At a Total Loss

Bri's daughter Caroline was diagnosed with a rare form of CHD called Ebstein’s Anomaly. Living in Sacramento, her and her husband moved to Stanford to ensure she received the best possible care. After Caroline was born, she spent 27 days fighting for her life until ultimately passing away peacefully in her mother's arms. Among her diagnoses it was also found that she had Pallister-Killian Syndrome (PKS) after she was born.

Bri talks about this journey. From finding out about her daughter's rare disorder, to how to proceed, to giving birth to her daughter alive, to then deciding to do surgeries and the days she lived in the NICU. Bri walked away with zero regrets, something a lot of loss momma's wish they could do.

Our hope is that this story finds someone who needs to hear it. Bri would love to connect with anyone who can resonate with Caroline's story or needs guidance navigating their own. But no matter what your experiences are, it helps to hear about how to cope, how to hold onto hope, and how you are anything but alone.

Information on Ebstein's Anomaly: HERE

To connect with Bri, find her on Instagram at @brihansen

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NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own. I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions! For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops! Support the podcast and shop the store! At a Total Loss Shop Instagram @thekatherinelazar Youtube: @thekatherinelazar Email: [email protected] Website: www.katherinelazar.com Some helpful resources: https://countthekicks.org/ https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/ https://www.pushpregnancy.org/ https://www.tommys.org/ Local to Atlanta: https://www.northsidepnl.com/

Loss of relationships is a HUGE topic after baby death. In this episode, I break down the 4 categories of family & friend relationship loss that I see and hear about all the time.

1) People who choose to exit your life

2) Toxic people who you choose to separate from

3) Good intentioned people who just don't see your loss the same

4) Awesome people whose stage of life is too hard to be around.

I break each of these down and also dig into the fact that we have to take into accountability our own behaviors. It's a sticky situation and one that no one tells us how to navigate. i hope to shine light on this, help you feel less alone, and to potentially guide you in a way that helps you navigate it all.

Watch it on my At a Total Loss YouTube Channel!

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NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own. I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store! At a Total Loss Shop

Instagram @thekatherinelazar

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

https://countthekicks.org/

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta:

https://www.northsidepnl.com/

I'm tackling the topic of having to make decisions after loss. While some don't think this is an issue, Loss Moms find it to be a massive one. Especially when it comes to PAL, babies, loved ones, & anything having to do with choices.

\Loss changes us radically. So much so that everything becomes a matter of life & death even if it's a casual situation. The weight of having to make choices is almost paralyzing sometimes. Here I dive into it and shed some light on how I feel about it and what others I've spoke to feel as well.

Hope it helps!

To watch on YouTube: At a Total Loss YouTube Channel

*************************************

NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own. I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store! At a Total Loss Shop

Instagram @thekatherinelazar

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

Some helpful resources:

https://countthekicks.org/

https://www.measuretheplacenta.org/

https://www.pushpregnancy.org/

https://www.tommys.org/

Local to Atlanta: https://www.northsidepnl.com/

Sharon's life changed forever with the tragic death of Matthew, her only child, when he was just 17 years old. She felt she had no purpose and became angry and lost. She then consulted with many mediums and received validating messages, proving that Matthew was still “alive” and was helping from the other side. Sharon realized that we all have the natural ability to communicate with our loved ones in spirit and that she too could become a medium. This was her destiny, and a way to make some sense out of her tragedy by helping others.

This episode is Sharon's perspective on life after death and how our loved ones are still with us. Many Loss Mommas seek out the guidance of psychic mediums. So if you have ever been curious, here is a glimpse of what to expect if you work with one like Sharon.

To watch this episode, head to YouTube: At A Total Loss YouTube Channel

If you'd like to contact her:

Email: [email protected]

Website: https://sharonmcgregor.ca/

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NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own. I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!

Support the podcast and shop the store! At a Total Loss Shop

Instagram @thekatherinelazar

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com

HEADS UP: This episode speaks about having a living baby after loss. Sarah from episode 24 is back to chat with me about our experiences in this phase of loss life with a 4 month and 6 month old. This is uncharted territory for both of us and we have mutually felt that there is not much being said in the loss community about how challenging it is to have a living baby after loss. We want to tell you about what we've learned. While mine and Sarah's losses are very different, we share the same feelings about the trauma, joy, grief, challenges, and pain that occur when having a living baby after your first baby dies.

We navigated loss life after Brody and Nathanial died. Now we are navigating parenting their little siblings, Wolfy and Thomas.

This is NOT to scare or treat anyone. This is NOT complaining. We are also not speaking for everyone. This is us talking about our experiences in hopes we can help other mommas who are feeling the same way. Just shedding light on the normalcies having a living baby after loss include.

What we discuss:

• The less than ideal way the baby after loss arrives
• It's not anything like we imagined
• We prepped for PAL but not for when the baby is here.
• We have the same experiences as other living baby parents do except ours has a layer of trauma
• Early induction after loss
• Relationships with people who dropped off when our baby died but came back when we had a living one.
• Breastfeeding, pumping, feeding, formula, pain, etc
• Terror over joy
• Guilt for not hyper-focusing on our baby that died.
• The definition of a "good mother"
• Out partners and what they are experiencing
• Finding space to talk about our baby that died.
• Parenting a dead child while raising a living one
• We cover a lot of things...

Find Amy at @whenmybabydied and @totallythomaswilder

Support the podcast and shop the store! At A Total Loss Shop

*************************************

I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own. I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. This is my real experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!

For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another video drops!

Instagram @thekatherinelazar

Youtube: @thekatherinelazar

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.katherinelazar.com