Ep 143 Is your Extreme Independence a Trauma Response?

05/12/22 • 24 min

In this episode, Jen invites you to join her in a conversation around independence. She deep dives into how you have shown up into extreme independence in your life and if this is related to a trauma response.

Key Notes:

The different reasons why we become extremely independent
How extreme independence is a result of a need for safety and to feel valued
How extreme independence doesn’t invite vulnerability
How did you become extremely independent?

Show Notes:

(00:50) What this week’s episode is about

(03:17) How most of our behaviors that we embody through our life are the result or our childhood experiences

(06:37) How one of the most common threads that Jen noticed is a need for safety

(09:07) How extreme independence often comes from a need of safety and a lack of trust

(11:38) Where has seeking for approval externally gotten you?

(12:20) How your extreme independence is your survival strategy

(15:15) How extreme independence can be a result of lack of trust

(17:47) Jen invites you to journal about extreme independence if it resonates about you

Quotes:

(09:00) It can look very different on the outside than how we experience it in the inside

(10:20) We choose to align our actions with our values, not our wounds, not our needs, but our values.

(10:33) Live your life by who you’re becoming, not who you’ve been

(16:24) The attachment that we had being extremely independent has hurt us in some ways

(17:23) Have the gratitude for the courage and the strength that you have to be independent

Links Mentioned:

13 Moons of Devotion: https://www.jenmons.com/13moons-of-devotion

Resources:

Website: https://www.jenmons.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JenMonsCoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jen.mons/

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXFG_uyCRg9nxM43jS9mvUg

Prosperity: https://www.jenmons.com/prosperity

PODCAST DISCLAIMER:

This podcast is to educate, inside, and inform the listeners of various pathways to wholistic well being. This information is not to replace the advise of your physician, specialist, medical doctor, therapist, nutritionist or dietician. Please refer to full Medical Disclaimer Here.

Key Notes:

The different reasons why we become extremely independent
How extreme independence is a result of a need for safety and to feel valued
How extreme independence doesn’t invite vulnerability
How did you become extremely independent?

Show Notes:

(00:50) What this week’s episode is about

(03:17) How most of our behaviors that we embody through our life are the result or our childhood experiences

(06:37) How one of the most common threads that Jen noticed is a need for safety

(09:07) How extreme independence often comes from a need of safety and a lack of trust

(11:38) Where has seeking for approval externally gotten you?

(12:20) How your extreme independence is your survival strategy

(15:15) How extreme independence can be a result of lack of trust

(17:47) Jen invites you to journal about extreme independence if it resonates about you

Quotes:

(09:00) It can look very different on the outside than how we experience it in the inside

(10:20) We choose to align our actions with our values, not our wounds, not our needs, but our values.

(10:33) Live your life by who you’re becoming, not who you’ve been

(16:24) The attachment that we had being extremely independent has hurt us in some ways

(17:23) Have the gratitude for the courage and the strength that you have to be independent

Links Mentioned:

13 Moons of Devotion: https://www.jenmons.com/13moons-of-devotion

Resources:

Website: https://www.jenmons.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JenMonsCoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jen.mons/

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXFG_uyCRg9nxM43jS9mvUg

Prosperity: https://www.jenmons.com/prosperity

PODCAST DISCLAIMER:

Previous Episode

Ep 142 Spiritual Toxicity

In this episode, Jen deep dives into the idea of spiritual toxicity is. She also deep dives into the different areas or forms of spiritual toxicity.

Key Notes:

What is Spiritual Toxicity?
What is Spiritual Bypassing?
The difference between ascension and embodiment
The different areas and forms of spiritual toxicity

Show Notes:

(00:35) Jen shares what this week’s podcast is about

(05:40) How we saw a lot of Spiritual Bypassing the past few years

(09:52) The difference between a coach and a therapist

(11:38) How everything is in a cycle

(12:08) How spiritual bypassing is extremely unhealthy

(13:50) How the conversations in our life is an opportunity to notice and learn something about ourselves

(18:00) Jen shares how we can gather information in an empowering way and how we can shift our energy so that we can show up differently in it

(20:40) How manipulation is another form of spiritual toxicity

(27:37) How manipulation shows up

(33:36) How everything is just a process and a journey and just keep taking that next step forward

(34:09) How scarcity is the lack of trust

(37:28) How our voices matter in order to create a shift and change

Quotes:

(03:35) Keep whatever it is that you’re healing sacred until you are through it

(08:50) I believe us as a whole being integrated holy into the wholeness of who we are

(10:52) There’s always a contraction before an expansion

(13:05) Experiences that happen in our life are there to reflect back to us

(23:40) Too much truth can be harsh. Too much compassion can be enabling.

(28:32) To live in integrated wholeness and well-being

(33:42) People will show up in your life at the right time

(35:04) There is nothing you have to do to earn love

(36:31) At the end of the day, we are all responsible for our own experience

Links Mentioned:

NVC: https://www.cnvc.org/

Resources:

Website: https://www.jenmons.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JenMonsCoaching

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jen.mons/

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXFG_uyCRg9nxM43jS9mvUg

Prosperity: https://www.jenmons.com/prosperity

PODCAST DISCLAIMER:

Next Episode

Ep 144 The Embodiment of your Gifts through Shadow Alchemy with Xavier Dagba

In this episode, Jen interview Xavier Dagba. Xavier is a trauma-informed transformational life coach and shadow work facilitator. He loves to think of himself as an emotional alchemist. His work and teachings are infused with the intent of transmitting the sacred wisdom of the heart. Xavier's own transformational journey brought him to dive into the universe of shadow work and he tends to think that only when you are willing to integrate your shadows, can you fully feel alive. He feels alive the most when he helps people shed their limitations, embrace their repressed power, and live their lives from their hearts, not their wounds.

Key Notes: