Ep. 57: Tis’ the season for…mixed emotions

Tis’ the season for...mixed emotions

We’re trying to be present, while rushing to buy all the presents.

We’re treasuring moments of togetherness, while wishing for just.one.minute of alone time.

And we’re looking forward to a new year, while reflecting on the regrets of the past.

In today’s episode Ashley Adamson and Chantal Below delve into the pangs of regret and sadness that tend to surface this time of year. Rather than packing them away with the ugly ornaments, Chantal encourages us to hold space for uncomfortable feelings: “We have a tendency to lean into joy and skim over the negative emotions: resentment, regret, sadness, shame, embarrassment. And yet they live in us if we don’t let them live through us.”

Chantal’s superpower lies in her ability to reframe narratives that don’t serve us. In this instance, she encourages us to consider the upside of regret. How might regret be an opportunity for reflection? How might we grant compassion to our former selves, who were often doing the best they could with the decisions they had?

Amidst the holiday hustle and bustle, take 45 minutes for yourself to listen to this inspiring conversation. You won’t regret it.

If you’re interested in delving deeper, here are the awesome resources we mentioned in the episode:

• Brené Brown with Dan Pink on the power of regret
• George Saunders on regretting failures of kindness
• Michael Lewis on knowing his late daughter felt his love (around 01:02:00)
• Michael Lewis’s interview with Ashley’s sister-in-law Diane Adamson

Wishing you a peaceful, bustling, joyful, contemplative, frivolous, and fulfilling holiday season!

Pro tip: it’s not too late to buy your mom something other than a robe.

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More about Chantal Below: Chantal moved from the US to England in third grade. She never developed a love of cricket, but did develop a fascination with humanity, unconsciously examining how different cultures and beliefs expand or limit our choices.

After graduating from Georgetown University, she started her career as a 4th grade teacher with Teach For America, hoping to expand choices for too-often marginalized children in low-income schools. She loved the energy of the kids and the vibrancy of the community, but no one really wanted her teaching long division.

Since then, she’s been exploring the many dimensions of the human condition while avoiding math. She worked for years in the education non-profit world leading teams and developing leadership development programs. Then, she ventured out on her own and started Redcliff Coaching, Inc. She supports leaders in all industries - with clients at Google, Homeless Prenatal Program, and to get out of their own way and live and lead in the way they most want.

She also attempts to parent three kids who are curious, compassionate, hysterical, and only vaguely pay attention to her advice. She lives in Oakland, CA.

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