Parenting Your Newborn After Loss
Explicit content warning
10/12/23 • 68 min
HEADS UP: This episode speaks about having a living baby after loss. Sarah from episode 24 is back to chat with me about our experiences in this phase of loss life with a 4 month and 6 month old. This is uncharted territory for both of us and we have mutually felt that there is not much being said in the loss community about how challenging it is to have a living baby after loss. We want to tell you about what we've learned. While mine and Sarah's losses are very different, we share the same feelings about the trauma, joy, grief, challenges, and pain that occur when having a living baby after your first baby dies.
We navigated loss life after Brody and Nathanial died. Now we are navigating parenting their little siblings, Wolfy and Thomas.
This is NOT to scare or treat anyone. This is NOT complaining. We are also not speaking for everyone. This is us talking about our experiences in hopes we can help other mommas who are feeling the same way. Just shedding light on the normalcies having a living baby after loss include.
What we discuss:
- The less than ideal way the baby after loss arrives
- It's not anything like we imagined
- We prepped for PAL but not for when the baby is here.
- We have the same experiences as other living baby parents do except ours has a layer of trauma
- Early induction after loss
- Relationships with people who dropped off when our baby died but came back when we had a living one.
- Breastfeeding, pumping, feeding, formula, pain, etc
- Terror over joy
- Guilt for not hyper-focusing on our baby that died.
- The definition of a "good mother"
- Out partners and what they are experiencing
- Finding space to talk about our baby that died.
- Parenting a dead child while raising a living one
- We cover a lot of things...
Find Amy at @whenmybabydied and @totallythomaswilder
Support the podcast and shop the store! At A Total Loss Shop
*************************************
I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own. I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. This is my real experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!
For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another video drops!
Instagram @thekatherinelazar
Youtube: @thekatherinelazar
Email: [email protected]
Website: www.katherinelazar.com
HEADS UP: This episode speaks about having a living baby after loss. Sarah from episode 24 is back to chat with me about our experiences in this phase of loss life with a 4 month and 6 month old. This is uncharted territory for both of us and we have mutually felt that there is not much being said in the loss community about how challenging it is to have a living baby after loss. We want to tell you about what we've learned. While mine and Sarah's losses are very different, we share the same feelings about the trauma, joy, grief, challenges, and pain that occur when having a living baby after your first baby dies.
We navigated loss life after Brody and Nathanial died. Now we are navigating parenting their little siblings, Wolfy and Thomas.
This is NOT to scare or treat anyone. This is NOT complaining. We are also not speaking for everyone. This is us talking about our experiences in hopes we can help other mommas who are feeling the same way. Just shedding light on the normalcies having a living baby after loss include.
What we discuss:
- The less than ideal way the baby after loss arrives
- It's not anything like we imagined
- We prepped for PAL but not for when the baby is here.
- We have the same experiences as other living baby parents do except ours has a layer of trauma
- Early induction after loss
- Relationships with people who dropped off when our baby died but came back when we had a living one.
- Breastfeeding, pumping, feeding, formula, pain, etc
- Terror over joy
- Guilt for not hyper-focusing on our baby that died.
- The definition of a "good mother"
- Out partners and what they are experiencing
- Finding space to talk about our baby that died.
- Parenting a dead child while raising a living one
- We cover a lot of things...
Find Amy at @whenmybabydied and @totallythomaswilder
Support the podcast and shop the store! At A Total Loss Shop
*************************************
I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own. I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. This is my real experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!
For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another video drops!
Instagram @thekatherinelazar
Youtube: @thekatherinelazar
Email: [email protected]
Website: www.katherinelazar.com
Previous Episode
Stillbirth Prevention & Advocacy
Amanda from Episode 12 is back! She talks about her recent efforts in DC to create awareness around stillbirth prevention and making moves to stop it. With the organization, Measure the Placenta, she hopes to help make some change in our prenatal healthcare in the US. She is a wealth of knowledge on this subject and you will learn so much listening to her. This is for anyone that needs light shed on this subject to help others understand what stillbirth actually is and how we can try to stop it from happening in the future...
Here are some great links that we discussed:
Find Amanda's post about DC here! @orangeafmama
Info on the Maternal and Child Health Stillbirth Prevention Act
Info on Measure the Placenta: @measuretheplacenta
This is a petition to let your members of Congress know why their continued support for both the Stillbirth Health Improvement and Education for Autumn Act (H.R. 5012/S. 2647) and the Maternal and Child Health Stillbirth Prevention Act (H.R. 4581/S. 2231) is crucial to each bills success AND to urge those, who have not supported them in the past, to do so. Link Here: PETITION
Next Episode
Crystal-Gayle + Damani
Crystal-Gayle tells her story from where she lives, Jamaica, and the many efforts she has put in to get change to happen there. Her precious son, Damani, was born prematurely and died just a few short days after his birth. During her time in the hospital, Crystal-Gayle noticed just how horrible the bereavement standards were and how uneducated the staff was on how to treat her. She dives into what she is trying to get done in her country and how she needs help to do so. She is a one woman voice helping so many but needs help from others to amplify her efforts. She is a wonderful mother to her son Damani and you can hear her unending love for him when she tells his story.
To connect with her, find her on Instagram at @4damani
*************************************
I am not a doctor or a therapist. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own. I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. This is my real experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!
For more REAL TALK about baby loss and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another video drops!
Instagram @thekatherinelazar
Youtube: @thekatherinelazar
Email: [email protected]
Website: www.katherinelazar.com
Support the Podcast and shop the merch here: Hoodie Shop
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