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Be with the Word

Be with the Word

Souls and Hearts

“Be With The Word” is a weekly podcast from Souls and Hearts with Dr. Gerry Crete, marriage and family therapist. The hosts delve into human and psychological issues that surface in the upcoming Sunday Mass readings.
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Overall Takeaway

Learn the four essential things that are needed to allow God to grant our hearts’ desire. We also discuss the common psychological impediments to each of these things in petitionary prayer.

Key Verses in Sunday Readings

“The foreigners who join themselves to the LORD,

ministering to him,

loving the name of the LORD,

and becoming his servants—

all who keep the sabbath free from profanation

and hold to my covenant,

them I will bring to my holy mountain

and make joyful in my house of prayer.”

“For God delivered all to disobedience,

that he might have mercy upon all.”

“At that time, Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon.

And behold, a Canaanite woman of that district came and called out,

‘Have pity on me, Lord, Son of David!

My daughter is tormented by a demon.’

But Jesus did not say a word in answer to her.

Jesus’ disciples came and asked him,

‘Send her away, for she keeps calling out after us.’”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

Sometimes we tend to look down on petitionary prayer or see it as only being acceptable if the petition is requested for someone else. In this week’s Gospel, the Canaanite woman begs for Our Lord’s help. Despite the fact that Jesus seems to dismiss her at first, she perseveres.

When God says what seems like “no”, it should increase our desire to ask again to grant our prayers, according to His will. We need to be humble and enlightened by faith and trust that He wants to give us what is the very best for us.

Here are the four essentials things we need to have and do to allow God to answer our prayers:

  1. Have a Worthy Request. Be sure that you come to Christ with a pure intention in your petitionary prayer. Sometimes, we may feel that we are certain something is good for us but may not see all the details. Be sure to add to your prayer a request that God’s will be done in His answer.
  2. Confidence in Christ. Most of us have faulty God images that are based on our worldly relationships. It’s easy to lose confidence in Christ when people have disappointed us. Instead, we need to learn to see God for who He really is and have the utmost confidence and trust in Him.
  3. Stay Engaged. Just like the Canaanite woman, we need to be persistent in our request. Be humble and patient. Many of us may have a fear of rejection, which can lead us to give up on God or on working on our relationship with Him. Instead, we have to work to stay engaged, struggling and wrestling with God through our prayer request.
  4. Humility. Sometimes, making a petitionary request can activate shame, which can close us off to further engagement with Christ. The Canaanite woman is not full of pride. She accepts being compared to a dog and continues to make her request for the healing of her child. She is transparent and vulnerable to not only Christ, but to the disciplines and others in that public setting.

Action Item

Consider the four essential things and think about where you might have psychological impediments to petitionary prayer. Then bring those things to Our Lord in prayer and ask Him to help you overcome them so you can grow in relationship with Him.

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Overall Takeaways

Dr. Gerry: You can celebrate and choose to be grateful.

Dr. Peter: Where are we are seeing Jesus? More importantly, where are we not seeing Jesus?

Key Verses from Sunday Mass Readings

“It was not made known to people in other generations
as it has now been revealed
to his holy apostles and prophets by the Spirit:
that the Gentiles are coheirs, members of the same body,
and copartners in the promise in Christ Jesus through the gospel.”

“Lord, every nation on earth will adore you.”

“Where is the newborn king of the Jews?
We saw his star at its rising
and have come to do him homage.”

“They were overjoyed at seeing the star,
and on entering the house
they saw the child with Mary his mother.
They prostrated themselves and did him homage."

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

  • Recognize that God calls the whole world to Him through this feast.
  • The Magi who were not Jewish saw the star and went looking for Jesus. How many other people were nearby and failed to see the same star? Why do some people see while others do not, even when they look at the same situation?
  • God gives us things to see every day. Do we see the star? Do we recognize Him?
  • Many things blind us. We all have prejudices that keep us from seeing Jesus and recognizing the gifts He sends us.
  • During the holidays, we can be blinded by all the details. Although it’s sometimes hard to feel joy, we can choose to be grateful.
  • It’s important to look back and be thankful for 2019 and acknowledge mistakes, and then look forward to see what we can do better and where we can get support.

Action Item

Dr. Peter: Look at Our Lord in prayer. Ask the question, “Where am I not seeing you, Jesus?” Listen for the answer. If you don’t hear right away, keep asking in prayer or ask your confessor.

Dr. Gerry: Thank one person for simply being in your life.

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Overall Takeaways

Dr. Gerry: We store trauma and wounds in our bodies, and Christ brings healing during Advent.

Dr. Peter: We need to identify our psychological blindness, know ourselves better, and then work to change.

Key Verses from Sunday Mass Readings

“Strengthen the hands that are feeble,
make firm the knees that are weak,
say to those whose hearts are frightened:
Be strong, fear not!”

“Then will the eyes of the blind be opened,
the ears of the deaf be cleared;
then will the lame leap like a stag,
then the tongue of the mute will sing.”

“Make your hearts firm,
because the coming of the Lord is at hand.”

“Amen, I say to you,
among those born of women
there has been none greater than John the Baptist;
yet the least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he."

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

  • Realize we all have blind spots and that it’s human to hide from ourselves and not want to see them. These blind spots are consequences of the Fall and original sin.
  • Be humble and ask others to tell you what you’re not seeing. The most important thing is to seek. Asking loved ones to help you may allow God to work through them to answer you.
  • We cannot overcome psychological lameness by sheer force of the will. We need to prepare ourselves and achieve better readiness.
  • Understand the “order of operations” in dealing with good and bad emotions. First, attend to body; then to the emotions. This will eventually reveal cognitions.
  • Use your body, breathing and prayer to reduce unwarranted fear and anxiety.

Action Item

Ask a loved one to help you find your blind spots. Ask the person to pray and reflect about what you’re not seeing or hearing in your life. Work to tolerate that vulnerability, and be open to how God might be talking to you through this individual.

When you experience good and bad feelings this week, focus on where you feel that emotion in your body. Make a note of those physical feelings to help you gain body awareness.

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Overall Takeaway

Many of us need to learn to down-regulate and re-focus our attention on God in order to better cope with the challenges of daily life. Learn a simple process that can help you slow down before making an impulsive decision.

Key Verses from Sunday Readings

“Then the LORD said to him,

‘Go outside and stand on the mountain before the LORD;

the LORD will be passing by.’”

“Kindness and truth shall meet;

justice and peace shall kiss.”

“‘Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.’

He said, ‘Come.’

Peter got out of the boat and began to walk on the water toward Jesus.

But when he saw how strong the wind was he became frightened;

and, beginning to sink, he cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

In this week’s gospel, Peter follows his heart and asks to go out to our Lord. While he’s focused on Jesus, he’s walking on water, but when he notices the wind and the waves, he starts sinking. We often focus ‘on the wind and waves’ of our lives and lose our focus on Christ.

However, Peter has great resiliency. As soon as he begins sinking, he calls out immediately to Jesus for help. He draws his trust and resiliency from Christ.

Christ calls Peter in the midst of the wind and the waves; He calms the storm after Peter walks out to him. In order to hear and respond to Christ, we need to not only quiet our external environment but also quiet ourselves internally. We need recollection.

We need to learn to filter out unnecessary external stimuli so we can focus on what’s important. We need to attend to our physical bodies, slow down our breathing, down regulate so that we can problem-solve with God’s direction, presence and assistance.

Action Item

This week when we are tempted to be impulsive, try the following technique. Remember SLPTA:

S: Stop, don’t act immediately.

L: Listen internally, reflect, check on your emotions and your physical state.

P: Pray and be recollected.

T: Think about the best course of action in this situation.

A: Action. After slowing down and moving through these steps, then decide on your action.

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Dr. Gerry discusses the Sunday Readings and how to improve recovery from addictions or problematic behaviors by approaching ourselves differently.
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Overall Takeaway

Many of us feel trapped in some aspect of our lives, just as the Pharisees were trying to trap Jesus in their questioning in this week’s gospel. Just as Jesus had an unexpected answer for them, He has one for us if we’re willing to listen.

Key Verses from Sunday Mass Readings

“For the sake of Jacob, my servant,
of Israel, my chosen one,
I have called you by your name,
giving you a title, though you knew me not.”

“We give thanks to God always for all of you,
remembering you in our prayers,
unceasingly calling to mind your work of faith and labor of love
and endurance in hope of our Lord Jesus Christ,
before our God and Father,
knowing, brothers and sisters loved by God,
how you were chosen.”

“The Pharisees went off
and plotted how they might entrap Jesus in speech.”

“Then repay to Caesar what belongs to Caesar
and to God what belongs to God.”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

The Pharisees were trying to create a double bind with their questioning, giving Jesus only two impossible choices to select from. Often, we find ourselves in what seems like a double bind in some aspect of our own lives.

Just as Jesus showed them the true answer, destroying the idea that there was only a black and white option, He is ready and waiting to do that for us as well.

If we experience dissonance or a feeling of being trapped in an impossible situation or relationship, we are called to take that situation to God. Perhaps through prayer, speaking with a trusted loved one, or seeking professional help will give us that answer we’re seeking.

We need to learn to truly trust in God. Often, we want to trust God only if He gives us the answer we want Him to give us. We have to trust in His providence that whatever answer He gives us is best, even if it’s not what we think we want.

Action Item

Think about a situation that doesn’t appear to have a “right” answer. Seek and pray for truth in the situation. Then, seek a second set of eyes. Turn to a trusted friend or family member, priest, or counselor and bring the situation to them. Putting the situation into words can often help. Think about advice you’d give to someone else who is in the same situation to gain distance. Listen to your own advice. Bring that to prayer.

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Overall Takeaways

Dr. Gerry: Our temptations reveal our true needs.

Dr. Peter: Giving into temptation usually begins with doubting God’s ability to meet our needs.

Key Verses from Sunday Readings

“The serpent asked the woman,
‘Did God really tell you not to eat
from any of the trees in the garden?’”

“God knows well that the moment you eat of it

your eyes will be opened and you will be like gods

who know what is good and what is evil.

The woman saw that the tree was good for food,

pleasing to the eyes, and desirable for gaining wisdom.”

“But the gift is not like the transgression.

For if by the transgression of the one, the many died,
how much more did the grace of God
and the gracious gift of the one man Jesus Christ
overflow for the many.”

“He fasted for forty days and forty nights,
and afterwards he was hungry.
The tempter approached and said to him,
‘If you are the Son of God,
command that these stones become loaves of bread.’”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

  • Satan is a real person and tempts us within a relationship. First, the devil tries to introduce doubt as he did with Eve, which attacks faith. Then, we begin to mistrust God, which means we lose hope. Finally, we commit sin that is against love.
  • Behind every sin is often a true, good, legitimate need that is not being met. We turn to sin as a distorted way to meet a real need. Satan tempts us to do so.
  • Jesus is a real person, and we see His humanity in his hunger. Satan tries the same tactic, tempting Jesus to use His power in distorted ways in order to satisfy His true and legitimate need for food.
  • Unlike Adam and Eve, Jesus repudiates Satan and trusts that the Father will meet His needs. Angels were sent to minister to Him; Jesus gets everything Satan promises, but in the right way, through His Father.
  • Catholics often think sin is only about vice, but psychologically, the sin is usually an outward manifestation of an inner pain.
  • For example, young men who struggle with purity often find a greater temptation when they feel closer to God. Why? If they believe that relationship equals fusion, they falsely believe that getting close to God means they will be annihilated. The temptation, then, is a means to survival.

Action Items

Dr. Peter: Ask in prayer, “In what parts of my life do I doubt God’s love?” Ask where you are hurting.

Dr. Gerry: As you prepare for reconciliation during Lent, identify the real need that is behind each of your recurring sins. That need might be better self-care, connection with others, or the need to be seen. Then think of a way to meet that real need in a healthier way to avoid that sin.

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Overall Takeaway

It’s important to understand the difference between the feeling of anger, which carries no moral weight, and the importance of learning to deal with anger in a healthy way psychologically. Doing so, not only affects us in a positive way, but helps us lift up the entire body of Christ.

Key Verses from Sunday Readings

Wrath and anger are hateful things,
yet the sinner hugs them tight.
The vengeful will suffer the LORD’s vengeance,
for he remembers their sins in detail.

The Lord is kind and merciful, slow to anger, and rich in compassion.
For as the heavens are high above the earth,
so surpassing is his kindness toward those who fear him.

At that, the servant fell down, did him homage, and said,
‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back in full.’
Moved with compassion the master of that servant
let him go and forgave him the loan.

Then in anger his master handed him over to the torturers
until he should pay back the whole debt.
So will my heavenly Father do to you,
unless each of you forgives your brother from your heart.”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

It’s important to understand that the feeling of anger carries no moral weight. Jesus is angry at multiple points in the Gospels. His is always a righteous anger that reflects justice, as is the king’s anger in this week’s Gospel reading.

As parents, we need to help our children with emotional regulation. We need to help them find ways that they can appropriately express anger in an acceptable way. It’s not psychologically healthy to believe that angry feelings are wrong.

As adults, we often need to learn the same thing. Often, we will either suppress anger, which means it eventually comes out in other unconscious ways, or we tend to lash out uncontrollably when we’re angry. Instead, we have to titrate anger, understand how to heal from wounds, and make the willful decision not to harbor anger.

It’s also important not to “spiritually bypass” anger, by saying, almost too casually, “Oh, I just forgive whatever wrong happened.” Although forgiveness is an act of the will, doing so casually, can have negative impacts both for yourself and others.

Finally, remember that learning to titrate anger must be done in relationship. This could be in relationship with God through prayer, reaching out for help with a therapist, or dealing with the people involved in the situation.

We are all connected in the Body of Christ. Not only do we need to help one another, but those interconnected relationships affect the health of the entire Church Militant.

Action Items

  1. Identify what you’re angry about. If you’re unreasonably angry about something, look for what’s under that. It could be some unresolved event from the past. Be open to that.
  2. What about this event is emotion and what about this is the will? Am I harboring it? Am I acting out or gossiping?
  3. Choose something relational to do. Take it to prayer. Maybe you want to discuss it further with a confessor, with an individual, or with a therapist.
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Overall Takeaway

It’s so easy to forget to try to see the events of our lives from God’s perspective instead of our own. We want to be in control, and instead of looking with eyes of faith at our personal crosses, we tend to get angry, sad and disappointed in what appears to be an injustice, suffering, or other wrongdoing on God’s part.

Key Verses from Sunday Readings

“You duped me, O LORD, and I let myself be duped;

you were too strong for me, and you triumphed.

All the day I am an object of laughter;

everyone mocks me.”

“But then it becomes like fire burning in my heart,

imprisoned in my bones;

I grow weary holding it in, I cannot endure it.”

“Do not conform yourselves to this age

but be transformed by the renewal of your mind,

that you may discern what is the will of God,

what is good and pleasing and perfect.”

“‘God forbid, Lord! No such thing shall ever happen to you.’

He turned and said to Peter,

‘Get behind me, Satan! You are an obstacle to me.

You are thinking not as God does, but as human beings do.’”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

Just as Jeremiah has an “I’ve had it with you, God!” reaction in the first reading this week, how often do we feel that way about God? Yet, Jeremiah has this solid relationship with God, which is like “fire in his heart” giving him strength to see God’s providence.

Just a few verses before this week’s Gospel reading, Jesus calls Peter His rock, establishing him as the vicar of Christ. Yet, just moments later, Jesus is rebuking Peter. In this week’s Gospel, Peter is seeing Jesus’ upcoming crucifixion only in two dimensions -- only through human eyes. With no crucifixion, there is no redemption. That’s the third dimension; that’s what God sees.

We need to transform our minds to discern God’s will. We can’t understand all the events of our lives, especially the difficulties and sufferings with human reason alone.

We need to renew our minds, addressing the psychological factors that get in the way of seeing in that third dimension, of seeing God’s perspective and His providential love.

“Lord, that I may see!” We need to ask for God’s help and make an effort to see God’s providence. We need to listen, be small, trust in God -- and appreciate how difficult that is for us as fallen humans.

Action Item

Get in the habit of trying to see God’s perspective. Take three sheets of paper and some quiet time and space. Think of something that’s troubling you. It can be something small that just happened or something more long-standing.

On the first sheet of paper, simply write down what comes to mind about that situation.

Pray that the Lord will help you see His perspective, ask to be enlightened. On the second sheet of paper, write down your perceptions and thoughts again.

On the third sheet of paper, try to let God write it down. Ask Him how He sees the situation. If you have trouble with this step, reflect on why and bring that to prayer. For example, “Lord, I’m having trouble hearing you because I’m feeling so angry, hopeless, depressed, anxious, etc.”

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Overall Takeaway

Jesus turns the shame-filled, anxiety-ridden narratives of our lives into redemption and transformation. Often, we don’t recognize that when we’re on that journey, and it takes effort to gain that perspective.

Key Verses From Sunday Readings

“These are the ones who have survived the time of great distress;
they have washed their robes
and made them white in the Blood of the Lamb.”

“Beloved, we are God’s children now;
what we shall be has not yet been revealed.
We do know that when it is revealed we shall be like him,
for we shall see him as he is.”

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are they who mourn,
for they will be comforted.”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

Remember that we didn’t create ourselves. We’re all handed the context of our lives, and we’re called to live it out in a unique way in our journey toward heaven.

We are not the authors of our life narrative; we are the editors. From a psychological perspective, we can change our perception about the events of our lives to see Providence and grow nearer to seeing us as God sees us: as His beloved children.

Remember that you're the protagonist of your story, and that God always gives you a guide to help you along your journey as the “hero” of your story. That may be God the Father, Mother Mary, one of the saints, or someone here on earth.

When we experience shame, we accept the story that someone else tells us about our lives, which is often inaccurate or simply false.

If our story involves great pain, we sometimes come up with a different story to cope. In the short term that can be helpful, but it often causes anxiety and despair in the long run. We need to find a different way to bring a new meaning to our pain and our story. We need to find and accept that transformation that God is waiting to give us.

Action Item

Pick something that has been difficult in your life. What negative emotion do you experience when you recall that part of your story? Now, pause, and think about where you go with that emotion? Does it go to a lie? Apply the story of saints to your story: when suffering comes, find ways to find repentance or purification, and then make a path decision. Go to your guide, pray, and ask how you’re supposed to see your narrative in a new light. Ask God how He wants you to see yourself.

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FAQ

How many episodes does Be with the Word have?

Be with the Word currently has 85 episodes available.

What topics does Be with the Word cover?

The podcast is about Catholic, Health & Fitness, Christianity, Psychology, Mental Health, Counseling, Religion & Spirituality, Mental, Catholicism, Therapy, Podcasts, Health and Therapist.

What is the most popular episode on Be with the Word?

The episode title 'Understanding Superiority Complexes - 30th Sun of Ord Time - Episode 49' is the most popular.

What is the average episode length on Be with the Word?

The average episode length on Be with the Word is 33 minutes.

How often are episodes of Be with the Word released?

Episodes of Be with the Word are typically released every 7 days.

When was the first episode of Be with the Word?

The first episode of Be with the Word was released on Nov 26, 2019.

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