Navigating Loneliness and Grief During the Holidays

12/17/24 • 57 min

In this heartfelt episode of You Make Sense, Sarah explores the often-overlooked emotional complexities of the holiday season. While the holidays are often painted as a time of joy and togetherness, Sarah acknowledges the undercurrent of loneliness, grief, and stress that many experience. She unpacks how societal expectations and past experiences can amplify these emotions, offering relatable insights and actionable tools to help listeners navigate this season with more ease.

Sarah delves into the somatic roots of grief and loneliness, using Parts Work to differentiate between our adult self and younger parts. From tending to these younger parts to finding solace in music, nature, and intentional connection, this episode offers a blueprint for transforming holiday challenges into opportunities for healing and self-discovery.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

02:09 Reasons the Holidays Can Be Challenging

06:58 Connecting to the Unmet Need

09:05 Why We Struggle to Process Grief

13:34 Step 1: Grief is Best Processed Through Connection

15:06 Step 2: What Parts of You Are Struggling?

15:45 Step 3: Focus on Nourishing Yourself

17:03 Step 4: Connection

19:42 Identify Which Part of You is Feeling Sad

30:46 How to Process Death and Loss

39:50 Coupling Dynamics & the Holidays

49:42 “Why Do I Drink More Around My Family?”

Join the Navigating Your Nervous System Waitlist:

Want access to limited-time pricing for Sarah’s upcoming 6-week course? Make sure to get on the waitlist for Navigating Your Nervous System by January 5th to take advantage of the 24-hour only $100 off bonus.

https://bit.ly/sp-nyns-waitlist

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

Important Keywords:

Loneliness - Loneliness is the feeling of being disconnected or isolated from others, often heightened during the holidays when societal messages emphasize togetherness. Sarah highlights how loneliness can stem from unmet needs, relational trauma, or past experiences and encourages using somatic tools and Parts Work to address it.
Grief - Grief is the emotional response to loss, encompassing not only what happened but also what never was. Sarah explains how grief surfaces when we feel safe enough to process it and encourages gentle, titrated processing of these emotions to create space for healing and growth.
Connection - Connection is a fundamental human need that fosters a sense of belonging and emotional safety. Sarah emphasizes the importance of cultivating meaningful connections with others, nature, and ourselves, as these relationships are key to navigating emotional challenges.
Parts work - Parts work is a therapeutic approach that acknowledges and tends to different aspects of the self, particularly younger parts carrying past wounds. Sarah discusses how identifying and comforting these parts can bring clarity and healing during emotionally challenging times.
Regulation - Regulation is the process of bringing the nervous system into safety and balance, allowing us to respond to situations from a calm, grounded place. Sarah suggests somatic practices such as mindfulness, movement, and connection to achieve regulation and build emotional resilience.
Healing - Healing is the process of addressing past traumas, unmet needs, and emotional pain to create space for growth and well-being. Sarah frames healing as an ongoing journey of self-compassion, connection, and transformation, particularly relevant during challenging emotional periods.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

02:09 Reasons the Holidays Can Be Challenging

06:58 Connecting to the Unmet Need

09:05 Why We Struggle to Process Grief

13:34 Step 1: Grief is Best Processed Through Connection

15:06 Step 2: What Parts of You Are Struggling?

15:45 Step 3: Focus on Nourishing Yourself

17:03 Step 4: Connection

19:42 Identify Which Part of You is Feeling Sad

30:46 How to Process Death and Loss

39:50 Coupling Dynamics & the Holidays

49:42 “Why Do I Drink More Around My Family?”

Join the Navigating Your Nervous System Waitlist:

https://bit.ly/sp-nyns-waitlist

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

Important Keywords:

Loneliness - Loneliness is the feeling of being disconnected or isolated from others, often heightened during the holidays when societal messages emphasize togetherness. Sarah highlights how loneliness can stem from unmet needs, relational trauma, or past experiences and encourages using somatic tools and Parts Work to address it.
Grief - Grief is the emotional response to loss, encompassing not only what happened but also what never was. Sarah explains how grief surfaces when we feel safe enough to process it and encourages gentle, titrated processing of these emotions to create space for healing and growth.
Connection - Connection is a fundamental human need that fosters a sense of belonging and emotional safety. Sarah emphasizes the importance of cultivating meaningful connections with others, nature, and ourselves, as these relationships are key to navigating emotional challenges.
Parts work - Parts work is a therapeutic approach that acknowledges and tends to different aspects of the self, particularly younger parts carrying past wounds. Sarah discusses how identifying and comforting these parts can bring clarity and healing during emotionally challenging times.
Regulation - Regulation is the process of bringing the nervous system into safety and balance, allowing us to respond to situations from a calm, grounded place. Sarah suggests somatic practices such as mindfulness, movement, and connection to achieve regulation and build emotional resilience.
Healing - Healing is the process of addressing past traumas, unmet needs, and emotional pain to create space for growth and well-being. Sarah frames healing as an ongoing journey of self-compassion, connection, and transformation, particularly relevant during challenging emotional periods.

Previous Episode

Experiencing Healthy Love for the First Time

Do you find romantic partnerships challenging, confusing, or overwhelming? Sarah is going to walk you through what is necessary to heal your attachment wounds and come toward more secure, healthy relationships. Although it might seem counterintuitive, the kind of connection we’re desiring often doesn’t “feel good” at first. In fact, our first experience of a secure attachment can range from being boring — to completely terrifying.

The good news is that this doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is wrong for you! In this episode, you’ll learn the neuroscience behind why healthy love can initially feel overwhelming or unexciting. But the more that we step toward safe connection, the deeper and more intimate our relationships become, giving us a container where we can truly be seen, known, and chosen.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

01:01 Earned Secure Attachment

06:12 The Good Doesn’t Feel Good at First

08:45 Why A Secure Attachment Can Feel Boring

10:08 Love from Choice vs Love from Survival

16:33 Why A Secure Attachment Can Feel Terrifying

24:00 Leaning into a Secure Attachment

29:40 “Why Do I Feel Like I’m Going Backwards?”

30:52 Building Capacity for Vulnerability and Exposure

35:06 The Beautiful Orphaned Parts of Us

39:43 How to Know if the Lack of Attraction is Normal

46:37 Regret Is an Opportunity for Self-Compassion & Learning

52:01 Perceived Threats in Relationships

01:06:01 Even with Loving Parents, Relationships Can Be Hard

Grab Sarah’s FREE Workbook:

Ready to gain control over your life? Click below to download Sarah’s free trauma-informed workbook. This in-depth guide will help you to harness the power of your nervous system and unlock your desires.

https://bit.ly/yms-sp-workbook

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

Important Keywords:

Secure Attachment - A safe, stable way of attaching and relating to others in our relationships that forms in our early childhood from having caregivers who could consistently meet our needs for love, safety, attunement, and connection.
Earned Secure Attachment - A secure attachment that develops through intentional self-work and healing from past patterns. It reflects personal growth and the ability to attract healthier relationships by creating internal safety for yourself and your younger parts.
Neuroception - Your body's internal threat detector that is constantly assessing whether you’re in safety, danger, or life-threatening danger. It decides this by looking to a database of past information that holds all your lived experiences.
Parts Work - A therapeutic process that involves connecting with and healing younger parts of yourself that hold onto past wounds. It’s a core tool for building internal safety and reshaping how you show up in relationships.
Trauma Bond - A strong emotional connection formed through cycles of highs and lows in an unstable relationship. Often mistaken for love, trauma bonds are rooted in survival instincts and unresolved past pain.
Protective Parts - Younger parts that learned to keep you from past emotional harm by creating walls, avoidance, control, or sabotage. Even if the past is over, these well-intentioned parts can keep you from fully engaging in healthy relationships.
Capacity Building - The process of gradually expanding your emotional tolerance for safety, love, and connection. It involves learning to sit with discomfort as you adjust to the steady, healthy love you’ve always wanted.

Next Episode

When We Feel Like We're Going Backward in Our Healing

This episode dives into the ups and downs of healing and why it can sometimes feel like you’re moving backward instead of forward. Sarah breaks down how coming back into our bodies is a marker of progress — but that it can also feel overwhelming at first. Experiencing grief, anger, or other deep emotions can all be signs of the work you’ve done.

With real-life examples and simple, science-backed advice, Sarah shares how to move beyond just “knowing” about your patterns and into healing in a way that actually creates change. You’ll learn how to regulate your nervous system, work with your younger parts, and create space for more connection and joy.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

00:40 Why Healing Can Feel Like You’re Going Backward

05:34 Information Gathering is Not Enough

07:29 Why We Become Disembodied

11:03 Healing is the Hero’s Journey

15:31 Trauma & Energy Wells

21:33 What To Look For in a Therapist or Practitioner

31:20 Receiving & Working With Young Parts

38:00 Why Do We Experience Chronic Dysregulation?

42:56 Sarah’s Journey

Join Sarah’s Email Community:

Looking for more FREE resources? Click below to join Sarah’s email community for additional teachings and somatic tools to support you on your healing journey.

https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

Important Keywords:

Nervous system - The nervous system is a self-protective system that determines your emotions, behaviors, and overall experience. It responds to safety, real threats, and perceived threats, influencing how you react and regulate in different situations.
Regulation - We can only experience regulation when our nervous system believes we are safe. Our primary state of regulation is our Ventral Vagal Complex, where we experience things like joy, connection, presence, groundedness, and feeling “here.”
Trauma - Trauma refers to overwhelming experiences that the body and mind were unable to process fully at the time they occurred. These unresolved energies get stuck and stored in the body, impacting mental and physical well-being until they are resolved.
Healing - Healing is the journey of addressing past wounds—both physical and emotional—to achieve greater freedom and alignment in life. It involves learning to regulate the nervous system, release stored trauma, and tending to younger parts of ourselves.
Dysregulation - Dysregulation occurs when the nervous system believes we are in danger, whether it is a real or perceived threat. Chronic dysregulation is often a result of unresolved trauma and can significantly impact daily functioning.
Internal Safety - Creating safety within our bodies and nervous system is the foundation of healing. This is what we are working toward when we take steps to regulate our nervous system.