EP 28 Why the Best Time To Learn to Meditate is in the Middle of a Sh*t Storm

04/02/20 • 19 min

Alexa Z Meditates - Your Life, But Better

In this episode, I am going to explain why right now is the perfect time to learn to meditate, not when life is great, peaceful, and fairy lights are glowing around your lawn. If you are not sleeping, feeling stressed, totally unfocused, and perhaps a bit bitter, this is the podcast for you!

Hey There, Alexa Z here, I told my husband I am committed to never missing a podcast for at least 24 months, and I made it to week 27 and then fell off. It wasn't that I didn't have an episode to launch; it was that the topic no longer fit in this midst of this COVID-19 pandemic. Also, I own a small business, shout out to all small business owners. In 17 years, I never could have guessed that I would be applying for grants and praying to make it through along with my 20 employees. My thoughts are with all of you. I have spent two days reading through relief acts, but as soon as you finish one, the next one comes out, and sometimes they seem to contradict each other. What comes first, the chicken or the egg.

Now let's say you are not a small business owner, and perhaps you are laid off, and you're wondering what your company is doing about all of this? Independent worker, gig worker, sole proprietor, the list goes on. Now maybe you get to have your kids home 24/7 and don't want to blurt out "oh my god, am I maneuvering through online/home education properly? Or am I doing a disservice to my child? You didn't sign up for this.

I can't lie, when I see pictures of organized sock drawers, and completed 5000 piece jigsaw puzzles on social media; I want to scream. I think I am down to one pair of clean underwear. I stopped to write this on my way to the washing machine. But I am not mad, maybe a bit jealous. ACTUALLY, no, I am not. I like who I am and how I roll, and I think it is fantastic to take time; time is very precious, and it is a limited commodity. It is quite surprising that we are being given time and we get to chose what to do with it.

Time is limited and Attention is limited.

There are 24 hours in a day; you can not add another one. Where you put your attention is your choice. This podcast is about looking back over the past few weeks, looking forward a few weeks, and at this moment right now, what we call the present moment, deciding, is there any other way I would like to approach my life? Another puzzle, a basement organization, maybe, but how do you feel when you stop and reflect for a moment. What if all those tasks were done not to be distracted from the chaos but to be present amongst it all.

When we are fully present, then we are entirely paying attention, that other limited commodity.

My husband has been busy with projects and simultaneously listening to an online music theory class. Multi-tasking doesn't work except in his case, it is a rote task (say throwing out old papers) and listening to the course. Nice! He is very compassionate about his guitars, and I am happy to see him delve into learning. But he had seven days off and now is working 12 hours a day, and like anyone, I heard him say, where did those days go?

What are you learning? Many people appear to be doing remarkable things like online exercise and yoga classes, learning a new language, learning to cook fresh meals. It sounds like a lot of good stress relieving stuff going on, but in the midst of it all, I am still getting lots of calls. I AM SO STRESSED OUT, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, ALL I AM DOING IS CLEANING, I AM BORED AND SCARED, I HATE MY JOB, etc. When is your next free meditation? But guess what, those are the people that don't show up for the meditation.

Here is what I see happening. Avoidance, procrastination, and nonsensical reasoning. I need to learn to meditate, but I can't now I am too stressed out. Just sitting still in silence makes me crazy. I am here to tell you that this is the perfect time to learn to meditate.

Is it hard to meditate in times of high stress? Of course, but anything worth having can be a little tough at first. But with meditation, you can start right now, and the training will be so powerful. Not only can you immediately watch yourself change in a stressful environment, but you can take that skill, practice, one maybe two times a day, and when this is all over, you will have a tool that you can use for life. There is no way in hell that when this is all done, you will not need meditation. You needed it yesterday, and today and tomorrow and a year from now.

I love the fact that I am buried in stress and relief acts. Do I like stress? No, what I love is the fact that my endurance is endless. I may hit a wall, but I see the wall and walk away before it crushes me. I still get a decent night's sleep, and I wake up with a fresh attitude, and I get right back in the ring. Meditation has made me not only healthier but courageous. If I approach this virus bitterly and fulls of sarcasm, then I might as well roll over and pee on my...

Time is limited and Attention is limited.

When we are fully present, then we are entirely paying attention, that other limited commodity.

Previous Episode

EP27: March Un-Madness Week 2 - It's 2 am, and Yet Again, I am Wide Awake!

In today's episode, we will explore Mindful Sleep. As we age, our sleep patterns change, and those changes can be downright unpleasant. Even if you're a young buck who sleeps poorly, this episode is for you too! There are a few ways to look at these exhausting annoyances and some mindful methods to improve them. We know meditation can improve sleep, but what happens as we age and how can our meditation practice can help us at 2 am when we were staring at the ceiling trying to solve world peace and figure out if the light really does go out in our refrigerator when we close the door.

Sleep is a critical part of our health. Please don't say, "oh well, I am just getting older. I will just nap more." NO, NO, NO, life is too short to sleep through, and during those waking hours, you want to feel like a spring chicken.

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Hey There, Alexa Z here, and it is week 2 of March Un-Madness! Please remember, as we talk about how fantastic meditation and mindfulness is, if you need help learning and sticking to these practices, I am always here to help. I have a class launching in April. If you are interested, go to www.alexazmeditates.com/help, and I will let you know all about it. Now, let's dig right into the topic of sleep. I will split into three pieces.

What meditation does for sleep.
What happens to our sleep as we age?
What can you do to set yourself up for a better night's rest before, during, and after sleep?

Yes, this means you need to listen until the end to get the tips to use tonight. Sorry, but we must go through one and two to understand three. Don't worry; the podcast is short.

Meditation and Sleep

In episode 6, I talked about all the reasons why sleep is essential and how sleep is the number one way to reduce stress (go ahead back and give it a listen if you missed it). As a quick review, sleep is fantastic, but no one seems to get the right amount and quality of sleep to wash out all the stress, then stress begins to build up. Exercise is fantastic, but it only gets rid of current stress, it tends not to attack all of the past stresses. Meditation, on the other hand, does two amazing things (well many but here are the top ones for today,) it helps get rid of current AND past stress and the practice builds your sleep muscles.

In the perfect world, we would glide through non REM, and REM brain wave sleep like this: Beta – awake and aware, Alpha – gentle bridge to sleep, Theta going deeper into dreamy land and Delta the most restorative waves of all. We need that gentle cycle about every 90 minutes, but that isn't always the case, hence why sometimes you sleep eight hours and wake up still tired!

The Alpha waves are very low in today's crazy world, and meditation helps to strengthen them!

Meditation mimics good sleep. We meditate our way through Beta, Alpha, and Theta, and if that isn't cool enough, try Yoga Nidra and get down into those Delta waves (listen to episode 8 on Nidra or go to my website and try the free one on the home page.)

What Happens as We Age?

Ok, I am the queen of simple, so let's see if I can stay the queen. What most of us find is that as we get older:

Sleep patterns change.
It is harder to fall asleep.
You have to pee more.
Your joints hurt.
Caffeine can have more of an effect on you.
Sleep Apnea
Restless Leg Syndrome
Reflux
And other body issues or illnesses.
You wake up more often because you spend less time in a deep sleep.
Your neurological receptors begin to weaken
These receptors connect with your sleep chemicals, making it harder for your brain to figure out when you are tired and when you are supposed to be awake.

Now at this point, you are probably getting depressed and tired and want to take a nap. But wait, even naps don't feel as good anymore. Plus, the more you nap, the harder it is to get to sleep at night. It becomes a vicious circle.

Another reminder: Meditation helps your health, your brain waves, your pain tolerance, your immune system, your circadian rhythms, etc.

Using Mindfulness to Get You to Sleep

(or perhaps back to sleep!)

As you continue your Meditation practice and keep building those strong brain muscles, shifting around grey and white matter in your brain, lowering your stress levels, etc. What kind of mindfulness can you practice starting tonight at two or three am?

First, start with a better pre-sleep routine. From figuring out your natural sleep cycle to uncluttering your bedroom, to changing up your activities and screen time. You can get a list from my sleep episode freebie at www.alexazmeditates.com/sleep which also includes a meditation to help you get to sleep
Before bed, take a m...

Next Episode

EP29 Learn to Mindfully Say No and Turn FOMO into JOMO

We live in a society where social media is steering our subconscious. Driving us towards what we think we should be doing, and often that has nothing to do with what we want to be doing. Everyone on Instagram is playing at the beach because the thermometer has barely hit 65 (although it's only the beginning of March, and it should be snowing. You think, oh my god, I better get outside and enjoy this magnificent weather because, well, it may never come again. But in reality, you had a hectic week, you are exhausted, and you were looking forward to a fireplace and a book. So, turn up the air-conditioning, light a fire and get your darn book. Last I checked, you are in charge of your life.

In this episode, I am going to shed some light on the art and glory of saying no. Why does this have anything to do with meditation, you ask? Well, thanks for asking because it has heaps to do with it. And the answer comes from deep inside the most incredible work of art, which is you. However, this beautiful place seems to get often smothered underneath perhaps: lack of confidence, a desire to please, a fear of being judged, a need to be appreciated, a "Fear of Missing Out" (FOMO).

By the end of this brief episode, you are going to want to run out the door and say no to everything that does not fit the blueprint of the life you want to create. And this my friend creates, JOMO. The "Joy of Missing Out."

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Hey there, Alexa Z here, and thank you for saying yes to listening to this podcast when you easily could have said no. And since it was easy, I ask that that you quickly hit subscribe to this to keep me going. Then at that time, a podcast drops; you will know about it and can easily say yes or no to listening! It's all up to you. No guilt!

How many times have you said yes to something and then lamented over why you said yes? So much so that you find yourself making up lies to get out of whatever you answered yes to and then living with the guilt of the lie. And 99% of the time, no one would care if you said no.

Just as fears are something we learn, saying yes to everything can become a learned habit. We are programmed starting from when we are very young that NO is an inappropriate or rude answer. Eat your broccoli, NO, share your toys, NO. It just isn't the right answer. But saying yes to things when you wanted to say no can cause so much angst. Why bother?

Think of a time you said yes instead of no and asked yourself why? Then ask it a few more times.

For example, my friends want to go to a concert in NYC, and I said yes, but I wish I said no.

Why? Because I don't have enough money.
- But you really don't want them to know that.
Why? Because I don't make as much money as they do.
- I don't want to be judged regarding my career choice.
Why? Because I love my career, but they don't understand?
Why? Because I feel like they will judge me.
Why? Because all my life I have been judged, my mother always said I wasn't good enough.

Do you see where I am going with this? There are things deep inside us that keep us from listening to what sometimes can be a straightforward question. My executive coach taught me this "Yum or Yuck?"

Sometimes it is that easy, and here is where meditation can help.

Here is a true story: Wanting to be more vulnerable. Talk about the guy who didn't want to go on the golf trip. Meditation made him feel, clear, confident, and nonreactive, and he said NO and was so happy.

What about people who have restricted diets or maybe are on a diet?

Did you ever hear the comedian John Mulaney do the bit on canceling plans? It goes something like this:

"It's so much easier not to do things than to do things. It's 100% easier not to do things and so much fun not to do things, especially when you were supposed to do them.

In terms of instant relief canceling plans is like heroin - instant joy.

Kids don't like that - they say awwwwww we didn't do anything all day.

Did you ever as an adult what they did over the weekend, and they said they didn't do anything, and their face lights up!"

Although funny, this is pretty spot on. But it's hard. Meditation and mindfulness give us space to build our inner voice, our inner courage because it helps us be more comfortable being ourselves. For example, in a self-inquiry meditation, we ask ourselves a question such as "who am I" and be comfortable just sitting with the question without even answering it." We are building courage through listening to our inner wisdom and intuition.

There is nothing more satisfying then saying exactly what we want to say without question and without worrying about the outcome.

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz