008 - Sex and Shame

07/11/24 • 19 min

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer these questions:

My husband went to a “massage parlor” for a hand job about every two weeks until I discovered what he was doing 13 months later. How do I get over the shame?
My question is, after a 33-year marriage, where I trusted my husband, I found out he was having a long-term affair with a married woman. I suspected porn and seeing some of the pictures on his phone, he was into some very devious stuff. I’m now divorced, and I’m wondering if I can trust another man again to love who I am and not feel like I have to be a woman of the world to grab a man’s attention again. I’m doubting that I’m someone desirable in bed anymore.
After having sex with my husband, I feel so much shame and often cry. Why is this? We’ve been through the healing process, but I can’t seem to shake these feelings after sex.

Resources

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

SOCIALS

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer these questions:

My husband went to a “massage parlor” for a hand job about every two weeks until I discovered what he was doing 13 months later. How do I get over the shame?
My question is, after a 33-year marriage, where I trusted my husband, I found out he was having a long-term affair with a married woman. I suspected porn and seeing some of the pictures on his phone, he was into some very devious stuff. I’m now divorced, and I’m wondering if I can trust another man again to love who I am and not feel like I have to be a woman of the world to grab a man’s attention again. I’m doubting that I’m someone desirable in bed anymore.
After having sex with my husband, I feel so much shame and often cry. Why is this? We’ve been through the healing process, but I can’t seem to shake these feelings after sex.

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

SOCIALS

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions:

Since discovery, it's been hard for me to know when my husband is telling me the truth. Should I trust my gut intuition even though he’s telling me I’m being paranoid?
What is gaslighting? Can you give examples of what this looks like?
What are the best ways to respond if I think someone is gaslighting me?

Show Notes:

GET STARTED

Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Join A Pure Desire Online Group

SOCIALS

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer these questions:

My question is how do you know if you are actually having an orgasm?
I don’t know that I have ever enjoyed sex. I can orgasm but I don’t know how to wake my body up. Sex was shamed in my Christian home then I was supposed to enjoy it after marriage but for so long, sex was used as a tool when my husband was in his addiction. We are doing so much better, relationally, after PD but I don’t know how to start liking sex.
How are the brain and orgasm connected?