talk too much - thank you for listening to me.
I’m sorry I don’t understand - Could you please say a bit more about that for me? or Can you please help me understand this better, maybe by using an example
I'm sorry for complaining or I'm sorry for venting, say, ‘Thank you for listening, Thank you for being there or Thank you for being my friend.

Pause Before Apologizing! Make sure what you're about to say is YOUR TRUTH!

Join Dr. Anna Stumpf as she talks with Coach Julie Downey about living an energized and purpose-driven life. Julie shares her journey from real estate to coaching entrepreneurs, prioritizing self-care and wellness, empowering women, and embracing change and new opportunities. Gain insights on discovering your unique abilities, achieving mastery, and finding alignment between your passion and purpose.
The books mentioned in the podcast episode are:

"Unique Ability" by Dan Sullivan This concept and book have been adapted by a new author who offers this book and workbook. You can google Dan Sullivan and his many appearances and coaching business.

"Happy Money" by Jason Vitug

"The Gap and The Gain" by Dan Sullivan
Quote of the show: " Asking the right questions takes as much skill as having the right answers"- Robert Half
The Collective Challenge:
Our collective challenge for this show is to figure out some of your mastery in your innate talents, unlock some new levels, maybe of your confidence and some exploration.

• Ask five to 10 people across different areas of your to describe you or your impact may be on them. Ask them for five words, and then look for themes in their responses, maybe some patterns.
• The other thing you can do is make a list of activities where you get into that like flow state or you lose track of time or it doesn't feel like work and look for themes of where you're getting energy and enjoyment.
• The third thing you can do is identify tangible skills that come really easily for you. And remember, you don't have to love these. They're just skills that you have.
• Maybe even start like a journal page. Then, fill these skills, words, tasks, or themes over time as you run across them.
• Ultimately, take a look at all of these strains of genius where you have people's descriptions of you, you have lists of activities where you kind of get lost in you have some of your tangible skills, and take a look at the impact the energy, the skills, and what kind of unique ability, unique themes, tie these together, and then start to brainstorm ways to use these abilities more, maybe through a pivot, volunteering, a passion project, whatever that might be just some sort of discovery is always the first step. And living on purpose is the fun part.

Show Notes with Timestamps:

00:07 - Introduction by Anna Stumpf and overview of the episode

01:21 - Julie Downey shares her background and initial career choices

05:09 - The shift from real estate to personal coaching

10:42 - Julie discusses the challenges and breakthroughs in her journey

16:12 - The evolution of Julie's career and her move towards coaching

21:27 - Discovering coaching as a calling through self-awareness exercises

26:39 - Julie talks about the impact of coaching and her approach

32:28 - Strategies for work-life balance and personal well-being

39:09 - Future aspirations and the importance of community and connection

44:27 - Mastery and the power of saying no

48:01 - Julie's recommendations for personal development and resources

Have you heard about the Energy Coin? Learn about it here or in this previous episode.
Today's episode gives four examples of energy coin impact just to give you a boost of energy! Enjoy!
Music by Music Unlimited from Pixabay

Cheryl Burke is a life coach. What does that mean? How is that different than a career coach or therapist? How long does a person need a life coach (your whole life?!?)? What does it cost? How do you choose one? All of these questions are answered in this conversation along with some amazing gold nuggets of information and even some quotes. I took so many notes during this episode!
Cheryl's Website
Cheryl on LinkedIn
Cheryl's Facebook Page
Cheryl on IG
ICF Certified Coach Finder

In the dictionary, re·sil·ience: the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness. But, a recent listener email said "I would love to hear your opinion on how to handle "failure"/rejections and how young adults can see that as a redirection but first of all how to handle that logistically and realistically after we put so much hope into that job or career path."
What a very loaded request. One that is constantly on the minds of many young adults, but many adults even beyond their careers. What we are talking about here isn't failure, rejection, or hope; it is resiliency.
It is also many of the attributes, practices and mindsets I've discussed in previous episodes. So, join this conversation where I explain why that show request is a lot to unpack.