"Am I avoiding my feelings?"

12/12/24 • 40 min

This week we talk about sitting with our feelings and dealing with anxious thoughts, why self-harm is often talked about only in relation to teens, and why we can suddenly have suicidal thoughts. Then we get into whether or not we can do inner child work by ourselves, how to get ourselves to realize things aren’t as bad as they seem, and if therapy can be harmful. Ask Kati Anything ep.246 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Audience questions: 1. I have learned how to feel my feelings and emotions in therapy, and I also realized that before that I used to not allow myself to really feel my feelings. I have bad anxiety and a lot of times my thoughts spiral out of control and then I end up worrying about all kinds of things and feel so much more anxious. I have realized if I don’t give in to all my thoughts, I feel a lot less anxious but is this avoiding feeling my feelings? Shouldn’t I be able to sit with my fears and uncomfortable feelings without pushing them away or avoiding to think about them? 2. Why is self injury usually talked about in relation to teens? I feel like I rarely hear it talked about as a coping mechanism for adults. Is it something that is more concerning if an adult does it? I am 37 years old and I have cptsd, adhd, anxiety and depression and have been in therapy for 5 years. I have been good at refraining from self injury but when things get too overwhelming it still is my first go to thought and unfortunately sometimes the way I cope (for example the outcome of the US election). My therapist is aware but I have a lot of shame because it feels “childish”. What are your thoughts? 3. So a few weeks ago I got this sudden urge to write a goodbye letter. I’ve dealt with suicidal thoughts on and off, but that idea has never really come up until now. Would you know why this suddenly happened? Should I be concerned? What should I do? I haven’t written anything down on paper yet, but a draft is being formulated in my head and the urge is still present. 4. How can I do inner child work by myself (therapy ended) when I dissociate 24/7? I remember you said you can’t process trauma when you are dissociating. When I was in therapy I was also dissociating in basically every session. When I try to do inner child work or journal for example, I sometimes feel it’s not so helpful because I feel so disconnected from it and I am not actually feeling what I am writing. 5. What are effective methods of realizing things aren’t as bad as they seem? I would also like to see a video about lost time that comes with depression and other disorders, and how to deal with and prevent losing so much time. 6. Can therapy be “harmful“? I sometimes feel like therapy makes my thoughts spiral more. I am very self aware and analyze everything about my thoughts and behaviors constantly, and therapy has made this so much worse. I love therapy and learning more about myself and analyzing where everything came from etc. but I also feel like I am very obsessive with it and it occupies my mind 24/7 and as a result I feel worse. I also feel like I consume too much psychological content but I find it so interesting. PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton

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Previous Episode

Why do I feel like I need a diagnosis?

This week we are talking all about getting a diagnosis. Why we might want one, why we might not agree when we finally get one, and my thoughts on self-diagnosis. We will talk about assessments and what it means to get a proper diagnosis. Finally, we will dig into labels as a whole and whether or not they can be stigmatizing.

Ask Kati Anything ep. 245 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Audience questions:

1. Why do I feel the need to diagnose myself or “pathologize” myself with a name for a mental illness/disorder? If I discover a diagnosis I could potentially have, I do sooo much research on it (almost to the point of it being obsessive because it’s all I can think about). I really want to have the diagnosis, but why? Why do I have to put a name to it? I feel like I need to be “sick” in order to be seen and for my experience to be valid. My mom (who is a therapist) doesn’t like that I do this because she says labels don’t help me move forward and it becomes my whole identity. And she says that... 00:37

2. What are the pros and cons of having a label or diagnosis for a mental illness? I know it can be validating but can it ever be detrimental? Like for example, even though I KNOW I struggle with social anxiety, I really want to be professionally diagnosed with social anxiety disorder. To me it feels like a way to prove my suffering to the world but I also am worried that I will... 10:51

3. I sincerely wanted to know Kati, do labels not cripple people further? Where it almost becomes an excuse for people to act in certain ways with little accountability. So instead it should be more of behavioral patterns we acknowledge with the intent of trying to assist people in a more CBT approach? I hope I’m making sense, thank you!! 18:30

4. Hi Kati, I've been wondering for a long time how to get diagnoses for a bunch of stuff since my family is quite opposed to the idea of me being autistic, or having ADHD, and other stuff they don't even know about like a dissociative disorder, OCD, and a possible eating disorder. Do I just have to wait until I become an adult if I can't get support in my home? Thanks for the podcast, it's so informative and, in my opinion, enjoyable! 22:28

5. Hey Kati! Is it possible to be DID/osdd without knowing, even if you don't remember any significant trauma? Thanks! 26:57

6. Hi Kati, I’m someone who has had undiagnosed ASD until this year. I’m having trouble accepting this new identity. How can people learn to accept this? What do people do with it? 31:17 MAIN YOUTUBE CHANNEL www.youtube.com/Katimorton PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton

#podcast #psychology #katimorton

Next Episode

"How can I get unstuck in life?"

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton talks about why we can sometimes think we are in love with our therapist, ways we can get unstuck in life, and what to do with our passive suicidal thoughts. She also talks about feeling safe after surviving a trauma, and how to deal with transference and attachment in therapy.

Ask Kati Anything ep. 247 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Audience questions: 1. Kati I am in love with my therapist. I know you will probably say that transference is happening but I feel so madly in love with her. Everything about her is perfect and she’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. I feel like no one I’ll meet will ever even come close to how amazing she is and how much I feel for her. How do I stop having romantic feelings for my therapist? 00:00:32

2. Could you please talk about how one can get unstuck in life? I feel like I am reliving the same day over and over again, and not growing/evolving anymore. I’m so used to just watching life on the sidelines, like a movie, as opposed to actively participating in it. For reference, I do suffer from depression and I’m on medication for it. Thank you so much for everything that you do! 00:09:28

3. Hi, could you talk a bit more about passive suicidal thoughts. I almost got run over by a truck when crossing the street (he stopped in time at the end). I basically didn’t care, no shock, nothing. I just thought „ first of all, embarrassing, second of all this death would have been very welcome, sadly he stopped in time“. I went about my day as usual thinking about how chill I reacted not even caring if I would have died or not. I do have a past when it comes to suicidal thoughts and depression. 00:16:06

4. What does it mean to 'feel safe'? I have CPTSD and am hypervigilant. I get relaxation induced anxiety. I have tried following steps for reducing this but they often ask you to 'visualise somewhere you feel safe' or 'someone you feel safe with'. What does 'feel safe' mean? Is it a feeling in the body, or is it just the absence of overt fear? Or is it just an expression for some concept, like saying something is an 'act of god'? I expect my issue has the same root cause as my inability to feel happy / positive emotions. 00:20:29

5. What happens if transference and extreme attachment is not worked through in therapy and then therapy ends? This has happened for me and I am so overwhelmed by my emotions 24/7. I know how to work on attachment stuff by myself now from your videos but I just don’t know how to get closure if that makes sense. I miss her so much and it takes everything in me not to text her. Therapy ended a few months ago and I still miss her like crazy and I am so sad about it. Will that ever get better? Also can you feel “worse” in a way if you don’t work through issues (e.g transference) that came up in therapy? 00:24:44

6. In your opinion is this important to get a proper diagnosis? I was in therapy but I’ve never received a proper diagnosis. In my country only psychiatrists are allowed to diagnose you. I think I have quiet BPD among other mental illnesses and... 00:32:12

#podcast #psychology #katimorton PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY

ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) Youtube https://www.youtube.com/katimorton

X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton