How to Stop Impulsive Behaviors - 19th Sun of Ordinary Time - Episode 38

08/04/20 • 42 min

Overall Takeaway

Many of us need to learn to down-regulate and re-focus our attention on God in order to better cope with the challenges of daily life. Learn a simple process that can help you slow down before making an impulsive decision.

Key Verses from Sunday Readings

“Then the LORD said to him,

‘Go outside and stand on the mountain before the LORD;

the LORD will be passing by.’”

“Kindness and truth shall meet;

justice and peace shall kiss.”

“‘Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.’

He said, ‘Come.’

Peter got out of the boat and began to walk on the water toward Jesus.

But when he saw how strong the wind was he became frightened;

and, beginning to sink, he cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

In this week’s gospel, Peter follows his heart and asks to go out to our Lord. While he’s focused on Jesus, he’s walking on water, but when he notices the wind and the waves, he starts sinking. We often focus ‘on the wind and waves’ of our lives and lose our focus on Christ.

However, Peter has great resiliency. As soon as he begins sinking, he calls out immediately to Jesus for help. He draws his trust and resiliency from Christ.

Christ calls Peter in the midst of the wind and the waves; He calms the storm after Peter walks out to him. In order to hear and respond to Christ, we need to not only quiet our external environment but also quiet ourselves internally. We need recollection.

We need to learn to filter out unnecessary external stimuli so we can focus on what’s important. We need to attend to our physical bodies, slow down our breathing, down regulate so that we can problem-solve with God’s direction, presence and assistance.

Action Item

This week when we are tempted to be impulsive, try the following technique. Remember SLPTA:

S: Stop, don’t act immediately.

L: Listen internally, reflect, check on your emotions and your physical state.

P: Pray and be recollected.

T: Think about the best course of action in this situation.

A: Action. After slowing down and moving through these steps, then decide on your action.

Overall Takeaway

Key Verses from Sunday Readings

“Then the LORD said to him,

‘Go outside and stand on the mountain before the LORD;

the LORD will be passing by.’”

“Kindness and truth shall meet;

justice and peace shall kiss.”

“‘Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.’

He said, ‘Come.’

Peter got out of the boat and began to walk on the water toward Jesus.

But when he saw how strong the wind was he became frightened;

and, beginning to sink, he cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

However, Peter has great resiliency. As soon as he begins sinking, he calls out immediately to Jesus for help. He draws his trust and resiliency from Christ.

Action Item

This week when we are tempted to be impulsive, try the following technique. Remember SLPTA:

S: Stop, don’t act immediately.

L: Listen internally, reflect, check on your emotions and your physical state.

P: Pray and be recollected.

T: Think about the best course of action in this situation.

A: Action. After slowing down and moving through these steps, then decide on your action.

Previous Episode

Finding Safety in a Turbulent World - 18th Sun of Ordinary Time - Episode 37

Overall Takeaway

It’s easy to understand that we often translate our human experiences into how we do or don’t relate to God. If we have lacked safety and security in an important human relationship, it makes it very difficult for us to trust God. Finding ways to work through that disconnect is a key to a more intimate relationship with Him.

Key Verses from Sunday Readings

“Brothers and sisters:

What will separate us from the love of Christ?

Will anguish, or distress, or persecution, or famine,

or nakedness, or peril, or the sword?”

“No, in all these things we conquer overwhelmingly

through him who loved us.”

“The hand of the Lord feeds us; he answers all our needs.”

“When Jesus heard of the death of John the Baptist,

he withdrew in a boat to a deserted place by himself.

The crowds heard of this and followed him on foot from their towns.

When he disembarked and saw the vast crowd,

his heart was moved with pity for them, and he cured their sick.”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

When we suffer with psychological issues like anguish and distress, God is ready to help us conquer them overwhelmingly.

We’re always stuck in this place of tension where we have one foot in the spiritual reality of God and the other foot stuck in our secular world where we’re often disappointed in the people and relationships around us.

One main psychological issue in attachment theory is feeling safe and secure. When we lack this in a part of our human lives, we face a psychological catch-22. If we’ve experienced a lack of safety or security in our childhood, we assume safety and security will not be in future relationships. Therefore, we also don’t seek it.

It’s hard to consciously ask God for safety and security when we unconsciously don’t believe it’s there.

God gives special graces to those who have suffered from abandonment, abuse or death of a father figure. Often, there’s both a spiritual and natural hunger for God the Father who draws us into an even more intimate relationship with Him.

When the crowds seek Jesus while He’s grieving in this week’s Gospel, He helps them. We are not an inconvenience to God. When we turn to Him, He is waiting for us.

Action Item

This week, work on creating an affect or emotional bridge. Consider sometime in your past when you’ve lacked safety and security, perhaps when you got separated from a parent in a store or were frightened by something. Take that to prayer, and walk through that experience with God, Jesus, Mary or one of the saints by your side. Engage God in a conversation about the experience, ask questions, share how you’re feeling, and allow Him to help you heal through that memory. The exercise combines prayer with working through attachment aspects of safety and security.

Next Episode

Four Essentials For God To Grant Your Heart’s Desire - 20th Sun of Ord Time - Episode 39

Overall Takeaway

Learn the four essential things that are needed to allow God to grant our hearts’ desire. We also discuss the common psychological impediments to each of these things in petitionary prayer.

Key Verses in Sunday Readings

“The foreigners who join themselves to the LORD,

ministering to him,

loving the name of the LORD,

and becoming his servants—

all who keep the sabbath free from profanation

and hold to my covenant,

them I will bring to my holy mountain

and make joyful in my house of prayer.”

“For God delivered all to disobedience,

that he might have mercy upon all.”

“At that time, Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon.

And behold, a Canaanite woman of that district came and called out,

‘Have pity on me, Lord, Son of David!

My daughter is tormented by a demon.’

But Jesus did not say a word in answer to her.

Jesus’ disciples came and asked him,

‘Send her away, for she keeps calling out after us.’”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

Sometimes we tend to look down on petitionary prayer or see it as only being acceptable if the petition is requested for someone else. In this week’s Gospel, the Canaanite woman begs for Our Lord’s help. Despite the fact that Jesus seems to dismiss her at first, she perseveres.

When God says what seems like “no”, it should increase our desire to ask again to grant our prayers, according to His will. We need to be humble and enlightened by faith and trust that He wants to give us what is the very best for us.

Here are the four essentials things we need to have and do to allow God to answer our prayers:

Have a Worthy Request. Be sure that you come to Christ with a pure intention in your petitionary prayer. Sometimes, we may feel that we are certain something is good for us but may not see all the details. Be sure to add to your prayer a request that God’s will be done in His answer.
Confidence in Christ. Most of us have faulty God images that are based on our worldly relationships. It’s easy to lose confidence in Christ when people have disappointed us. Instead, we need to learn to see God for who He really is and have the utmost confidence and trust in Him.
Stay Engaged. Just like the Canaanite woman, we need to be persistent in our request. Be humble and patient. Many of us may have a fear of rejection, which can lead us to give up on God or on working on our relationship with Him. Instead, we have to work to stay engaged, struggling and wrestling with God through our prayer request.
Humility. Sometimes, making a petitionary request can activate shame, which can close us off to further engagement with Christ. The Canaanite woman is not full of pride. She accepts being compared to a dog and continues to make her request for the healing of her child. She is transparent and vulnerable to not only Christ, but to the disciplines and others in that public setting.

Action Item

Consider the four essential things and think about where you might have psychological impediments to petitionary prayer. Then bring those things to Our Lord in prayer and ask Him to help you overcome them so you can grow in relationship with Him.