7. Family and Conditioning

02/02/23 • 64 min

Well, this one's definitely an Episode of two halves!
Part 1: Conditioning Occurring in the Family Setting
We revisit the two-fold model of Glitch/Wound*, or AS/IF*+incarnation. Death, Guilt, Shame etc. deeply originate in psychospiritual territory, 'pre-dating' birth (and typically continuing until and even after death!). Then, fear-of-death, and guilt-and-shame, are powerful conduits for rules-of-belonging, conditioning children to think, feel, and act in family-specific, limited modes.
Yes, But ,,, Is That All Bad?!
This Universe can be seen in two ways. It's a perfect place to hide out from GoB*, intentionally forever. Or, it's a perfect place to gradually recover the GoB relationship. Analogously, 'damaging' family conditioning that creates separative veils can be seen as a useful way to dim an otherwise-triggering Divine Light. Similarly, if attachment in early-life is 'too secure', there can be a comfort that obstructs a movement away from ultimately-false family beliefs (the ultimately most-significant of these being about matter and local-reality!).
Recurrence of Family Conditioning: 'Transcend and Return'
Even after a first-pass liberation from family conditioning, on the way to transcending local-reality and conventional-identity, there are certain return-to-incarnate-life paths that can involve the recurrence of those same familial energies and constraints. The Veils framework can be uniquely helpful in understanding and navigating this recurrence, via the idea that matter itself contains potent forms of imprisonment, and a pointer to the ARC* (and 'Troot' - the origin-point of the ARC) as the reality-aspect designed to help us navigate matter and its Enlightenment!
Part 2: Conditioning Inherent in the Construct/Conception of 'Family'
In a switch of view, really standing in and for One Cosmic Family, without division, the second half explores a somewhat contrary view: 'Yes, Family really is essentially an unhelpful and pointless societal construct!' (For example - according to this view: current conceptions of 'family' always take us away from that One Family, and try to keep us away from relationship with the Ground.)
Family as Structure for Free Play, vs Obstructive/Divisive Construct
The Knowledge/Mystery frontier is one of humankind's crucial (and unappreciated!) challenges: how do we put structure (e.g. 'knowledge') together with un-structure (aka 'Mystery') in a way that simply expands Goodness? This doesn't happen when 'structure' means 'conditioned bondage'! Similarly, current 'family' conceptions might mean bondage, but future versions may offer structures for free play!
Soul Family
Souls emphasize specific aspects in One Being; emphases on relatively-similar aspects create Soul families. In one view, resonance between Soul-family members can help propel Souls out of material identification and towards astral realms. On the other hand, Souls can linger in the family level, mis-identifying that as real-Reality, or Heaven - once again, highlighting the double-edged nature of Family!
*To hear more about Glitch/Wound, AS/IF, GoB, ARC etc, please visit E1 (after about 30mins), and E18. Or, distil your own picture as you go!

Thanks for listening!
Find out more:
For Oliver's Psycho-Spiritual work with Individuals, Couples and Groups, please visit http://www.oliverbaum.co.uk.
For Nicholas' In-Person work, please visit http://www.liveyourdeepestself.com.
For Nicholas' Scientific work, please visit http://www.cfdis.org.

Previous Episode

6. Life Statements and Limiting Beliefs

What are Life Statements and Limiting Beliefs?
One model depicts Statements and Beliefs as a tree, with a trunk formed from one of two positions: 'I'm bad', or 'I'm worthless/not-good-enough'. Branches and twigs coming off this trunk are typically formed by ingesting and crystallizing some Family Beliefs, by self-directed creative cognitions, and/or by pressures from society and culture.
As with other aspects of early-life psychology, this structure can have far greater impact than current mainstream science allows. E.g., if inaccurate and limiting statements are pushed into 'the causal mind', they don't just govern how we react to or process events (as mainstream science can allow for). They can govern or influence the very life-events we create!
The Belief that Originates All Limits!
As previous Episodes discuss, the Veils approach identifies twocausal components for human suffering: a pre-birth Cosmic Glitch* (also prior to the birth of the Universe!), and an in-life Primal Wound - the definitive incarnational 'landing' of the Glitch.
Traditional treatments discuss limiting beliefs only relative to the Wound and incarnational-local events (perhaps including conception, gestation and birth - but only of the child, not of the Universe!) The Veils approach points out the belief that's the source of all limits, a belief predating the Universe itself: 'It's a good idea for a Soul to try to be self-creating'!
Veils' Unique Treatment of Matter's Life Statements
A powerful and unique feature of the Veils framework treats the material Universe as a repackaging of guilt, fear, fury, grief etc, originating in the Great AS/IF*. This frame makes it meaningful to speak about Life Statements and Limiting Beliefs of matter itself, a construct which no other approach can support (to our knowledge!).
The densest, darkest Life Statement is 'suffering and separation go on forever' - in fact the very origin of the matter-field's density and mass.
Matter's Life Statements Can Diffuse into Psyche
Psyche can be thought of as a bubble with a membrane protecting it from matter's darkest density. But this membrane can become permeable. 'Suffering is forever' can then pour into psyche. We discuss the cases of chronic refractory depression, and drug-induced psychosis. How are Life Statements and Limiting Beliefs Healed/Released?
What's required for the release of limiting beliefs?

An intention to change must be evoked - curiosity, or crisis!
Something responds to this intention!
That 'something' uses 'various' mechanisms in consciousness!
Once change has begun, the mind seeks a new congruence, and various mechanisms - for example, tapping, affirmations etc. - can support unfolding and integration of new equilibrium.

The 'something' and its 'various' mechanisms (2+3 above) depend on domain:

Psychologically: a separated mind-bubble can see the untruth, e.g. of 'I still have to think like a kid'!
Psycho-spiritually: that same mind-bubble can't see the untruth of its own separation - it needs the help of the ARC*!

For more on Glitch, AS/IF, ARC etc., please refer to Episodes 1 & 18.

Next Episode

8. Society and Conditioning

This Episode is the second of three looking at Conditioning: we discuss the idea that Familial (E7), Societal (this Episode), and Cultural (E9) versions form a sort of interlinked trinity.
Family vs Society
Although there are some similarities, Society isn't quite the same as one big Family, in terms of conditioning. For example, Society sets its own limits (e.g. laws), whereas Family norms can (usually!) only vary within a societally-acceptable envelope.
Conditioning: What is It Good For?
Liberation spiritualities and personal-growth modalities tend to be unanimous in decrying the limiting effects of conditioning. (And those effects certainly exist, and are usually associated with suffering.) But there's also a way in which conditioning is a repackaging of the effects of Split Will*, in a more tractable and ultimately constructive way.
Nevertheless, if all that Society does is suppress and look away from what's behind conditioning, we just live in a toxic smokescreen, without ever undoing its source.
Society-without-Illusion?
Ultimately, after the Total Awakening* of our Universe, society - and everything else! - will be free of the bondage of conditioning, and of the illusion of separation. As an intermediate step towards that Awakening, human society must begin to look more deeply at what's going on, in terms of Split Will, and (e.g.) the repackaging of Its effects in/as matter. That looking must be done with Intelligence (synonymous with living from a Heart of Wholeness and Oneness).
Community vs Society
Community (like E7's One True Cosmic Family!) is imbued with the Light of Communion, notably Communion with GoB*. But conventional society more than lacks that Communion: it actively suppresses it, via collective collusion in narcissism and fragmented scientific/spiritual reality-narratives (inherited from the cultural domain). To restore Communion, we need to strip out contradiction/conflict, while retaining distinct-and-differing perspectives.What Can Be Done/Said?!
Both what we need to look at societally (e.g. Split Will) and the resources we need, to look constructively (e.g. Intelligence), seem to be deeply buried. And things that are supposed to help us (e.g. spiritual traditions) often move in multiple contradictory directions ... So what's to be done?
If we can find the quality of consciousness that can smile at 'life is suffering', we can share it with like-minded others (and so strengthen it in everyone), and take action to liberate it, universally. And we can find that consciousness: it's the ARC*, and it's already literally everywhere (in both real- and alleged-Reality). Importantly, we must draw on the ARC's guidance in liberation-orientated societal-relating, because otherwise our best intentions may backfire in their effects.
Community in a Time of Societal Polarization
Overall, we propose that community can be an antidote to fragmented society, especially in a context of increasing polarization. At the same time, we support the creativity, value, and beauty of non-conflicting differences in society - perhaps as exemplified by our conversations!
*For more on Total Awakening, Split Will, GoB, ARC etc., please refer to E1 (c. 30 mins) or E18.