Aunty Anxiety | Casual Conversations Around Anxiety, Insecurity, & Self-Awareness

Jamal reflects on the system he built by accident to help make his days better and less anxious. How it's not really ambition. But more because life sucks otherwise. And it's pretty much the only option.

Tags for this episode, something like: anxiety, stress, nine to five, ambition, anxious, personal development, self-help, work

This episode Jamal talks about his experience with ADD. He got diagnosed a couple of years ago and catches his Aunty up to speed on everything. They discuss why he got checked out in the first place, his experience using the associated ADD drugs like Adderall, Vyvanse, and Ritalin, and a bunch of non-drug strategies around how to deal with it. The 'Driven to Distraction' book is referenced several times throughout and can be found here: https://www.amazon.com/Driven-Distraction-Revised-Recognizing-Attention/dp/0307743152 The other ADD resource mentioned is Chadd.org!

Episode transcript:

KD: Hey JB! How are you doing?

JB: Fantastic. How are you?

KD: I’m really well, thanks. I wanna ask you today about your ADD diagnosis. I know you got in the last couple of years, but I never really heard the story behind it. I’m curious as to how you got diagnosed and what kind of symptoms you had or what difficulties caused you to even go and search it out.

JB: I’m not sure where to start. This happened recently. I saw a therapist, a psychologist and she very quickly diagnosed me with ADD.

KD: What kind of symptoms of ADD did you have?

JB: I started noticing it at work. I would always make a to-do list for work, but I would have such a tough time looking at the items on the list by themselves. I would always look at the list as a whole. Trying to focus on separate tasks from that list would always stress me out and give me anxiety. Those tasks were easy, too, nothing complicated. It just seemed a little bit harder than it should be and it took a toll on my productivity. It stemmed from that.

KD: To rephrase that, you felt anxious because it seemed like a lot to do and you couldn’t focus on one thing at a time or decide where to start?

JB: Exactly! Also, I was drinking coffee every morning back then. I have now realized it doesn't help me at all, it just makes things worse.

KD: So is there anything else that you had noticed?

JB: Yeah, I would stop paying attention in conversations if I wasn’t interested and my mind would float elsewhere. Naturally, this lead to uncomfortable situations, especially on customer calls or in meetings at work where I would just totally tune out. It would be almost impossible for me to participate. It got to a point where I would have to go to a really quiet place and close my eyes. That's how I would take calls, because if my eyes were open and I would see anything, I would start thinking about it, no matter how mundane those things might have been.

KD: And this is out of your control? For instance you were set on paying attention at the meeting, but because it didn't capture your attention, everything else in the room did.

JB: Absolutely. That’s why I dropped out of college. I remember distinctly there was interesting content but sometimes the teacher was so monotone that I would have to prepare myself to be focused. I would usually get caught up in reminding myself to pay attention only to realize I was not paying attention at all.

KD: What I think is important to underline is that it’s not regular boredom, but really an inability to bring the focus back. I think you told me that when we talk you close your eyes? Is that the same thing?

JB: I do that sometimes if I need to, but it’s easier when we talk, because I am engaged and interested in that conversation. The other day we were talking and I saw my jeans on my bed and thought "Oh crap! I need to get new jeans" and I sort of drifted.

KD: And before you know it you are somewhere else, I get it.

JB: And my mom and sister would criticize me because I would often ask a question about dinner plans or plans for the weekend, and then I stop listening halfway through. I think you can attest to this as well.

KD: Sure I can. I remember when you came for a visit when you were teenager and you were a super nice guy. I didn't know you that well, but you were a lot of fun to be around. You asked me some questions at dinner and after I was almost done responding, you went "Oh! Sorry, no, I didn’t get any of that". So I started again, but you were like "Yeah, no, still nothing". It made me giggle at that time but I didn't realize that's what it was.

JB: It’s easy to poke fun at yourself in those circumstances, but there are situations where you’re actually trying to be productive. It’s frustrating not to be able to make an impact in school or at work.

Two or three years ago I went home for Christmas and my mom mentioned that her friend’s son and my cousin, both recently got diagnosed with ADD. She suggested I go see somebody because their symptoms sounded similar to stuff I usually do. I loved hearing that, because I had always thought there was an issue surrounding that diagnosis. If you say “I have ADD” to s...

Stemming from the Jim & Andy Netflix Special, Jamal and Aunty K talk about Jim Carrey's "free from concern" comment and how it applies to everyday life. Jamal is very intrigued by Jim Carrey's abstract ways, Aunty K not so much. Hilariousness ensues.

Jamal and Aunty K have a quick conversation around ego. They discuss their own experiences with ego and how it can affect their day-to-day and chat about some of the ways they work around it. They also touch on the relationship between ego and self-esteem. What are your thoughts on ego? Let us know at auntyanxiety.com.

A conversation about selfishness and how everybody is inherently selfish. There are plenty of times where being selfish is actually beneficial to you and the people around you. Both Jamal and Aunty K share examples from their lives and dissect the negatives stigmas around the word/meaning.