SOS From the SOS Girl: When the Lifeguard Needs Saving

04/22/25 • 22 min

A Millennial's Guide to Healthy Emotional Regulation with Jayna Swan

Vulnerability and leadership often feel at odds with each other. As someone who's built her reputation as "the SOS girl" – the one everyone calls during their darkest moments – I've struggled with a profound question: how do I ask for help when I'm drowning?
This raw, unfiltered exploration takes you through the emotional tug-of-war between maintaining professional credibility and embracing authentic vulnerability. I share a personal story about shifting instantly from seeking support to providing it during a mastermind call, highlighting the strange energy exchange that happens when you're accustomed to being the helper. The experience forced me to confront whether I've been selfish with clients by waiting for them to make decisions when sometimes they simply need direction.
My sensitivity – the quality that sometimes overwhelms me – is precisely what makes me effective at supporting others. Good coaches sit in the mud with clients, and my capacity to feel deeply gives me the empathy to notice subtle shifts in others. This realization has transformed how I view emotional intelligence, not as weakness but as profound strength. Similarly, I've come to appreciate that our greatest lessons come from our losses, not our wins. As my high school dance coach wisely observed – winners don't learn because they don't know why they succeeded, but losers gain clarity about what needs improvement.
Whether you're a coach, leader, parent, or friend, this episode will resonate if you've ever struggled with the balance between helping others and seeking help yourself. What kind of support do you need when you're struggling? How do you maintain authority while showing vulnerability? I'd love to hear your thoughts – reach out on social media @janaswan with your insights on navigating this delicate balance.

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Themes: Emotional Mastery, Mindset, Storytelling, Confidence, Health & Productivity, Creativity, Communication Skills, Business, Movement, Meditation, Mindfulness, Manifestation, Resilience, Letting Go, Surrender, Feminine Energy, Masculine Energy, Love, Personal Growth.

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Previous Episode

Healing Emotional Numbness: How Your Brain Protects You

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Your brain isn't broken—it's protecting you. That emotional numbness you feel? It's actually your mind's sophisticated defense mechanism at work. When we experience trauma, our brains literally split into two separate functioning systems—the logical left hemisphere and the emotional right hemisphere—creating a disconnect that manifests as difficulty feeling emotions deeply.
This neurological adaptation serves a crucial survival purpose. For those who had to show up, break generational patterns, or forge their own path without adequate support, the brain learned to suppress emotional responses to keep you functional. You could make decisions, advance in your career, and navigate life's challenges without being "crippled" by overwhelming feelings. But this protection comes at a significant cost: the inability to feel deeply connected to others or experience the full spectrum of human emotions—both painful and pleasurable.
The journey back to emotional wholeness requires understanding that integration is possible. It's about reconnecting these separate parts of your brain and learning to access both your logical and emotional capacities simultaneously. As one wise perspective puts it, the goal is developing "a soft front and a strong spine"—maintaining the ability to connect heart-to-heart while having the inner strength to carry life's weight. This balance allows you to be driven by emotions while being backed by logic, rather than being blinded by emotions or caged by logic.
The process of reconnecting with your emotions follows six essential steps: uncovering limiting beliefs, building resource anchors for safety, releasing stored emotions, working through forgiveness, reevaluating your values and beliefs, and developing new practices that support emotional awareness. It's not about flipping a switch but rather a gradual evolution—like water coming to a boil.
When you detach from pain, you inadvertently sacrifice life's pleasures too. The true power lies not in shutting down emotions altogether but in mastering them—learning to feel deeply without being controlled by those feelings. This mastery becomes your life's cheat code, allowing you to leverage emotions rather than being limited by them. Ready to take off that armor and experience life in full color?

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