32 | The Right Time Is Not Coming
04/24/24 • 28 min
Text Monique directly! Share thoughts, feels or feedback!
Are you waiting for the perfect moment to make a change?
In this episode, I am shattering the illusion of the "magical right time" that so many of us are waiting for. The truth is, that moment when you feel entirely ready, when everything is in place, and when you've done enough—it's a myth. It's never coming. The right time is now.
Join me as I dive into the language of limitation and how phrases like "I just need to..." can trap us in a cycle of perpetual preparation, holding us back from stepping boldly into the life we're meant to live, without compromise. I also challenge the narrative that familiarity equals safety and explore the power of tapping into the unbridled strength of our younger selves to fuel our courage for change.
Press play and let's explore what it means to live freely and authentically, and how to back it into a plan that propels us forward.
GEMS DROPPED
“This magical right time, the time when you feel ready, when things are in place, when you have done enough, when you have prepared enough, and you know that this is up for you, that this is a challenge for you right now... The whole thing is a trick.”
“When you keep saying stuff like, well, I just have to think about, or I just have to decide, or I've got to give some more thought to ... I need to do some preparation... I just. I just. I just. I just. y'all. This is all danger language. Danger, danger, danger, danger, language. We start backing ourselves into deep limitation because we are fearful of giving ourselves permission to be specific about what it is that we truly want.”
“I recognize that in order for this next part of me, this next phase to come to fruition, for that to happen, I'm gonna have to relinquish the reins. I'm gonna have to let this other part of me, this free and creative and open, this vulnerable part of me, come up to the driver's seat and I might have to get in the back, I might have to get in the trunk at some point. That feels so risky. It feels so, so risky internally.”
“We disconnect from that part of ourselves. We leave those, air quote, ‘childish things’ behind and we get serious about life and we put on new coping skills and different things toughen us up and rough us up, and we forget that that wild and free little version of us, has so much power.”
“I hope that if you are sitting in stagnation and not realizing, I hope that if you are sitting in, ‘I need to wait for the right time’, or ‘I just need to think through. I just need to figure out,’ or ‘I just need to, you know, shore up x, y and z,’ that you bust down those walls and get real with the truth of what's going on here, which is knowing that you don't have to cling to what's familiar and that you're not going to find your freedom. Your salvation will not come from this place. You have everything you need to make the move if you give yourself permission to let that part of you actually dream it up and connect you to the urgency of it all.”
STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to [email protected].
Text Monique directly! Share thoughts, feels or feedback!
Are you waiting for the perfect moment to make a change?
In this episode, I am shattering the illusion of the "magical right time" that so many of us are waiting for. The truth is, that moment when you feel entirely ready, when everything is in place, and when you've done enough—it's a myth. It's never coming. The right time is now.
Join me as I dive into the language of limitation and how phrases like "I just need to..." can trap us in a cycle of perpetual preparation, holding us back from stepping boldly into the life we're meant to live, without compromise. I also challenge the narrative that familiarity equals safety and explore the power of tapping into the unbridled strength of our younger selves to fuel our courage for change.
Press play and let's explore what it means to live freely and authentically, and how to back it into a plan that propels us forward.
GEMS DROPPED
“This magical right time, the time when you feel ready, when things are in place, when you have done enough, when you have prepared enough, and you know that this is up for you, that this is a challenge for you right now... The whole thing is a trick.”
“When you keep saying stuff like, well, I just have to think about, or I just have to decide, or I've got to give some more thought to ... I need to do some preparation... I just. I just. I just. I just. y'all. This is all danger language. Danger, danger, danger, danger, language. We start backing ourselves into deep limitation because we are fearful of giving ourselves permission to be specific about what it is that we truly want.”
“I recognize that in order for this next part of me, this next phase to come to fruition, for that to happen, I'm gonna have to relinquish the reins. I'm gonna have to let this other part of me, this free and creative and open, this vulnerable part of me, come up to the driver's seat and I might have to get in the back, I might have to get in the trunk at some point. That feels so risky. It feels so, so risky internally.”
“We disconnect from that part of ourselves. We leave those, air quote, ‘childish things’ behind and we get serious about life and we put on new coping skills and different things toughen us up and rough us up, and we forget that that wild and free little version of us, has so much power.”
“I hope that if you are sitting in stagnation and not realizing, I hope that if you are sitting in, ‘I need to wait for the right time’, or ‘I just need to think through. I just need to figure out,’ or ‘I just need to, you know, shore up x, y and z,’ that you bust down those walls and get real with the truth of what's going on here, which is knowing that you don't have to cling to what's familiar and that you're not going to find your freedom. Your salvation will not come from this place. You have everything you need to make the move if you give yourself permission to let that part of you actually dream it up and connect you to the urgency of it all.”
STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to [email protected].
Previous Episode
31 | When Will It Ever Be Enough?
Text Monique directly! Share thoughts, feels or feedback!
In this episode, I'm tackling a question that is rattling around the corridors of the minds of us highest achievers: "When will it ever be enough?" It's a relentless echo that reverberates in the silence left by our latest triumphs, a whisper that lingers even as we scale the peaks of what I’m calling “Money Mountain” with the weight of the world on our shoulders.
For those who've pushed themselves to the brink, who've crafted empires with their bare hands and sheer will, this episode is a soul-stirring examination of the unsustainable pace of success and the personal toll it exacts. We're pulling back the veil on the harsh truths behind burnout, the undercurrents of systemic pressures, and the personalization of collective dysfunctions that lead us to question our worth, our work, and our way forward.
Join me as we explore the deeper questions that should be guiding our pursuit of fulfillment. We'll navigate through the false narratives of entrepreneurship, the courage to be beginners in the public eye, and the vulnerability required to ask for what we truly want. Tune in and transform the way you approach your goals and your life.
MENTIONED
03 | What Are You Playing For? (CEO Series)
GEMS DROPPED
“In this quest to say, ’Am I doing enough? Is it enough? Have I ascertained enough? Have I done enough? Have I created enough?’ We're really searching for, ’Will I ever be enough?’ That's the real question that runs beneath all of this, is, will I ever be enough?”
“We're asking ourselves at the end of the day, why am I not enough? Why am I not rising to the occasion? Why is this wearing me out? Why am I having these emotional reactions and responses? Why am I being a fucking human being? We're punishing ourselves for our basic needs, and it's wrong. It is wrong. It is misguided. It is misdirected. So I want you to turn that energy into some better questions. I think a better question is ’Am I fulfilled, well, and whole?’“
“That moment where the decision is available to you, it can feel like you don't have a choice. And we always have a choice. We always have a choice.”
“At a certain point, money no longer delivers. There's no return on that investment emotionally. Once you get past a certain level it caps out and you're not going to get any more enjoyment, fulfillment, happiness, even delight. All of that just falls flat. And so, well, what are you even playing for? “
“There really is no enoughness that's going to truly satisfy you...the feeling that you're actually seeking to meet, which is fulfillment. If fulfillment is what's lacking, none of this other stuff even matters. And I think that that's what we end up getting ourselves to when we first start asking this question. What's enough? You're enough. What do you want? Who do you want to be? Who you desire to be? Start there.”
STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to [email protected].
Next Episode
33 | Unpacking Trauma And Achievement with Psychologist Andrea Michel
Text Monique directly! Share thoughts, feels or feedback!
In this episode, we explore the intricate web of trauma, perfectionism and high achievement with Andrea Michel.
As a developmental psychologist, trauma-sensitive leadership coach, and former corporate badass, Andrea peels back the layers of what it means to be a high achiever, how our childhood traumas shape our professional lives, and the subtle yet significant distinction between burnout and trauma responses in the workplace. She offers a compassionate lens through which to view our inner perfectionist – not as something to be vanquished, but as a part of ourselves that requires understanding and, if we choose, healing.
Whether you're a leader seeking to create a trauma-sensitive environment or an individual ready to confront the roots of your perfectionism, Andrea's expertise will guide you toward a path of self-awareness and empowerment. Press play to join the conversation.
Some key points discussed in this episode include:
- Understanding decision-making
- High-functioning behavior, overachievement, and childhood trauma
- Parenting and trauma
- Forming relationships based solely on achievement
- Self-awareness and Healing
- Differentiating burnout and trauma response
GEMS DROPPED
“Simply put, trauma is any experience or any event that overwhelms our internal resources. And when we feel out of control of a situation. So in other words, trauma is anything that happens to us where we feel like we have no control over the situation and we're basically stressed out to the max. And so I like to say, when we think about trauma, there is the event, there the experience, and then there is the expectations. So the event is the thing that happens, the experience is how we interpret that thing that happened and then the expectation is how do others around us respond to that situation.” - Andrea Michel
“What I come into contact with, even with some clients in session, sometime we're asking, like, where does that come from? Why is that showing up? Why is that happening? What was that about? But we can't take it much further. And I just feel like sometimes it's just another reminder that you can't really do this alone. You can, many times only get yourself so far, because we can't see outside. We can't see outside of how we see.” - Monique R. Shields
“We have to unburden ourselves of things that we ultimately cannot control and we're not supposed to anyway.” - Monique R. Shields
“If you want to stop repeating the same cycle, you have to heal the trauma.” - Andrea Michel
MENTIONED
EP. 14 Spiritual Knowing and Self-Integrity with Josie Rosario
GUEST LINKS
Learn more about Andrea Michel | Website | The Global Center for Trauma | Private Coaching
STAY IN TOUCH
Come and follow me on Instagram @moniquershields and I would love your feedback so send an email to [email protected].
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