20 THINGS ADOPTION PODCAST with Sherrie Eldridge - One Mom's Story about Adopting Internationally

One Mom's Story about Adopting Internationally

11/05/22 • 22 min

20 THINGS ADOPTION PODCAST with Sherrie Eldridge

Bronwen Smith, a mom who adopted from Korea, shares the real-life struggles and joys of adopting internationally. Learn how she and her husband decided to adopt, how they chose the country to adopt from, what it was like to take off in the plane with the knowledge that their son was leaving his entire home behind, and how they juggle joy and peace on a daily basis.

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The Trauma Wound of Adoptive and Foster Moms

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Not only must adoptive and foster moms understand the depth of their child’s pre-adoption pain, but also their own trauma wound. “What wound?” they may say. “My child is the one with the deep wound, not me. Don’t be ridiculous.”

Adoptive moms may be offended or defensive when told they have a trauma wound. Adoptive mom says—I think many people can experience defensiveness or protectiveness about our woundedness. To be comfortable disclosing ourselves authentically requires safety. Safe people are hard to find. Additionally, we may be conscious of the adoption “label” that can be put on our kids, in that adoption can sometimes erroneously be viewed as the root of the problem, when in reality, it may be something far different. Disclosing our wound requires some level of risk and discernment before taking that risk. Otherwise, there is a chance of being hurt more by insensitive comments, judgment, and/or blame. It’s not easy to navigate the path of transparency, especially if you’re already limping along. Who needs to have their good leg shot out from underneath?”

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The Hot Potato of Adoptee Anger

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Bronwen interviews Sherrie on a rare topic--adoptee anger. They discuss the two kinds of anger and emphasize the fact that anger itself is good--its a God-given emotion that warns us if something is wrong, like the red light on a dashboard.
Anger can become toxic when anger is stuffed and turns into bitterness and hate.
The unintentional adversarial relationship that often occurs between adoptive moms and their children is common, but its a topic that hasn't be addressed by adoption professionals, speakers, and therapists.
Adoptees secretly attribute their lion-like anger to a personal defect, while wounded moms fear their children will never experience their love.
Sherrie shares a time a purging, where she did the hard work of recovery. Signs of healing emerged first in regard to Retha, her mom through adoption.
Listen to the inspiring story of how trash became treasure.