Voices of Disruption with Deborah Olatunji - Understanding Identity and Belonging as Nigerian-Americans: On Culture, Respect, and Family with Phoebe Omonira

Understanding Identity and Belonging as Nigerian-Americans: On Culture, Respect, and Family with Phoebe Omonira

08/09/21 • 49 min

Voices of Disruption with Deborah Olatunji

Happy August! Last week, we started to get into how our upbringing affects the way we view relationships, so it only makes sense to dive deeper this week into how culture shapes our entire lives and beliefs. As a Nigerian-American, I grew up between the crossroads of two different worlds, or as today’s guest would call it, the realities and stories of having a hyphenated identity. In this week’s episode, I chat with Phoebe Omonira to discuss empathy, growing gains and pains, leading generational shifts, establishing boundaries, navigating mental health support amongst stigma in the West African community, practicing mutual respect, and unlearning self-limiting beliefs.

We talk about how parents and teenagers can coexist in a healthy way and try to understand the imposter syndrome that comes from growing up in two very different cultures. From anti-Blackness coded in language to not feeling Black enough in predominantly Black or white spaces, this episode tells the stories we wish we knew of growing up. Culture is a gift; there are so many things that we are grateful for...but there are also many areas for growth and improvement.

Our childhood homes are the first places where we learn about how to be. Talking about problems in our families is typically seen as disrespectful, but it's only by discussing ways we want things to change for generational progress to happen. If family is a sensitive topic for you, I hope that this episode can bring you comfort and peace. None of us chose to be born, but the choices we make in our lives can lead us to the most incredible joys and discoveries. Sending everyone lots of love and light, regardless of your family situation!!

Learn more about our guest: Phoebe Omonira is an 18-year-old using her voice to raise awareness about the importance of empathy as the key to reducing inequality. Her advocacy work regarding empathy is centered around creating resources for kids and their grown-ups, working with the Center for Children’s Brainhealth of the University of Texas Dallas has been a great joy for her. She will be attending Southern Methodist University in the Fall of 2021 and double majoring in International Studies and Human Rights with a minor in Philosophy on the Pre-Law Track. Her children's book on empathy, Ollie the Elephant, is coming out in 2022. She is currently the Director of Community Outreach at Gen Z Girl Gang, where she works to redefine sisterhood for a new generation.

**This episode was recorded in March. Podcast Rec: Jesus and Jollof

The VODPOD is all about centering voices and stories of Generation Z authentically. As voices of disruption, we recognize that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness, and embrace storytelling in a way that sparks thought, inspiration, action, and conversation. Every time that you disrupt, you step into a power that allows you to create, uplift, and empower yourself and others.

LIVE DISRUPTED: Questions to ask yourself after listening to this episode:

What has your culture taught you about respect? What’s missing?
What’s something you would tell your younger self that you didn’t learn until later?
What's been instilled in you that affects the way you interact with people of different cultural backgrounds?

Join and connect with the community on Instagram @deb_olatunji, the podcast page, and the website! Be sure to leave a rating and write a review on Apple podcasts so that we can continue to share the stories of how fellow disruptors are being connected and empowered all over the world. Let’s disrupt together now!

**This episode was recorded in March. Podcast Rec: Jesus and Jollof

LIVE DISRUPTED: Questions to ask yourself after listening to this episode:

What has your culture taught you about respect? What’s missing?
What’s something you would tell your younger self that you didn’t learn until later?
What's been instilled in you that affects the way you interact with people of different cultural backgrounds?

Previous Episode

How To Shoot Your Shot At Love and Relationships with Amanda Giannopoulos

Let's get straight to the point. The very thought of "shooting your shot" has a clear meaning⁠—making your desires about another person known to said person. They are the forbidden crushes that our parents tell us to ignore in place of academic success, especially if you grew up in an immigrant household. It's the 5 stages of denial, a learned practice we've become way too familiar with in navigating our emotions.
But what if I told you that the act of shooting your shot is so much bigger than you think? And why has it been painted as taboo? As risqué? As BOLD? It's because going after what you want in relationships and love is one of the most powerful moves you can ever make.
The nerve-wracking, stomach-turning, gut-tumbling realization that you like someone is a sure sign of your growing humanity and your acceptance of it. Honoring that pull, that rush, that eye-dilating fear to reach out means affirming your ability to want something and open a world of self-trust and confidence.

In this week's episode of the VODPOD, I sit down with my very close friend Amanda to unpack why "shooting your shot" is put below the pursuit of success and how our upbringing and culture view's on relationship building can make or break our courage to go after what we want. We dive straight into the "how," take a chance on all kinds of love (romantic, platonic, familial, etc.) and hold nothing back.
Even though this episode was recorded in February, six months later it feels like a warm and special letter from the past. As we start to see the world open up, let's have the boldness to step out of ourselves, our fears, and our worries, and to instead step into the power that voicing our truth gives us. If you are looking for an honest and raw conversation on resisting struggle love, learning vulnerability, stopping self-sabotage, and making the first move, then this episode is for you.

p.s. Amanda and I finally did meet in April and again this summer after a year of connecting virtually!! **Stat check: The average person has 60,000 thoughts per day, according to the Cleveland Clinic.

LIVE DISRUPTED: Questions to ask yourself after listening to this episode:

In what areas of my life have I been getting in my own way by not going after what I want?
Who taught me about love and relationship building? What truth exists in what I was taught?
How can I start stepping into my power this month? What does shooting my shot look like in this season of becoming?

Join and connect with the community on Instagram @deb_olatunji, the podcast page, and the website! Be sure to leave a rating and write a review so that we can continue to share the stories of how fellow disruptors are being connected and empowered all over the world. Let’s disrupt together now!

Next Episode

Finding Glory in the Mystery (ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY EPISODE)

We’re celebrating one year of the Voices of Disruption podcast on this week’s episode as well as the return of the podcast. After a much-needed break between the transition of summer to the new school year, the stories that need to be heard are coming in HOT from this space of vulnerability, empathy, and rejuvenation.

One year ago, I sat in my freshman dorm room and hit record on a software I was unfamiliar with using. This week’s episode was recorded in my sophomore dorm room with completely different world conditions than when that first episode went live. Sharing stories is such a huge part of my identity now, in the moments when I’m uploading regularly, being present with the people I love, and trying to understand the world around me. Thank you so much for being a member of this community. I really love and appreciate every single one of you. Thanks again for listening and disrupting and sharing and growing with me!

In this episode of the VODPOD, I talk about what the past four months (June-September 2021) have been like, living with my close friends, moving from Boston to Philadelphia, navigating college life, and updates on my personal growth journey. I also share how shifts in my mental wellness have shaped my relationship with creativity and how I’ve dealt with some recent challenges in my life. I dive into the sacred practice of allowing others to show up for you and inviting softness into every area of connection. As someone who is often seen as a source of inspiration, I talk about the limitations behind the dimensions of our personhood online. The value of being present, speaking truths out loud, and discovering the new are all unraveled in this episode! Two months ago, I wrote the phrase “glory in the mystery” in a journaling session and this week I finally explored what this term means to me. I look at how this statement and affirmation to search for casual magic in the midst of madness has helped me through the constant change in my life, from changing my major to redefining what it means to be challenged as a student.

LIVE DISRUPTED: Questions to ask yourself after listening to this episode:

What are things that I can celebrate in my life? (even the things that seem small)
What does “finding glory in the mystery” mean to me in this season of my life?
Who can I check in on today? How’s my well? What can I do to fill my well so I can check in on someone else?

You can follow my instagram @deb_olatunji, the podcast page, and the website to stay updated and uplifted! Be sure to leave a rating and write a review so that we can continue to share the stories of how fellow disruptors are being connected and empowered all over the world. Let’s disrupt together now!