We’re Asking for (and Getting) What We Want
12/09/24 • 43 min
What’s on your work wish list? A conference or training? A higher performance rating or salary or job title? Feedback from someone you respect? A project you’d like to lead? Clearer communication from your boss? Or maybe an extension on a deadline?
These are the sorts of things that Amy Gallo and four listeners asked for (and mostly got) when they did Alison Fragale’s “nos challenge” from our episode “To Get What You Want, Be Both Assertive and Warm.” These were the rules: ask different colleagues for something they have the power to give you and that you’d value having. Keep track of the requests and responses until you’ve gotten 10 nos. Also keep track of the yeses and how each response made you feel.
In doing the challenge, they tested their assumptions about people’s willingness to meet their wants and needs. They also crossed off lots of items on their wish lists, learned to fear rejection less, and gained status. Now, your turn?
Guest expert:
Alison Fragale is a professor of organizational behavior at the University of North Carolina’s business school. She’s the author of the book Likeable Badass: How Women Get the Success They Deserve.
Resources:
- “All the Help We Can Get,” from Women at Work
- “3 Negotiation Myths Still Harming Women’s Careers,” by Kathryn Valentine and Hannah Riley Bowles
- “How to Get the Help You Need,” by Heidi Grant
- “Ask for What You Need at Work,” by Deborah Grayson Riegel
- “Saying No at Work: Our Favorite Reads,” by Rakshitha Arni Ravishankar
- Act Like a Leader, Think Like a Leader, by Herminia Ibarra
Sign up for the Women at Work newsletter.
Email us: [email protected]
What’s on your work wish list? A conference or training? A higher performance rating or salary or job title? Feedback from someone you respect? A project you’d like to lead? Clearer communication from your boss? Or maybe an extension on a deadline?
These are the sorts of things that Amy Gallo and four listeners asked for (and mostly got) when they did Alison Fragale’s “nos challenge” from our episode “To Get What You Want, Be Both Assertive and Warm.” These were the rules: ask different colleagues for something they have the power to give you and that you’d value having. Keep track of the requests and responses until you’ve gotten 10 nos. Also keep track of the yeses and how each response made you feel.
In doing the challenge, they tested their assumptions about people’s willingness to meet their wants and needs. They also crossed off lots of items on their wish lists, learned to fear rejection less, and gained status. Now, your turn?
Guest expert:
Alison Fragale is a professor of organizational behavior at the University of North Carolina’s business school. She’s the author of the book Likeable Badass: How Women Get the Success They Deserve.
Resources:
- “All the Help We Can Get,” from Women at Work
- “3 Negotiation Myths Still Harming Women’s Careers,” by Kathryn Valentine and Hannah Riley Bowles
- “How to Get the Help You Need,” by Heidi Grant
- “Ask for What You Need at Work,” by Deborah Grayson Riegel
- “Saying No at Work: Our Favorite Reads,” by Rakshitha Arni Ravishankar
- Act Like a Leader, Think Like a Leader, by Herminia Ibarra
Sign up for the Women at Work newsletter.
Email us: [email protected]
Previous Episode
How to Leap Mid-Career from One Industry to Another
Changing jobs is hard. Changing sectors is daunting. You’ve built a network, a reputation, skills, expertise, a firm grasp of how that industry operates. Maybe you even got a related degree or two! And to just leave all that behind...except that, you really are stuck or unfulfilled or simply underpaid.
When it comes to shifting your career, the stakes are high, but so is your potential to succeed. Executive coach Nina Bowman regularly guides people through the process, with all of its uncertainty, time commitment, strategizing, and storytelling. Amy B speaks with her about making a bold mid-career leap, including how to identify a new path, build connections to land interviews, and tell the story of how you’ll find success in a completely different role.
Then, two listeners who made bold leaps themselves—one from academia to tech, the other from government to consulting—share their experiences and insights.
Guest expert:
Nina Bowman is an executive coach and managing partner of the consultancy Paravis Partners.
Resources:
- “4 Questions to Help Women Navigate the Second Half of Their Careers,” by Palena Neale
- “The Right Way to Make a Big Career Transition,” Utkarsh Amitabh
- “Are You at Risk of a Mid-Career Rut?” by Laurence Minsky and Julia Tang Peters
- “Starting a New Job as a Mid-Career Professional,” by Marlo Lyons
- “Reinventing Your Career — When It’s Not Just About You,” by Herminia Ibarra
- “4 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Changing Careers,” by Dorie Clark
- “Do You Really Need a Big Career Change?” by Irina Cozma
- Taking Charge of Your Career, from the HBR Women at Work Series
- HBR Guide to Changing Your Career, by Harvard Business Review
Sign up for the Women at Work newsletter
Email us: [email protected]
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