615 Snow Globe

Explicit content warning

01/11/15 • 19 min

After you've tried several different tactics to get people to stop leaving dog crap on your front lawn, it's time to move to Def Con 5. Put in a surveillance camera, record the people leaving crap on the lawn and then edit together a loop tape of the culprits. Play the recording on a big screen TV out your front window and play the tape over and over again until the assailants have to move away from the neighborhood in shame.

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614 Business Plan

If you're going to open a business, it's helpful to have the name of your company clearly spell out to customers exactly what you're selling. After all these years it finally became clear that the spot between the twat and the shitter is called the Twitter. Some people are just the last to know.

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616 Dyke Beautiful

The service seemed great. You got seated faster than expected. The waitress came right to your table to take your order. Your food came up super fast and everything tasted great. The waitress must have been super busy since she was only by the table once to deliver the food. The check comes right away. It might have been some other table's check, but at least it came quickly. You just thought the service was good that night, but it turns out it was all really because you were Dyke Beautiful.