You're Addicted and You Don't Even Know It

09/04/20 • 14 min

Busting Addiction and Its Myths

In this article, I ask the question: "Are You Addicted and Not Even Know It"?

We cover the following topics:

You could be addicted to the addict himself and not know it until you have to look at it and begin to see your addiction as the cause of your pain.
Those who love an addict/alcoholic are just as powerless over their loved one's addiction as is the addict himself.
Co-dependency is revealed and amplified in families who have an addict in their midst, and it results in much irrational behaviour. Co-dependency shows up as obsessive thinking and controlling behaviour.
All driven by the illusion that if we obsess and manipulate "effectively", the addict will change his ways. The cruel fact is that he just wants to get high, today, every day. Sabotaging his life in a vain attempt to escape life's inevitable reality.
Although there are other ways of dealing with the presence of addiction in our lives, I can only speak to the sanity-saving power that comes with practicing the principals of the Al-Anon program.
AA is found at www.aa.org Al-Anon is found at www.al-anon.org and we are at www.safehouserehab.com

In this article, I ask the question: "Are You Addicted and Not Even Know It"?

We cover the following topics:

You could be addicted to the addict himself and not know it until you have to look at it and begin to see your addiction as the cause of your pain.
Those who love an addict/alcoholic are just as powerless over their loved one's addiction as is the addict himself.
Co-dependency is revealed and amplified in families who have an addict in their midst, and it results in much irrational behaviour. Co-dependency shows up as obsessive thinking and controlling behaviour.
All driven by the illusion that if we obsess and manipulate "effectively", the addict will change his ways. The cruel fact is that he just wants to get high, today, every day. Sabotaging his life in a vain attempt to escape life's inevitable reality.
Although there are other ways of dealing with the presence of addiction in our lives, I can only speak to the sanity-saving power that comes with practicing the principals of the Al-Anon program.
AA is found at www.aa.org Al-Anon is found at www.al-anon.org and we are at www.safehouserehab.com

Previous Episode

What it Takes to FAIL

In this article we discuss the things that signal a potential relapse in the making:
There are key signs that the addict typically does not notice or will not acknowledge. Essentially the things that signal a coming relapse are not doing the things that keep us clean and sober.

Probably the most prominent sign of a coming relapse is DENIAL which stands for Don’t Even Notice I Am Lying. So even if one were to call the addict on his slippery behaviour, he will minimize, evade, lie, blame a family member, or bad luck, on anyone but himself.
Not getting a sponsor or not talking to him or her is an almost-sure sign that the addict’s program is adrift. That inaction goes hand in hand with not having a regular schedule of 12-step meetings.
Not acknowledging and understanding the consequences of one’s actions is a sure sign that the addict has something else on his mind. It is a truism that the addict has begun relapsing in his head quite a while before he takes that drink or picks up that drug. Again. This is where the game of denial starts to play out.
Best at this stage to have a talk with his therapist, counsellor, sponsor, or anyone else the addict might be close to in the recovery context. We get caught up in trying to help the addict any way we can that makes sense to us, and therefore it’s natural to try to “figure this out” without having an objective perspective on the disorder and how it works.
Another danger sign is spending way too much time on regrets of what the addict did in the past, the “would have and should have” done this or that. By focusing on the past, and not letting it stay there with the occasional glimpse in the rear-view mirror as a learning tool, obsession with the past steals the present moment. We teach that the past (and the future) do not exist in reality and that the present moment is where we live. That concept is what gives the idea One Day at A Time such immense power.

Next Episode

Does Addiction Hide in Your Wallet?

In this article, we discuss the often-avoided topic about money and its hold over us. We entitle this essay: "Does Addiction Hide in Your Wallet"?
The key point is that it's not about the money, it's about the compulsion and the certain knowledge that I cannot stop doing this and start doing the opposite on my own.
We cover the following topics:

The odds are that in an addicted household, the disease has run through the family like a freight train, destroying any semblance of normalcy and wrecking the family finances.
Being or becoming a compulsive spender and debtor, although not limited to addicts and their families is a common and tragic outcome of addictive disorder. It sows chaos across every dimension of family life.
The fundamental dynamic of spending and being in debt uncontrollably is an infantile desire to not be held accountable for anything, really. That's why the 12 steps of AA are so pertinent; the same sentiment holds true for addicts and alcoholics. We are all children who do not want to grow up.
The many symptoms I called out above are meant to see if you can identify with some of these behaviours and attitudes and to see if you could find some release from the bondage of debt.
It is indeed not about the money which is but a signal of the problem. It's about the compulsion, and with the Tools of Debtors Anonymous, some of us have been blessed to find our release from this potentially tragic compulsion.